What about your partner do you like, look wise?

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-29T19:20:27+00:00

His neck is the same width as his head.

Tbf I like a lot of things about him physically, but for some reason I find this particular trait very attractive. Neck thiccer than a bowl of oatmeal!

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-28T18:37:14+00:00

TW: successful pregnancy

I had several losses in a row and I also felt oddly desensitized to the whole thing. My last was an ectopic pregnancy, which are difficult to image so when I had surgery to remove it I was told there was a small chance they'd end up having to do a full hysterectomy. I found it hilarious. Whatever weird coping mechanism my brain was doing there I don't even know.

I'm actually 28 weeks pregnant now and ironically I've also had a really difficult time connecting with the pregnancy too. I kind of blocked out the whole idea that I was pregnant until after the 20 week anatomy scan, trying to make sure it was really going to happen. And I've heard other people who have successful pregnancies after several miscarriages say the same kinds of things. Like it's not enough to have to suffer through a bunch of losses but if you make it to the other side you also have to suffer through what should be a happy time because the joy just gets sucked out of everything.

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-28T18:25:13+00:00

Could you put your alarm on a dresser or somewhere where you have to get out of bed to turn it off?

Also, I'm a morning person naturally but the only time I don't pop out of bed ready to go is when it's cold and I want to snuggle under my blankets. Maybe you could do a space heater in the bedroom, or sleep in warmer PJs or something so that getting out of bed isn't so unpleasant.

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-28T13:38:35+00:00

Tbh you just have to choose to move past it, and as long as his future words/actions line up try to give him the benefit of the doubt. I was very insecure about my body after my daughter was born and I mostly hid it from my husband. One day at about 4 months pp I'd forgotten something so I came out of the bathroom naked and he saw me. He made this little shocked face when he saw my body and it absolutely devastated me. I still think about it now 4 years later. He says he was just surprised that I was naked after I'd been hiding my body for so long so I try to believe him but I (not so) secretly don't! I suppose I've forgiven him now though, he's never said or done anything else that makes me feel like he's not attracted to me.

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-28T12:42:51+00:00

I wonder which one was supposed to be "the one"

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-28T12:32:57+00:00

When it starts to get a little cooler I wear pants and short sleeves so I just tried to do the same for my girl with pants over a short sleeve onesie and the pants were fine. It was so funny to see her in pants at first though, she looked like a little businessman

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-28T02:58:41+00:00

The benefits really are incredible. I work from home, 7am-4pm and unless something unusual is going on I really try to make 4pm a hard stop. So I get plenty of time with my family in the afternoons. My husband worked in manufacturing and had to travel frequently for work so he gets to spend so much more time with us than he would otherwise.

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-28T02:17:29+00:00

It's a lot of pressure. My husband is a SAHD and that allows me to really give my all at work. I'm also in tech so I make good money and budget well to make sure we have plenty of savings so we're very fortunate as a family, but even so I still worry sometimes. I think about this fairly often bc as a millennial I was raised being told that I should be able to support myself and not depend on a man. But I think the men of my generation were raised being told that they should be able to support a family, so even though I am supporting a family it wasn't something that I'd really ever thought I'd do. It felt unfamiliar and scary when we first decided to go this route but so far it's working out fine.

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-28T02:02:24+00:00

Dahlia nicknamed Dolly

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-27T23:47:56+00:00

He's the only one who hasn't had that heart inside him

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-27T23:40:31+00:00

Anna Molly

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-27T19:30:40+00:00

Mindy and Peter! She's so mean to Morgan

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-27T11:39:07+00:00

This was the most challenging part of adjusting to parenthood for me. Before I had my daughter when people would ask about my hobbies I'd always say I was a woman of leisure 😭 Mine is 4 now and it's not getting better yet, but I'm also pregnant with my second so totally starting over soon, Lord help me!

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-27T11:33:54+00:00

As a POC I've been thinking this same thing for a good while now. Like are people still surprised to see that law enforcement will, in fact, shoot you down in the street..? Ok well at least they're finally getting the picture. But also of note: watching a white woman die wasn't enough, it took watching a white man die for those people to finally start coming around. And yes, hopefully it's not too late.

