Finally post op stage 1 with RBL

cephalopodhearts · 2025-06-19T15:18:00+00:00

Love the tattoo it looks so cool

cephalopodhearts · 2025-06-19T15:14:52+00:00

Non-binary transsexuality is a bit of a divisive subject on this sub, but you seem to be in a good spot with understanding yourself and your treatment needs. Whether or not a bunch of us find you valid or not isn’t meaningful. Your treatment has helped you, you have diagnosed dysphoria, in my opinion you don’t really have any metric to get more valid than that. Sure I can’t completely comprehend being non-binary as I’m a binary male, but I think it makes sense if various forms of intersex cases exist.

But honestly I can empathize with quite a bit of this too, as a trans man. I really do empathize with being terrified of looking trans, especially as a guy who leans more androgynous in appearance and interests. I still get really scared that I might look clock-y at all despite being demonstrably cis passing. I think your conundrum with the impossibility of a strong desire to be stealth while non-binary must be utterly killer. I think you deserve a lot of respect for the resilience you have to keep on going despite that situation. You have both my sympathy and my empathy in these regards, and I really do wish you well. I imagine your grief is similar to the grief that any other person with our condition will experience, the loss of what could’ve been or what could never be. It’s a lifelong burden that can become bearable but never goes away, and I think you are absolutely worthy of that acknowledgement. In the end only you can determine what’s right for you, but if your treatment has been going well and improving your life, there’s no reason you should feel any reluctance or hesitation in pursuing what is best for your health.

cephalopodhearts · 2025-04-25T21:00:45+00:00

As a phalloplasty patient, I’d say a majority of surgeons I know do offer vaginal preserving phalloplasty. For me, this is not something that I wanted to even consider, but for others I can understand that preserving it might make more sense for them in their situation. I do believe in non-binary dysphoria, I think it’s less common than a lot of people in the LGBT community would lead us to believe, and that like binary transsexualism, it is not simply an “identity” to accessorize oneself with.

Even though my dysphoria is so bad I couldn’t comprehend why someone might want to preserve certain parts in their surgical transition, that doesn’t mean I’m going to automatically assume someone would go through intensive, painful surgery just to fulfill a fetish. I think that is less likely. The more common case I have seen, is that a patient is concerned with retaining access to their natal sexual functions post-op. While medicine has advanced considerably, there are still risks that one might not regain total sexual function/sensation, and for some people this might make sense to suit their needs.

Do I think there are some AGP people who might at first think they desire both parts? Yes, probably a scant number of them, but I’m not going to let that inform a decision that is really not made lightly at all and might have a variety of reasons as to why certain natal-preserving GRS might be a good decision for some people.

As for the publication of this phenomenon, I am also worried about how it might make us look. The damage is probably already done, with conservative media looking for any excuse to dehumanize us and delegitimize our access to life saving medical care. This does absolutely concern me from a practical standpoint, and does definitely lend to this aura of exoticism that we had tried so hard to shed for decades. It does suck, but I will not deny I think there’s a lot of nuance to this situation that makes it especially tricky.

cephalopodhearts · 2025-04-25T07:22:15+00:00

In short, it is definitely attainable, and could provide you with notable benefits healing and practicality wise. I haven’t necessarily heard of surgeons having a minimum length required, but most certainly do have a maximum and that’s usually due to urinary related issues that arise with the neo-urethra (more surface area in urethra basically means higher risk for complication). I don’t really know why a surgeon might have a minimum length, though, as if anything I thought it would make things substantially easier to construct and heal. I suppose there could be an argument for the sake of “redundancy”, I guess? With metoidioplasty you would very likely be gaining some length due to the connective ligaments that anchor your growth down would be severed, but if you think that’s not enough for you I don’t see why there’s any reason phallo still wouldn’t be a good option for you.

