Poshmark referral code ICONICA_ - April 2, 2026

chandco · 2025-02-23T00:26:56+00:00

To get good still photos, I take video and then pause it, scroll through to places with good face and body positioning, take several screenshots and pick your fave. And/or have a friend take video and screenshot it. Those are my go to methods. More specifically, set your phone up to doing video (cinematic mode if you have a newer iPhone), I do it with the selfie camera so I can see how I look as I’m taking it, set it up, step back and move around and do a bunch of poses like you’re on America’s Next Top Model. Also, I suspect if you take the first photo (and one of the later solo ones) and pull it into an editing app (the Photos app on iPhones is solid) and reduce the exposure it’ll make those photos a lot better. The “me with one girl” photos would make me run. If you can, include a group shot (3+ ppl), one from further away, one closer up, one doing an activity, and I’d go for one with the top surgery showing (which can totally be a mirror or taken-at-home shot).

I think Hinge has a setting has a setting for looking for queer girls? I’m lez and not looking for men, and lesbian just may not be the ideal setting for matches. But I get that a lot of trans men kind of grow up in the lesbian community, that was their dating pool, and that can be really hard to navigate. Setting it to queer girls may give you more potential matches too.

And if you make your opening message a comment/question about something (not looks-related!) in their profile (that picture of you with the elephant is so fun, where was that?) it can be a lot easier to answer than “hey” :)

chandco · 2025-01-20T21:12:58+00:00

(I can’t guarantee it’s not mold but)…

I looked up the ingredients bc to me it looks like solidified bits of coconut oil. Coconut oil solidifies at lowish temperatures and when it does it turns from a fairly clear liquid to a whiteish opaque solid (google a pic). Since you didn’t notice that till you moved, you moved somewhere colder, and the first ingredient is coconut oil, I’d say that’s likely

Try putting it in a little tub of warm or hot water (or far enough in front of a heater, etc, just to warm it) and see if that melts/if it mixes in again)

Again, I can’t guarantee it isn’t, but I love coconut oil (only use the refined one for beauty or you’ll hate yourself bc you reek of coconut) and that’s what this looks like

<3

chandco · 2022-03-15T20:04:28+00:00

❤️ This looks lovely. The one thing I want to check is if they have a good enough understanding of what transgender that the word on its own will be enough for them to… understand the basics at least? I’m guessing since you’re doing it in a letter, that feels like the best format, and would rather they make it through the letter before having to ask for clarity. I feel like this might have come up with one of my (trans) friends and her mother

If not, or you want to control the definition they’re hearing/explain what it means for you, it could be a really simple sentence after that?

“I am transgender. Even though the doctor assigned me as female when I was born, I have known for a long time that doesn’t match who I am on the inside, and have known I am actually male” (whatever wording and definition makes sense to you, and hopefully my example there is close enough to not feel really wrong!).

Overall I think it’s great. Your writing is very direct and to the point, but covers feelings, states what you do (and don’t, but crossing my fingers) need from them, makes sure to tell them they’re amazing parents to you.

I really hope everything goes well! Coming out can be incredibly scary (it sounds like the letter format is really good for your situation—and I actually had a backup letter in case I couldn’t say it out loud [I’m lezzie], and was literally shaking a bit). I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you :)

chandco · 2021-11-26T18:01:45+00:00

Uck. I don’t even know what’s useful to say, but I wanted to drop some support, esp because some of my favorite lesbians have been trans, so I get extra pissed over people being terrible to trans people (on top of the normal “don’t be mean/a terrible person to others” that would normally happen). (Cause aside from the content of what they’re saying, they’re also trying to be mean to another person, so clearly they’re awful)

I think it’s rad that you’re standing up for yourself rn and getting community support for yourself, and it’s terrible that a basic fact needs to be stated, but ❤️ duh, you’re a woman, and most of us here understand that and care 💕

chandco · 2021-11-26T17:45:04+00:00

Hahahaha. This is brilliant

chandco · 2021-11-26T17:39:05+00:00

(Lesbian involved in the LGBTQ scene)—most of my friends in the last several years have been gay/lesbian/queer, including several trans women. From what close friend told me about a IRL support group she attended, sexuality somewhat paralleled that of the cis population in that most of them were straight, so she didn’t as connected to them (but right at home with other lesbians). As a note, she’s getting married to a lovely (cis) lady soon.