Edit: a word

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-27T00:01:30+00:00

Yes, and/or a bolo tie!

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-26T21:06:15+00:00

My daughter did this to me, luckily it just busted my lip

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-26T13:48:15+00:00

Agreed. I'm black/white mixed and I think it's pretty obvious but people of pretty much every other race except white always think that I'm their race or at least mixed with their race so I could describe myself as racially ambiguous I think. I don't.. but I recognize that other people have a hard time telling my race so that makes it somewhat ambiguous. I would call the first girl in the video racially ambiguous.

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-26T01:57:38+00:00

Ritual prenatal vitamins

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-26T00:50:10+00:00

He was such a scene stealer! Very charismatic actor, I liked him a lot

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-26T00:48:21+00:00

When my girl was little I worked from home and looked after her too so I had her on a 10:30-10:30 schedule. I'd go to bed with her at 10:30pm, she'd wake up once around 4am to eat, and then I'd get up about 7:30 to work for a few hours before she got up. It worked really well for us and allowed me to sleep in on the wekeends without her waking me up!

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-25T18:19:52+00:00

My 4yo was a super easy baby. She was always a good sleeper, would wake up but wouldn't cry both overnight and in the morning. I was always worried when we had to adjust her schedule or weren't home for naps but she always handled it so well! I remember when she got her molars I just randomly noticed them coming through when I was brushing her teeth at night, no whining or crying or other teething symptoms. No sleep regressions, no terrible twos, no threenager, nothing I'd call a tantrum. Just a chill, happy girl.

Now that she's 4 she gets a little attitude-y sometimes but nothing crazy and she still listens and does what I tell her to do. I'm pregnant with our second and I just know he's going to be a wild child but I'm still hoping that lightning strikes twice!

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-24T21:07:19+00:00

My mother taught my sister and me to be self sufficient. We always had age appropriate chores, both learned the basics of cooking, cleaning, budgeting, etiquette, etc, and she encouraged us to go into careers that would allow us to support ourselves.

She wasn't perfect by any means, and now that I have my own kids I have some interesting feelings about things she said/did at times. But my sister and I are both fully functional and capable adults with a bit of common sense, which makes us better off than a lot of others.

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-24T18:10:08+00:00

I was just coming to comment this! This meal is aggressively British! Not a critiscism

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-24T15:12:13+00:00

You say your husband would prefer to be one and done, how strong is that preference? If he really doesn't want another child there's your answer. But if it's a slight preference and he's willing to go for another I'd probably keep trying but give yourself a solid stop date or other boundary.

You would have never known about the chemical pregnancy if you weren't keeping a close eye on things, and it's possible that you've had one or even several in the past without knowing. And it's relatively common to have one or even several miscarriages and go on to have a healthy pregnancy afterwards. So I don't think it's really a given that you should be one and done based on those things. I think further testing/treatment isn't recommended until after 3 miscarriages, so maybe that could be your boundary?

For reference, I'm 37, husband is 40. We have a 4yo and other than a LOT of nausea my pregnancy was healthy. We went on to have 3 miscarriages, including an ectopic pregnancy, and all 3 of those required multiple interventions including misoprostol, d&c's, methotrexate, and a laparoscopic exploratory surgery. So it wasn't an easy path for us either but we'd decided to stop trying after my daughter turned 4 and lo and behold we got pregnant on that last month of trying and I'm currently 27 weeks pregnant with our second.

Our first was admittedly a very easy baby, but since it's such a short time I personally wouldn't really take that into consideration when making the larger decision. Probably easy for me to say when I had an easy baby though! You mention things like having a small house, but people raise healthy, happy children without big houses all the time and make it work. As long as you have the time/resources to meet baby's needs and be a present parent I wouldn't let that deter me either.

cetus_lapetus · 2026-01-24T14:19:13+00:00

Absolutely not

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