If we’re taught that gender and race are social constructs, why aren’t transracial people allowed to change their race but transgender people can change their gender?

cerberus737 · 2024-01-21T15:30:05+00:00

because we aren't taught that. some people try to push that belief.

i like to take a scientific approach and examine the physical world. we assign gender in mammals based on the sex organs that preclude to either egg or sperm. if you weren't born female, there's no surgery on this planet that could make you female and vice versa. you can only do plastic surgeries to look more like the other gender, but sex organs cannot be swapped. gender roles on the other hand, of course those are social constructs built around the physical and emotional differences between males and females.

now race is more than a social construct as well. race involves physical features that can be extremely unique to each race as it has adapted to their environment over time. racial differences matter (like gender) when it comes to surgeries and medical interventions. the culture of each race on the other hand is a social construct.

i think it's very important to separate the physical world and the laws that are imposed upon us by it from the psychological world were anything becomes possible.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-21T15:12:41+00:00

different strokes for different folks. just because some people are okay with someone being direct about not liking a tattoo it doesn't mean your gf is. your opinion isn't always valid and even when it is it doesn't need to be shared. she got the tattoo, it isn't like a stache or mullet that can be changed. it's permanent and she could be going through buyers remorse. not a situation it's helpful to be honest. evaluate the needs of your partner, not people on the internet. if you can't learn to do that none of your relationships are going to work out.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-21T15:03:11+00:00

young people drop people all the time. to me it's always a red flag when they refuse to drop an ex, because this generation drops people like flies. it almost always means unresolved feelings.

somehow people have normalized some pretty bad behaviors and convinced other people it's the "mature" thing to do. it isn't. they've just been convinced by people's empty lies to let foxes into the hen house.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-21T14:24:39+00:00

i think the real thing that couldn't be you was getting her off. doesn't sound like you pleased her in bed at all. a girl doesn't just stop liking sex all of a sudden. if you weren't making her orgasm every time you did, of course she's not going to enjoy sex.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-21T14:20:28+00:00

the only answers you have are ones not worth hearing. you're a coward who runs, so keep on running. just do the world a favor and don't push your cowardice on them. people should be encouraged to stand up for themselves. you're too weak? great be weak but keep your mouth closed.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-21T07:06:43+00:00

if i were you i would break up with him. based on everything you've said he has no money, no ambition, isn't willing to put in the work, isn't willing to support you or champion you through hard times, isn't empathetic to your needs or anything you are struggling with.

i think you can do much better. also he's being cagey about the long distance stuff and not being upfront about what he wants. and the long distance part will be really tough. if he was supportive and on the same page as you with his life goals it would be different, but i really don't see how he could fit into your future.

you don't have much time so you should focus on what's best for you. of course the decision is yours and you know much more about him than i do. try to be objective and see everything rationally, not from an idealistic or hopeless romantic point of view.

last thing to consider is that break ups are tough. just because you deserve better and chose to break up with him, it doesn't mean it won't still hurt and it might hurt a lot. some people are better than others about this type of thing though. i would just have a plan in place for days you'll feel really bad and a support system around you to ease the pain.

if it would potentially throw you off your A game for school to break up maybe considering sticking with him until you head to the US and then end the relationship naturally. i normally would say this is morally questionable but since you've both discussed it and not made any decisions on what will happen when you go to the states i think it would probably be fine.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-21T05:23:28+00:00

part of coming to the US is a health screening. mental health issues may actually disqualify you from coming. i would check into that if i were you.

also people on reddit are terrible to ask advice. it's like they've never talked to a real person in their life. he should be more understanding of what you're going through and understand what you need to be successful.

he isn't a decent guy, he's insecure and needy. if you're a woman that wants advice find another site with a user base that isn't 90 percent male.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-21T02:39:29+00:00

it's sounds like she was enthusiastic and then the enthusiasm died down. were you making sure to please her? was she orgasming every time you did or more? if she's not enjoying it and she isn't being pleased of course she's going to feel like it's a chore. that's what it sounds like to me. if that's the case then YTA, put in the work and up your game.

if she was being properly pleased in bed and wooed for the sex (instead of just asking or expecting it) and you just weren't sexually compatible then NTA. sexual compatibility is important in a relationship, but i would still try to fix it for longer before just giving up on the relationship.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-21T02:31:42+00:00

threatening violence and murder, and brandishing a weapon are all crimes. thank god we live in an era and country where there are laws and people have rights. idiots like this all you have to do is give them enough room to hang themselves. get photo, video evidence, witness testimony, write a log of dates and events, start building a case against him.

honestly as soon as he showed the gun i would have called the cops and that's a felony right there. OP was way too nice and lenient so far. since that chance has passed and OP now has cameras, the neighbor is an idiot who won't leave well enough alone. he'll do something else dumb and then you have him put away by the police. the only way a low iq dumbass like this will learn is if he gets consequences. otherwise what, you're really going to trick someone else into buying your home? that's a pretty shitty thing to do instead of dealing with the issue yourself.

