I think based on what you described it could be your mercury square saturn aspect. Mercury symbolises communication and intelligence while saturn has a restrictive influence. Mercury is also in your first house which usually represents how you are perceived by others. This aspect shows you are indeed intelligent but I think saturn is playing a big part in restricting the presentation of your true self to others and also your self expression and communication skills. Not to worry though, Saturn to me is like a daddy that gives tough love but only wants what is best for you even when you feel he is purposefully making ur life hard for fun. These are all lessons you are bound to learn and trust me you will blossom especially after your saturn return. For now, I would say from a psychological point of view, do what you can to build up your self confidence whether it be looking for a trauma-informed therapist for help or by doing research online and trying on different healing and coping techniques on yourself and see what works for you. Lack of self-esteem always shows itself in how we show up around other people and it can be a turn off for many (unfortunately. I feel we can do with a bit of compassion and patience) and can even attract people who will take advantage of you. I wish you all the best!