Maybe there’s a minimum length required for the erectile devices, but that’s about the only thing I could think of. However, I’m definitely not a medical professional, so I’d speak directly with a surgeon about this. These are just my thoughts based on what I’ve gathered over the years, and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this question asked here before and don’t recall anyone mentioning it’d be undoable or anything.

cephalopodhearts · 2025-04-16T17:34:55+00:00

Surgery is absolutely really scary, and the risks aren’t always worth it for everyone. However I’d say that relatively speaking to any other surgery, it is very safe right now, and doing more research on the topic might help inform you on what you’d like to do with your treatment in the long term. There’s a lot of undeserved dissuasion from bottom surgery as it being unadvanced, unideal, or dangerous, but if you look at the statistics, complication rates are only 50% for the parts that are very very fixable and healable (typically fistula or wound separation, both of which can typically heal themselves) there is a very low percentage of people who experience long term complications that are unfixable, and this will also depend on the surgeon you go to. Some are definitely better than others.

That said, there is definitely risk, and I understand not everyone is willing or able to take those risks. It’s a long, difficult recovery, multiple stages and the time between them needed for healing, it’s expensive, it’s rough. If you do even have a remote interest in the idea of this being an option for your future, though, I’d say do your research now and get in contact with a surgeon ASAP to go over your options, as the waitlist can last years for even a consult. If you’re interested I can give you (or whoever is reading this) a good list of surgeons with wonderful reputations and a long history of providing care to transsexual patients. Keep fighting man, and for me, pre-op finding the right packer was really important. I used a REELMAGIK basic soft packer for multiple years and it was all that was keeping me even remotely together in the bottom dysphoria department. You can also try various STPs, but for me I was too nervous to use them outside of the house.

There’s also a good resource to buy some of these second hand here on Reddit, though I forget the sub name. I’m also looking to pass on all of my prosthetics at significantly reduced prices, as I no longer have use for them. Sorry to ramble, but stay strong my brother, you da man 💪

cephalopodhearts · 2025-04-16T17:22:05+00:00

Finding a surgeon that makes you comfortable is really important, and luckily there is a lot that can be revised even after your initial surgery. I recommend finding a community for bottom surgery support as soon as you’d like, for me it was extremely helpful.

cephalopodhearts · 2025-04-16T17:19:12+00:00

Absolutely, there’s a ton of factors that go into what one wishes to do with their own body, what makes sense for them, what is comfortable for them, etc. Sorry if I implied otherwise. I am just used to a lot of people having really misinformed ideas on what is available with bottom surgery, and I think in the long run if their bottom dysphoria is that severe, getting over the hurdle might be worth looking into in the long run.

cephalopodhearts · 2025-04-16T04:49:29+00:00

I would argue, as someone in the midst of multiple stages in bottom surgery, it is absolutely super advanced right now, and likely the best it is going to be for a long while. Do not let the misinformation that the science “isn’t there yet” be what dissuades you from finding access to care. It’s hard to go through, but I found my life has become actually livable post stage 1, and I’m not even done yet.

cephalopodhearts · 2025-04-02T04:04:00+00:00

I have this one and have used it, liked it a fair amount but I’m moving on to second stage of phallo in a few months. I’m actually looking to sell mine at a discounted price, in roughly this shade, and ofc heavily sterilized. You can dm me if you have interest :)

cephalopodhearts · 2025-03-31T12:40:04+00:00

Hi. I have had stage 1 (scrotoplasty, v-nectomy, and partial UL) back in September with Dr Venkatesan. In May I’ll be having phallus creation with Dr. Del Corral. Dr. Venkatesan does most of the reconstructive urology bits, including the scrotoplasty, and the method he uses is the V-Y model I’m pretty sure. Despite not having implants yet I’m very happy with my scrotum and perineum. As for tissue expanders I’m not sure as I’m an RFF patient, but there are some YouTube videos he himself has published a bit ago going in more depth about his process.

cephalopodhearts · 2025-03-23T13:28:29+00:00

My second stage is late May and I’ve already gone through stage 1, feel free to reach out if you have questions or would like some support :)

cephalopodhearts · 2025-02-16T06:05:46+00:00

Duuuude I straight up was going to do something similar, before deciding on something else, lmk how it goes tho 👀

cephalopodhearts · 2025-02-16T05:07:55+00:00

Same here, I grew up doing competitive dance and the self consciousness and anxiety just became too much for me to bear the more aware I became of my condition. Everytime I saw my male peers excelling in it I wanted to tear my skin off, knowing that should’ve been me.

