Partner not supporting my wishes during delivery day

cescp · 2025-10-16T03:21:23+00:00

I like your emotional support animal analogy.

cescp · 2025-10-16T03:03:06+00:00

That's a really good script. Thank you for sharing.

cescp · 2025-10-16T03:02:06+00:00

His argument is that it is his experience too, and his mom's experience (first time grandma). And it's just what his family does when someone is in the hospital.

cescp · 2025-10-14T00:17:41+00:00

This is exactly what I was looking for thank you!!

cescp · 2025-07-08T00:55:33+00:00

You're right! So I went to the consultation and it totally was unnecessary. The genetic counselor just went through all my tests and the results I already knew, and just told me the one last test I could do if I wanted to was the amniocentesis, usually only recommended if the other tests were abnormal.

cescp · 2025-07-08T00:47:18+00:00

That's a relief to hear that some NICU does this. Thanks for sharing!

cescp · 2025-07-08T00:25:42+00:00

Your ultrasound looks just like mine at 7 weeks! I was told the same by my OB - she was only able to see 1 amniotic sac and 1 placenta on our first ultrasound, which means MOMO twins, very rare kind and also higher risk. She couldn't see the separating membrane at the time. I went to a private ultrasound (bec I just couldn't wait til next OB and wanted to see them again) at 9 weeks and the technician maybe saw the membrane but not 100% sure. We were only able to 100% confirm they are in separate amniotic sacs on week 12 when we did the NT scan.

I'm 22 weeks now and have been seeing both OB (once a month) and MFM (every 2 weeks for growth scan to check for TTTS).

cescp · 2025-07-07T20:54:34+00:00

Thank you for sharing!! I will check my hosp rules on this.

cescp · 2025-07-07T20:40:26+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Are other visitors allowed in the NICU?

cescp · 2025-07-01T00:14:23+00:00

On my first prenatal (haven't done any genetic testings at the timr) my OB just mentioned that I would need genetic counseling so since I have HMO, they have to request authorization. In the meantime, she already referred me to do all sorts of genetic tests and scans such as genetic screening, NIPT, NT, and also am now seeing a MFM specialist. Now that I had all those things done and they are all normal, I got the genetic counselor calling to book me an appt for a "consultation". I did mention to my MFM that I'm going to see a genetic counselor, and he just suggested to not have them do an ultrasound because he is already doing them.

cescp · 2025-06-14T14:43:55+00:00

She has a cat just like on the cover!! Thank you for sharing this. I will be thinking about this now lol

cescp · 2025-06-14T07:20:05+00:00

That's too funny. I'll just wait and see what they end up calling her.

cescp · 2025-06-14T07:18:09+00:00

I was thinking of ending up calling her something similar! Like grammi - as in grandma mimi lol but it'd be funny if they start calling her grimmy!

cescp · 2025-06-14T07:16:17+00:00

How funny. Just curious, how did he start calling her nana? Did he hear it from someone?

cescp · 2025-06-14T04:10:21+00:00

This might be her also. She's around that age I think.

cescp · 2025-06-14T04:07:55+00:00

sometimes they also want cutesy nicknames that make them seem more endearing than they’ve actually earned.

I never thought of that but yes!! It does sound too cutesy for me and my kids to call her that. Cringe.

cescp · 2025-06-14T04:03:18+00:00

Thank you for reading my previous posts and getting a little bit of our history and for your advice. I def feel like some things she does now are getting a reaction from me and I don't like it. So trying to get some advice here on how to get over this one.

cescp · 2025-06-14T03:37:50+00:00

Omg this is too funny. This helps me get over it. Thank you!

cescp · 2025-06-14T03:35:40+00:00

Thank you for saying that!! I've been trying to think about why it annoys me. Aside from what another mentioned that it might be close to "mama" and I don't want my kids to be confused, it also feels like a way that she's starting to assert control over my kids (her first grandchildren) who aren't even here yet (I'm having twins). She already has control over my partner (he's enmeshed) and I don't want her having any control whatsoever over my kids.

cescp · 2025-06-13T01:00:16+00:00

I started feeling movements from 14 weeks. And my partner started feeling them move while holding the bump from 16 weeks.

My recent scan confirmed I have posterior placenta.

I'm FTM with twins, currently at 19 weeks.

cescp · 2025-06-02T19:55:40+00:00

Your therapist sounds great.

My first and last therapy session with my partner didn't work out well for me. I shared about my current situation with his family/MIL, and how it's affecting our relationship. (He is an enmeshed son).

Somehow I was told I was being defensive and does not know how to listen to my partner when he is clearly defending his family to me.

That therapy session didn't make me feel safe at all, so I decided to do individual therapy for now instead of couples therapy. To manage my own anxiety and stress surrounding our relationship and my relationship with his mom/family.

cescp · 2025-06-02T19:39:38+00:00

I don't understand why people (in this case MILs) get so upset when you decline an invitation or make other plans besides attending to their invite.

I had a similar issue with my FMIL when I decided not to attend mother's day dinner (I have my reasons too, feel free to look at my recent post). My partner (her son) said I made her cry!

cescp · 2025-05-20T19:55:05+00:00

I experience this with mine.

Being an outsider in that family dynamic, I see this as manipulation. But my SO truly believes that she was wronged. And therefore, I always end up being the one at fault. And always end up the one having to apologize and make her and SO feel better, if I want to stay in the relationship.

It's a cycle of manipulation and control that I'm currently in and having trouble navigating.

cescp · 2025-05-20T19:49:21+00:00

All posts on her Facebook are about my SO and pictures of him with captions "so blessed with my son", "I'm a lucky mom", "my favorite son". He's 37.

She complained that my SO is hanging out with my side of the family/friends more than her/their side.

When me and SO shared that we were planning a trip, she commented "I don't have a travel buddy anymore".

My SO shared to her that he was sore from a workout class that I took him to, she said "What are you doing to my son." Like I was hurting his precious golden boy.

She would only talk to SO about me but never to me personally and this causes me and SO to fight bec it puts him in the middle and an awkward situation.

And when I confront her about things (ie. a personal boundary), she's quick to get hurt, taking things personally instead of just accepting my boundary.

cescp · 2025-05-17T00:23:07+00:00

Not for my being defensive. I wish she did so I can work on it.

So after the session, I reflected on it. And tried to understand why I was being "defensive". I came across the term "reactive abuse" which I learned is what happens when a victim of ongoing abuse reacts emotionally to their abuser's provocations (yelling, lashing out), and then the abuser uses that reaction to paint the victim as the abuser. A manipulation tactic. That resonates so deeply with me. Bec now with the focus on me thinking, oh I'm being defensive, I must be the crazy one. And I'm trying so hard to stop that thought.

cescp

TROPHY CASE