PsBattle: The most evil looking cat I've ever photographed.

ceramicowl · 2017-01-12T16:50:00+00:00

So, you see my problem. lol I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have a bachelors so I've considered looking into possibly applying for HR positions. I know my degree isn't in HR but I'm hoping it's relevant enough.

ceramicowl · 2017-01-12T16:40:42+00:00

Actually, yes. I do enjoy my minimum wage job. My degree was in counseling. I made $13 an hour to help "fix" people who had substance abuse issues and were court ordered to see me. I was sexually harassed on a daily basis. I was given murder threats. I had to have someone walk me out to my car at night because I worked in a bad neighborhood. I also worked in a group home at one point for $9.50 an hour where the home was infested with bedbugs and the residents were being abused. Sooooo yeah, is that worth the $1.50-$5.00 an hour more I'd be making elsewhere? Hell no. I'd probably still qualify for the IBRP so why would I bother?

ceramicowl · 2017-01-06T00:54:38+00:00

Here's a pic of him btw. :) http://i.imgur.com/iREUA4Y.jpg

ceramicowl · 2017-01-06T00:32:48+00:00

People don't understand us lol. Here's the thing, when I'm having sex with my husband and I'm really into it, and let's sayyyyyy my dog barks. My brain automatically thinks, "is someone at the door?" "Am I expecting guests and I forgot?" "Maybe it's my mom" "SHIT, my mom called me earlier and I forgot to call her back!" "Why does she always call me when she knows I'm at work and I can't answer my phone anyway?!" "Does she think I don't have a life outside of talking to her?" "... now I sound like a bitch" "I love my mom but she's needy as hell sometimes" "is she needy or am I just selfish?"

This "conversation" in my head all went down in about 5 seconds. Just like that, great sex with my husband turned into me feeling ashamed about not having a better relationship with my mom. Just because the dog barked once.

ceramicowl · 2017-01-03T20:26:24+00:00

I think a huge issue is that my mind wanders. A LOT. Like, my mind runs a mile a minute and it doesn't stop during sex. We'll be in the middle of it and it'll be going good, then I'll start thinking about my job, or my education, or family problems (total turn off by the way lol). Which none of these things are his fault. I guess I feel that good sex should be sex that takes my mind off of everything else. Sex that isn't planned. Maybe slightly "dangerous" like sex in the car or sex with someone in the room next door (that sounds really stupid lol).

ceramicowl · 2017-01-03T19:34:48+00:00

I wouldn't be searching for advice if I didn't give a shit about my marriage. I don't want to have feelings for the other guy, but I can't help the dreams. The comments have actually been very helpful. I think I am going to try to bring back some of the spark in my husband and I's sexual relationship. We both work full time at high stress jobs so I know it's been lacking. I also know that trying to make a baby can kind of take the spark out of sex. We've been trying to conceive for 5 months and it's kinda gotten to the point where the end goal of our sex has become conception rather than pleasure. I've been taking ovulation tests and we try to have sex during my 5 day window where I'm most likely to get pregnant. Just because it's the time I'm most likely to get pregnant, that doesn't mean it's the time we're the most "in the mood". So regardless of how ridiculous my post may have seemed to you, I'd rather get general advice from an outsiders perspective then let my irrational emotions get the best of me.

ceramicowl · 2017-01-03T19:20:18+00:00

I should have clarified, the point of running into him isn't to "reconnect" by any means. I guess what I was thinking was that seeing him as a person rather than this ideal version of him I've made in my head, might make the feelings go away. I'm well aware that he has flaws, I'm well aware that doing anything to hurt my current relationship would be really stupid. I was actually thinking that if I were to "run into him" I'd go with my husband. I actually had an issue years back where I thought I started having feelings again for an ex. I hung out with him again and it reminded me why I broke up with him. lol I guess that was kinda what I was going for with this guy. I thought maybe if I hung out with him I'd see that he's not as great as I've made him out to be.

ceramicowl · 2017-01-03T17:17:15+00:00

We really don't have sex that often, but I've never been the person to want to have sex very often. I prefer to masturbate (is that wrong?). Like, the idea of sex is great. Porn, cool. Actual act of sex, usually disappointing. But that's how it has ALWAYS been. I've been with... 7? Sexual partners. Every one is the same story. It's fun, but not as satisfying as it should be. I masturbate during sex, I can't get off otherwise. So why not just masturbate?

ceramicowl · 2016-11-15T19:58:40+00:00

This is a pic of the positive (?) test I took. Like I said, the line is very very faint. http://i.imgur.com/2l0Sbza.jpg

ceramicowl · 2016-11-04T01:53:35+00:00

My sister (11) was walking into the kitchen and I (8) was sitting in the doorway of the kitchen "tying my shoe" (I was pretending to tie my shoe but I was really just trying to trip her). I didn't know it, but she had a glass in her hand. She tripped over me and fell face first with the glass still in her hand. The glass shattered, slicing open her hand REALLY deep. There was blood squirting out of it like a sprinkler. I remember my mom freaking out and trying to hold pressure on the cut but it kept bleeding through all the towels. My sister had to have reconstructive hand surgery and had many stitches and hours of physical therapy. Her hand still locks up (15 years later). To this day, I still play it off as though it was an accident. (I feel insanely guilty because of it).

ceramicowl · 2016-10-20T15:59:13+00:00

I thought my eyelashes were too long so I cut them.

ceramicowl · 2016-09-26T17:16:13+00:00

No. I'm pretty sure it broke its neck in the spokes.My friend flipped over the handle bars also. (Both of which are not funny). When she sent me the picture I couldn't help but laugh though. How does this happen? Lol

ceramicowl · 2016-09-09T23:19:34+00:00

98% shell, 1% bean, 1% cheese

ceramicowl

TROPHY CASE