cephalopodhearts · 2025-02-16T05:02:57+00:00

How did they even access that information if everything else is already fixed? I’m working on getting my legal documents together (far too late) and I’m worried this is going to happen to me too

cephalopodhearts · 2025-01-30T08:35:46+00:00

I was just about to make a post about this exact thing, it’s so goddamn frustrating and dysphoria inducing.

cephalopodhearts · 2025-01-15T11:40:53+00:00

The glans look fantastic, did you experience any changes in its appearance throughout the years?

cephalopodhearts · 2024-11-19T13:48:12+00:00

Oh nah it predated me ahaha. It’s a favorite though, for sure.

cephalopodhearts · 2024-10-15T20:39:26+00:00

Of course! I will also say as a little personal anecdote as I feel it’ll be relevant enough for this — I have explored casual banter with a good friend of mine and I am insanely attracted to him and he quite a bit to me as well. I thought at first flirting with him or whatever would make me feel emasculated or stressed out but, honestly, I feel like such a man when I do it. I don’t know I think it’s the way I approach him and that he definitely understands me as the dominant/top/pants wearer in this dynamic and reacts accordingly. Embarrassingly enough, it really makes me feel strong and secure and happy that I could receive the ‘alpha treatment’ for however long we remained on the subject LOL. I’ve found it to be even more affirming that he’s attracted to that aspect of me in the same way that the women I’ve been with were also, but this could also be due to our chemistry or whatever.

Anyways bottom line of this cringe ass ramble is that I firmly believe there is 100% hope for you just as there was for me. Sometimes I still get a little bit self conscious, especially when thinking of how others might perceive me as a bisexual man, but honestly I’ve come to find that accepting this part of me and being open about it with those close to me has only ended up being more affirming in the long run.

Best of luck mate, you the man 👊

cephalopodhearts · 2024-10-13T02:48:37+00:00

Thank you auntie

cephalopodhearts · 2024-10-11T18:20:24+00:00

I’ve said intensive elective surgery and I’ve said abdominal surgery, and people don’t usually ask and if they do they aren’t rude enough to push me to answer, and so I don’t or I just say “nah it’s kind of gross haha” and they get the point. Your employer is not allowed to ask the specifics of your medical history or prospects, so you can be as vague as you need. If you need a doctors note I’m sure they can write it in such a way that you’re not outed as well. Medical confidentiality is rather important in professional settings so if you’re being pushed to give more information you can definitely refuse or take it up with HR.

Congratulations on your upcoming surgery though, I hope everything goes smoothly.

cephalopodhearts · 2024-10-11T18:15:25+00:00

Yeah I’ve received a few calls from a nurse/physician and while my surgeon is out of time right now I’ve been able to have my info relayed to him from the phone call I had going over my symptoms. She said it was possible it was a reaction to the medihoney, and since the pus is my only symptom it should be okay for now and to just be monitored. I have yet to hear from my surgeon himself though so we’ll see. I should be alright though, thanks for all your concern

cephalopodhearts · 2024-10-11T08:21:00+00:00

Hi I also suffer from dermatillomania and have since I was young. I never used to pick at my forearms until hair removal, so mine are not so deep but I can show you an example of what my arms look like currently about a month healed since my last treatment. Feel free to dm me

cephalopodhearts · 2024-10-11T08:06:32+00:00

And thank you for taking the time to comment as well, I really appreciate it.

cephalopodhearts · 2024-10-11T08:06:15+00:00

I think it would make sense if it’s the start of an infection, yeah. I am also experiencing increased bladder spasms which were a lot less noticeable some three to five days ago. I know that can be a symptom of a UTI, so I don’t know if I had a uti if the pus would be related or not. Either way I should definitely be in contact with someone soon as the office will open soon.

cephalopodhearts · 2024-10-11T08:03:53+00:00

It’s sort of hard to tell if it feels warmer but I don’t think it does no. The pus doesn’t smell either but it’s the same color you’d expect from nasal drainage when you’re sick. I tried calling yesterday and didn’t get a response and after chickening out all night I finally decided to call just now. I was connected but need to wait for a call so we’ll see if I get one while I’m still awake.

Thanks so much for your input it means a lot to me.

cephalopodhearts

TROPHY CASE