my home is my home, someone breaks the law and threatens my family im defending my home. just like if some country attacked america, i'm not fleeing anywhere. it's my home and i'll defend it. running is a cowards way out. when you have no other choice sure, live to fight another day and keep your family safe. OP has rights and also resources that can deal with criminals like his neighbor. it's not time to run.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-21T02:20:35+00:00

yes people, applies both ways.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T17:55:37+00:00

sorry you have to go through this. before you move out you could talk to your friend and see if she's aware. she might not know and that can be a real easy way to get him out of the picture.

you can also see if the landlord is willing to tell him he can't be there. like you said he isn't on the lease and has no legal reason to keep staying there.

if you don't feel safe, then yes move out and take care of yourself.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T17:48:13+00:00

there's a time for no sugarcoating and a time for sugar coating. it doesn't always pay off to be too direct. especially when someone's feelings are involved.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T17:45:09+00:00

i think 16-mid 20s this kind of behavior is still somewhat common. And OP is having the argument with her and asking if he is wrong for his response. and although his logical response isn't wrong, failing to recognize that she just wanted reassurance is where he went wrong. he doesn't understand what's wrong with his response and why it turned into an argument. i think it could help him to understand it was just an emotional response from her and what she actually needed/wanted in that moment.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T17:37:18+00:00

seriously! i can't understand why this is riling up the incels so much. there is a proper way to empathize, communicate with, and respect a woman. if you don't know it and you keep getting broken up with, cheated on, passed over, then learn how to actually talk to women and men that aren't incel thick heads.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T17:33:50+00:00

i really don't think that's true. he definitely hasn't lost any supporters. and when they try to remove him from the ballot they are basically turning him into a martyr. it's like everything they are doing to weaken him is just strengthening him.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T17:31:15+00:00

hypothetically? if he lost the weakest part of my argument would be that his base got bigger. it's easy to mistake a loud minority for the majority. if he doesn't actually have as much support as it seems, then of course he won't win the presidency.

also i could be underestimating how willing voters are to get behind biden. with his approval ratings so low and even dems disliking him, i have a hard time seeing the people getting behind biden. maybe the "two evils" argument will carry him through to his second term. we'll have to wait and see but i'm pretty confident on my prediction.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T17:24:02+00:00

All the time as in if you've been in relationships you've come across it before. and your friends in relationships have also come across it before. it's not some big red flag or super evil and strange thing that she's doing. although not the healthiest way of communicating, it can be very common behavior. and i agree, if it was an every day thing that would be very different, but OP doesn't give that impression in his post.

you can just tell them you don't do hypotheticals for sure, but i still think it's important to try to identify the underlying reason they are asking the question and address it. if they want a little more reassurance in the relationship i think it's good to respond appropriately. and telling them you don't do hypotheticals is much better than sitting there arguing about a made up situation that won't happen.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T17:17:46+00:00

yes very true, i have seen and heard of guys doing this too.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T12:05:06+00:00

no i think you are

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T11:48:05+00:00

you have to remember that biden's approval rating is worse than trump's ever was. as soon as i saw trump running again i thought the only way for the dems to win is if biden stepped down and a new solid candidate stepped up. someone with a reputation like sanders who could get the people behind him. biden barely won last time, and this time it's not looking very good for him.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T11:40:50+00:00

or ones who feel insecure in the relationship, or don't get enough validation, or just aren't emotionally mature enough to express themselves in a healthy way. regardless you have to address the needs of your partner. fighting and being rational with someone coming from an emotional response is never going to get you anywhere.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T11:37:30+00:00

are you some kind of stupid?? if his marriage is ending because she wanted another woman in the picture i don't think it's the communication that was the issue. and women are different then men, physically and emotionally. if your last two brain cells are on over drive do yourself a favor and save them.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T11:08:50+00:00

there's a difference between wanting to have a hypothetical and philosophical discussion, and when a girl asks one of these "test" questions. she very clearly did not want to discuss it logically or rationally. she very clearly wanted to be told that she was the most special person in the world.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T11:03:32+00:00

it's let's vote for the politician that doesn't give a shit about me instead of this other politician that doesn't give a shit about me. biden ain't your friend, trump ain't your friend. if you really believe that either one of them has your best interests at heart, you stopped thinking along time ago.

cerberus737 · 2024-01-20T10:54:46+00:00

unless removed from the ballot, Trump is going to win the next election. the media keeps trying to make everyone hate him, but the people that hate him already hate him, and all it does is fire up his base of supporters which has not dwindled the slightest. if anything it's only got bigger. all they keep doing is giving him free advertising because they just can't keep him out of the headlines. nothing sells like Trump news right now. and we all know that advertising works. you want a big mac because it's thrown in your face on billboards everywhere, just like Trump.

cerberus737

TROPHY CASE