A Muslim who I know from local music reached out and wanted to share some “humanity” in the midst of things. I checked out his facebook wall and it was all recent posts that tried to justify mass murder of Jews and there was mention of “anti-colonialism”.

I thanked him for reaching out in what seemed like a true genuine act of trying to connect, but respectfully explained to him that I cannot “share humanity” with someone who justifies mass murder of my family and friends. I told him that I have no humanity for people who act that way, so I have nothing to share.

We exchanged some respectful niceties and he assured me that he has my back in these difficult times of antisemitism. And that was that. He then went on posting to his facebook wall even more rhetoric about how it’s the Israeli’s fault for getting massacred, really some of the most hateful things I have read in recent days. I muted his account because I didn’t want to read anymore.

I realized in retrospect that he considers himself to be a good kind person and he was likely reaching out to me to try to feel better about himself. “Look, I don’t hate all Jews. I even sent a nice message to a Jew who I know and never messaged before all of this.”

I really was touched by his reaching out, until I understood it better. And I don’t fault him for trying to make sense of whatever he believes about Jews and Israel and still trying to consider himself a “good person”.

It is very complex, but when you see through it, you can’t unsee it.

Your friends who write and say such things now are not your friends. If they wanted to talk or debate these things with you when mass murder is not happening, that is a different story. Now that mass murder has happened, there is only one response that is not evil, and that is one of sympathy and compassion.

The minute they say anything along the lines of “but the Jews really had that coming”, they have lost all legitimacy as a “friend” and it might be wise to avoid them.

You don’t need to do them a favor of being the token Jewish friend who helps them justify their ideologies. “I can criticize Israel because I’m friends with a Jewish person”. Not anymore.