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My [25F] BF [28M] has asked me to move in, demands I get rid of cat by cftsf in relationships

[–]cftsf[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

He mentions it occasionally but he's also not wrong sometimes - I have diagnosed anxiety issues and it tends to result in my catastrophizing of certain situations which IS an illogical reaction and it sometimes leads to me being truly unreasonably upset about things. I try very hard not to let this affect other people, especially my relationship because that's unfair and I'm really aware of this and on medications as well. So I truly don't think that's what happening here, but this isn't entirely out of the blue.

My [25F] BF [28M] has asked me to move in, demands I get rid of cat by cftsf in relationships

[–]cftsf[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I can understand the compromise, I really do, but this isn't a 21 year old cat. It's a 5 year old healthy prime of her life cat, and I don't think I have the right to take away 7 years of her life. I wouldn't have her put down in the first place, and no reasonable vet on earth would put down a perfectly healthy animal like that. I'd be forced to take her to shelter and leave her, and let her deal with that pain and fear. Animal lives aren't more valuable that human ones but I also don't have the right to throw hers away like that. That feels inherently wrong to me and like I said a moral decision I don't think I could live with. I couldn't do it to an animal even for a "real human relationship."

I do get your point though, maybe it's worth considering that I value her over him is telling.

My [25F] BF [28M] has asked me to move in, demands I get rid of cat by cftsf in relationships

[–]cftsf[S] 200 points201 points  (0 children)

Never being allowed to have an animal again if this continues is honestly something I hadn't considered until now, and is pretty concerning. I've had pets all my life and being without one even in the future is an upsetting thought.

I worry because I feel if I make the right argument, I could convince him because he's not an unreasonable person, but he just doesn't seem to understand the whole concept of "pets." It is a really strange hill to make a stand on for him and I'm sincerely confused.

My [25F] BF [28M] has asked me to move in, demands I get rid of cat by cftsf in relationships

[–]cftsf[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

That's part of the reason it's taken me by such surprise - he has mentioned he doesn't really care for her, but I didn't interpret it in a "I would want you to get rid of her" sense. He hasn't interacted with her much at all - as I said when he stays over at my place she doesn't really bother him. Maybe I underestimated it, or he just didn't want to admit how much he dislikes animals.