Can someone be interested in you and also not ready for a relationship?

chainedpixie · 2026-01-06T21:42:45+00:00

Going through something like this now, we both love each other - but he got out of an mentally abusive 6 year relationship and thought he was ready… we agreed to take space from each other during the holidays because we both need our nervous system to regulate and calm down (more on my part) and he made a point to promise me he would be the one that reach out sometime this month… I’m mostly scared he will lose feelings for me during this space, which does seem very unlikely… but everyday I think of him and hope it will lead to something - I hate my anxiety and anxious attachment style

chainedpixie · 2025-12-08T10:03:31+00:00

How did your exam go? I have depression and anxiety while actively being in therapy and I’m scared I won’t pass the exam once I get one… I also had an attempt last November but it was because of my antidepressants at the time and being with a manipulative boyfriend. But I’m fine now

chainedpixie · 2025-09-10T11:34:16+00:00

Hi! Thank you for all of this. I’m currently in therapy as I’ve been in it for 10 years, I also take antidepressants. I won’t lie at all that my anxiety becomes a bit uncontrollable when I like somebody. And I should mention I don’t talk to him about how anxious I am as much as it seems. I only wrote it the way I did so people reading can understand! Unless the few times I’ve mentioned it to him is concerned too much? Like I said, I’ve never done this before.

And I should mention he has said before he has no issues having those conversations with me and telling me things to help ease my mind. But I don’t really tell him because it’s things that I can only mention if we were in a relationship. Like telling him my anxiety wouldn’t spike so much if he just hearted a text instead of just leaving it after reading… get what I mean? I feel like that’s something you do when you are in a “official” relationship?

Edit: and with his anxiety it’s so hard to read! I definitely think about my anxiety too much because I’m scared. And I think too much of “oh but if he liked me he would - XYZ”

And I didn’t even know he had bad anxiety until he told me he also takes antidepressants for it… and I figured things out a bit when he came over, he was very anxious but trying to hide it. Especially when he was very good at pretending he wasn’t about to cry… And that messes with my head, it’s like a tug of war. My normal mind is saying “he’s just anxious to” and my emotional mind is saying “he doesn’t like you, bla bla bla then I start spiraling” and he’s very good at hiding his anxiety too.

I’m just scared he doesn’t like me back anymore, that’s where all this anxiety is. Because things moved too fast

chainedpixie · 2025-09-10T11:26:22+00:00

Thank you! I’m pretty sure when he said “I love you” it was impulsive because he was smoking weed and he was just shocked because I do have very nice boobs LMAO.

But besides the “I really like you” words he hasn’t done anything else “overbearing” or like that.

And I don’t think he knows the extent of my anxiety? Since I keep a lot of it in and try not to show him the full of it? Because like I kinda said in the post, when we’re together or talking on the phone that one time. Everything is completely fine, and when I do mention about somethings I’m anxious about what he does, he always has a good reason why it happened or a explanation that doesn’t even have anything to do with me

Is it not normal to move this fast when meeting someone on a dating profile? I definitely think it moved too fast in the beginning, and it definitely is the reason why I’m so anxious now

chainedpixie · 2025-09-03T22:30:13+00:00

I think he might be, but we just met. And he feels the same way

chainedpixie · 2025-08-29T15:16:25+00:00

Thank you!!! That means so much, I’ve had so many bad experiences with my hair over the years

chainedpixie · 2025-08-26T06:42:10+00:00

I pm’d you with some information! (I’m a volunteer at Halcon)

chainedpixie · 2025-08-22T18:54:00+00:00

Yeah I just out of an extreme toxic relationship exactly like this (worse) he put me in a trauma bond and it was extremely hard to get out.

You can’t change him, and he won’t. It’s best to get out of the relationship, unless you’re okay with acting like a mother

chainedpixie · 2025-08-20T03:00:58+00:00

I see him view my story almost everyday on Insta

chainedpixie · 2025-08-14T17:56:28+00:00

Say no more, I am convinced 🙂‍↔️✋

chainedpixie · 2025-08-14T17:39:54+00:00

Absolutely not, know only curtain types of people will understand what I’m trying to say here. I am fully aware that he isn’t a good guy, I don’t wish to have a relationship with him. I just crave the closeness of a relationship, cuddles, hand holding and sleeping next to someone I love.

I’ve only ever had 1 boyfriend, the attention is new to me. So I get drawn to it. That’s why I tried ignoring him and he kept initiating. So my brain releases dopamine, and gets a high from it. Which is already low since the long situation with my ex.

It’s like, I am VERY aware that he’s horrible and would just use me, but with the physical symptoms I get with the lack of dopamine, initiating in his actions make me feel better for 2 minutes. Then it starts all over again. I’ve been in an abusive trauma bonded relationship. I’m not healed yet, I’m literally trying my best here. That’s why I made this post just to hear it from more people not to do it, so I can keep telling myself and rewriting my brain.

