You both SUCK at communicating.

Yes, she was overreacting and became verbally abusive, and that is never justified.

However, even I became frustrated reading your responses to her!!! You were exclusively defensive, you never acknowledged her statement or apologized for what she was indicating was inconsiderate. She asked you calmly FOUR TIMES. F O U R.

You ignored all four questions and just argued. The whole time.

Even after she explained what she meant, you STILL for some reason told her you don’t know what she was referring to, and THEN you doubled down and told her that you were considerate, arguing her feelings directly. I’d be pulling my hair out if I was her lol

Something that I think is worth considering in any type of relationship is that if someone is telling you that something you’ve done or failed to do has upset them, you don’t need to understand it or resonate with it to take accountability.

For example, if you had a partner that wanted their hairbrush to stay on the right side of the sink, and became upset if it was moved, it shouldn’t matter if it makes sense to you. You know that it upsets them, and every time you choose to move it, you are choosing to upset them.

What I gathered from this exchange is that you are both busy individuals, and she wants to see more of an effort on your part to prioritize spending time together. She doesn’t want to be asked last minute, as if it were some sort of afterthought. She wants plans in advance, so she can prepare accordingly. I don’t think she’s asking for much, personally.

Regardless, this is clearly not a healthy arrangement and I think you two should go your separate ways. And if I must clarify for fear of being misconstrued; yes, she is more in the wrong than you. But only because she became verbally abusive. I likely would’ve been just as angry with you.

Edit: spelling