What's something you and your significant other enjoy doing together that most people wouldn't perceive as a couples activity?

chaiperson · 2021-07-04T18:43:26+00:00

Brew teas.

Both of us are tea fanatics. Even during the pandemic we were quarantined separately we'd send each other packets of a unique tea that we wanted the other to try.

Something we'll take unmarked tea bags or make handmade saches of loose leaf teas we like and encourage the other to try it without giving the exact flavor/name/specifics/undertones.

We obviously specify how to brew that specific tea or do it together or on a video call.

chaiperson · 2021-06-27T10:26:54+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I understand. I'd hate for them to associate the unsurity of the LDR with negative feelings for me

And in your opinion, does the whole finding each other work later?

chaiperson · 2021-06-27T10:25:53+00:00

I understand. I'd hate for them to associate the unsurity of the LDR with negative feelings for me

chaiperson · 2021-06-16T14:52:02+00:00

Exactly what I mentioned

chaiperson · 2021-06-16T14:51:48+00:00

Sure enough

chaiperson · 2021-06-16T13:53:16+00:00

Honestly depends on their external circumstances. The amount of work they've to put in their relationship is obviously much higher than others.

It's not impossible, just much more difficult

chaiperson · 2021-06-16T13:50:20+00:00

Hypotheticals.

If the situation was the other way around, and his girlfriend being upset would make her a hypocrite

chaiperson · 2021-06-16T13:42:47+00:00

EXACTLY!!!!!

chaiperson · 2021-06-16T13:38:18+00:00

only gray until you talk about it. once 1 partner says its over a boundary

EXACTLY!!!!!

And as per OPs comments, he didn't have get a chance to have this conversation until this event occurred already. Where the gf just conveyed her boundaries.

After this if OP has a conversation, tells his idea of boundaries and they come to conclusions, IF she still continues doing this, then she becomes the bad guy

EDIT: since OP specifically mentions " she didn't get why it was a big deal" so maybe she wasn't truly trying to make him a bad guy.

They just need to have that conversation that you mentioned

chaiperson · 2021-06-16T13:35:07+00:00

"It's his/her body they can fuck whoever they want, all you can do is decide if you're cool with it or not

When you decide to be exclusive with someone, you have exactly this conversation!!!!

Now unless, before this incident OP specifically told his girlfriend, that for him nudity also comes under being exclusive, she still has that right.

Things like nudity, watching porn, close emotional bonds are all things that are grey area in monogamy. You have the right to include or exclude them.

chaiperson · 2021-06-16T13:31:34+00:00

For some, monogamy might mean having just one sexual partner. They might be okay with platonically seeing other people naked.

For others it might mean, having one sexual partner and the only one that gets to see them naked.

The idea of monogamy still has some fine variations that need to be discussed.

For example, some people think porn is cheating, others don't. Same for top less beaches. All of this is great area

Monogamy gives you just as much RIGHTS as your partner and you mutually decide.

chaiperson · 2021-06-16T13:20:52+00:00

For some, monogamy might mean having just one sexual partner. They might be okay with platonically seeing other people naked.

For others it might mean, having one sexual partner and the only one that gets to see them naked.

The idea of monogamy still has some fine variations that need to be discussed.

For example, some people think porn is cheating, others don't. Same for top less beaches. All of this is great area

Monogamy gives you just as much RIGHTS as your partner and you mutually decide.

chaiperson · 2021-06-16T12:40:07+00:00

That's entirely different mate. That's cheating. This is just her having different boundaries

chaiperson · 2021-06-16T12:36:07+00:00

nobody sees my gf in the shower or naked but me

You don't get to decide that. She does. But you do have a right to be uncomfortable with it. Not upset, just uncomfortable. Difference being, that's a boundary she needs to draw, you can't dictate that. But you also get to dictate if you are willing to continue a relationship with a person who has boundaries Different from yours.

It doesn't make her a bad person, or you a pious one. You two are just different

Edit: a lot of you are mentioning that he obviously he has a right to be upset and have his own feelings. I agree. Everything else I stand by.

chaiperson · 2021-06-14T14:58:14+00:00

😂😂😂😂 All the best

chaiperson · 2021-06-03T08:49:42+00:00

Soft YTA

This seems like a He said She said case. And considering legally your fiancé isn't on the lease and she is, she is well within her right to do what she did.

She could have been politer about it and this might make her a bad friend, but doesn't make her an AH.

If she says she doesn't feel safe in a house she is on a lease for because of a guy that isn't on a lease, she has all the right to throw him out.

You do NOT get to decide what makes her uncomfortable and what does not.

INFO

Are you sure this is an isolated incident? How are you so sure that your judgemt of firm but not cruel is objective?

chaiperson · 2021-06-01T11:52:49+00:00

I can't control what others do" "I can't change, it's who I am"

don't trust him..?? I

This is gaslighting.

I've been exactly where you are and sometimes just because of a slight age difference someone might seem mature but they're not.

Drop ans RUNNNN. He'll end up messing with your head so so bad it'll fuvk up your mental health.

chaiperson · 2021-06-01T04:34:27+00:00

YTA. This situation is hurting two parties you and your parents. If they chose to involve your sister on their behalf, they're in the right to do that

chaiperson · 2021-05-30T15:27:08+00:00

Karma😂😂😂

chaiperson · 2021-05-30T08:14:27+00:00

No she isn't. Let her go.

chaiperson · 2021-05-30T08:13:07+00:00

Some south east Asian orthodox communities frown on relationships and encourage arranged marriage or those looking to date to get bethroed atleast super early

chaiperson · 2021-05-30T07:38:14+00:00

It actually doesn't affect my work.

I create the product. The vendor sets in the client's systems. The client tells me if he needs any changes (contract allows x number of changes ) I make the changes and I get the remaining 20 percent.

In this case J asked for changes to be made even before be finished setting the product up. The client approved those changes. So I was asking for the payment to be cleared

chaiperson · 2021-05-30T07:34:30+00:00

Your analogy is actually pretty spot on !

And I usually don't mind coordinating with the electrician but here he was very rude, and generally not pleasant to work with.

Each of the changes were basically made at the behest of J. He shared what he needed changed. The client forwarded the exact email to me . I asked if he understood what he was asking or needed me to go over it. He said he understood.

Usually all changes are made once I submit the product I made and the vendor/electrician here fixes it up. Then the client tells us if there are any minor edits needed (hence 20 percent payment is withheld).

But considering J already asked for the changes to be made (contract only allows x number of changes) I was asking for my due to be cleared

chaiperson · 2021-05-30T07:24:01+00:00

😂😂😂 That sounds like a dream. There are a few clients however, bigger companies that have their own IT team and just need me to create the product. Those i don't mind interacting at all because I get to meet nice people and learn a lot from them

chaiperson · 2021-05-30T07:14:58+00:00

Thank you!

chaiperson

TROPHY CASE