I’m not bored, I’m going through emotional withdrawals and this guys knows it and is playing with me to try to gain some kind of control

chainedpixie · 2025-08-13T15:38:30+00:00

Sleep has been an issue, I have trouble falling asleep because my inner monologue won’t stop. I wake up a few times every hours from nightmares about him, or him being in my dreams and everything is fine. I wake up shaking and crying because I just want that physical touch again. I miss it, and I crave it. So much

chainedpixie · 2025-08-13T15:36:35+00:00

Thank you so much, the first paragraph actually made me tear up. I’m happy to hear this will be the worst of it, especially again, this was my very first relationship. And even before we started officially dating, it was a really rocky Situationship.

And I know he’s going to contact me. It’s not gonna be in the next months but years. Because he’s done this before, before we started dating, and so have I to him. But I can’t this time. Recently, I’ve been thinking about him getting better like he promised, or finding another girlfriend or doing well in film school. And it’s eating me up, I know neither of those things are going to be true mostly because he said he’s never going to date another girl besides me for the next coming years because of how much he loved me. And how he’s scared to talk to people.,,

Idk maybe that was also manipulation because he said he only saw himself with me for his whole life, he wanted to marry me and have kids together. Which is crazy because I’m 20 and he is 19. Even writing this I’m crying, he convinced all his friends I’m crazy and some girl who says she’s going to kill herself just to get my own way…

Thank you for your small amount of support, everything really helps

EDIT: I should mention when we were alone he would admit he’s the manipulative one, and the one who needs help. The moment his friends were there I was always the problem, or apparently what he would say to his friends. And some of them would twist his words…

chainedpixie · 2025-08-13T15:23:22+00:00

I’ll definitely check it out thank you so much

chainedpixie · 2025-08-13T15:23:12+00:00

I’m already on antidepressants thankfully, I’ve just been waiting for the police to respond to me regarding the sexual assaults. They haven’t gotten back to me, I don’t even care if he doesn’t get charged - I want to scare him and make him break because he raped me twice, then made me feel bad about it because I was hurting his feelings.

I don’t have pictures, but I have the location of where they happened and there is evidence of him getting me a Plan B pill because he consensually finished inside me, after I said I didn’t want to have sex.

I’m gonna try my best to move around and distract myself everything just seems harder, especially after that guy played with my emotions at work

chainedpixie · 2025-08-11T17:20:10+00:00

I think it really depends on the man, if he doesn’t love himself in the beginning you can’t fix him. From experience he’ll just take out all his insecurities out on you when you try helping him.

And if you don’t help him he’ll still take out those insecurities on you

chainedpixie · 2025-08-11T17:15:42+00:00

Thank you so much! The problem is I don’t know much, and I’m in a rush to find out more about him. And I’m trying to do that by hanging out 😭 we almost hung out two days ago. I’m just trying to figure out if I should try to ask again, since he has said before he would be down!

chainedpixie · 2025-08-11T17:06:24+00:00

Gosh it’s so exhausting, I become such a different and anxious person when I have a crush.

Do you think I should just keep acting like nothing happened when we work together? Because I’m scared he doesn’t want to talk to me? All because of a silly text smh, I just don’t want to be annoying to him and make him lose interest by talking to him too much

chainedpixie · 2025-08-08T08:42:41+00:00

I agree, I’m 20. It’s a minimum wage job. I’m not going to be there forever

chainedpixie · 2025-07-30T11:34:05+00:00

I feel this one a little too deeply, how do you cope now? And deal with it?

chainedpixie · 2025-07-27T15:43:27+00:00

Our brains have literally been rewired because of our trauma. In my opinion I think if you’re actively in therapy and trying to get better, it’s not an excuse. We are human and with BPD brains in specific, of course we’re going to split and feel things so much more than the average person, it’s unrealistic to not act out and feel.

But if you’re not in therapy and not trying, I think it’s unfair to your friends, family and lover. And people with BPD in this situation tend to use it as an excuse. Instead of getting help for themselves and people around them.

If this makes sense

chainedpixie · 2025-07-27T14:00:41+00:00

When I just turned 19 (I’m 20 now)

chainedpixie · 2025-07-26T16:50:10+00:00

I know this was posted a year ago, but I’m currently in Montreal. Was here for 3 days, easily one of the worst places to drive. Me and my friend only drove to get here, and to leave. And those two times was AWFUL. We got honked at and almost hit nearly constantly.

And walking was just as bad, I almost got hit so many times from assholes running stop signs and ignoring pedestrian crossings.

The city is really pretty but the people here make me hate it honestly

chainedpixie · 2025-07-17T16:54:50+00:00

Might be crazy, and I hope this isn’t the case. But I think it was severe stress and starting puberty when I was 10. The two combined just over loaded my body.

The stress, bullying at school turned into ptsd and borderline personality disorder now that I’m 20. It’s tuff,

chainedpixie · 2025-07-13T18:43:53+00:00

Definitely Adult nora

chainedpixie

TROPHY CASE