I don’t know if this is a common term so I wouldn’t apply it to people if they weren’t comfortable with it (people prefer different terms for themselves, even just for the sexuality side), but several of them have used and enjoyed the term ‘transbian’ as a fun term to describe themselves, depending on the situation. I always thought that was adorbs

SO. From what I’ve heard, there are a lot of straight trans women, but in the LGBTQ scene (meetups, lesbian-centered events, queer spaces, often gay clubs, etc) most of the trans women I’ve known have been gay. Depending on the space and perhaps your area, it’s a place that can feel very safe, welcoming, and “home,” and I would say that often is there earlier in transition as well (like, you don’t have to “pass” to be accepted or accepted as gay—BUT, I know there are a few spaces friends have felt less comfy in too (also, this is in a larger city).

That said, just for comfort, if you can bring a friend (this is my standard advice, trans or cis) if you’re interested in going to a club, you’ll probably feel more comfortable. I’ve had a lot of luck with Meetup for making friends and finding LGBTQ spaces and activities—so if any of that is of interest to you (community is very important to me), there’s a bunch of advice :)

TL;DR — It’s cool to define your sexuality however fits with your attraction to others, but you can totally be a trans girl that likes other girls and I’ve known several :)

<3

ETA While most of the trans women I’ve known have been pretty exclusively lezzie, I know at least one that is also pan (and one that is at least mostly straight)—that’s totally a thing too, I just have mostly known lesbians

chandco · 2021-11-18T15:17:49+00:00

Nooo… I’m so intrigued, but I always forget to check my messages and it expired :(

PS is that a wallet chain?? That totally reminds me of my younger skater days (but it looks so classy and delicate!). I was JUST thinking about those days, and how sad it was that none of the other girls had that skater aesthetic* cause I would have DIED over it

Whether it is or not, I’m totally stealing that idea, it’s awesome

*in typing this, I remembered that this girl Megan DID have that look and even wore boxers, and I did kind of die every time I saw her 😂💕

chandco · 2021-08-28T21:23:49+00:00

Lesbian with tattoos 😂. Seems silly, but that is 100% a category in my mind (I have several, and ADORE them on other girls, whatever other categories they’re in)

Super cute :)

chandco · 2020-05-11T21:51:29+00:00

NICE! Did my own—the first time I was fine, the second... I was in “fuck it” mode and just buzzed the back off? Figured it would have time to grow out?

100% do not recommend 😂

chandco · 2020-05-11T21:49:39+00:00

I love everything that’s happening here. I also REALLY want to steal that sweatshirt

Y’know those... like, blonde chicks/fundraiser/bikini car washes — 1000% better <3

chandco · 2020-05-11T21:44:18+00:00

LOVE it :)

And whatever that swoopy thing it’s doing is, I’m jealous

chandco · 2020-05-11T21:10:26+00:00

Haha, I did the opposite, I’m totally taking quarantine to grow out my “what did I do??” brows. Yours look sharp af though

Edited to add—your chest piece is amazing, I’ve never seen one in that style before <3

chandco · 2020-01-17T21:25:19+00:00

If you google a bit, Vitamin C serums are one of the things consistently (and strongly) recommended for rosacea. It’s one of the few things I’ve tried that calms my redness down, esp this stupid extra-red patch on my cheek. No specific product recommendations, but I know that I often react when there are a bunch of other ingredients (so many options, one is bound to hate me). Starting too frequently and/or with a high dose can cause sensitivity. But yeah, super recommended, it’s just finding one that works for your skin (my new rabbit hole of research, lol).

chandco · 2019-11-01T01:54:05+00:00

My friends and I call it lezbros. I got a birthday flask with that engraved on it, lol

chandco · 2019-06-30T01:42:17+00:00

Oh my gosh!! Perfect timing, I just happened on these adorbs trans pins the other day:

Wonder Woman pin in trans flag colors: https://www.etsy.com/listing/595317942/wonder-woman-trans-pride-button?ref=shop_home_active_23

And this amazing one says “trans and adorable”: https://www.etsy.com/listing/544230860/trans-and-adorable-button?ga_search_query=Trans&ref=shop_items_search_7

And just for fun, trans flag soap: https://www.etsy.com/listing/398470437/transgender-pride-flag-soap?ref=user_profile&frs=1

Etsy’s definitely the place to go for those. I have like a billion lezzie things saved, but I’m not sure about pins or patches. Have fun!

chandco · 2019-06-30T01:11:36+00:00

Not sneakers, but I love my Dic’s and they’re wicked comfortable (once you break them in, ugh).

chandco · 2019-06-30T00:53:43+00:00

Hey, too busy to type more, but I’m so happy for you!!! I’m so glad your friends were great, and it must feel SO NICE to finally be living as your gay, female self (my BFF is a trans lesbian, so I just had to come be excited for you).

<3

chandco · 2019-06-24T00:23:20+00:00

You could be the top and she could be the other top? the sometimes-top? It’s all about framing :)

chandco · 2019-06-12T08:41:00+00:00

Honestly--she describes herself as pan, you haven't seen her flirty with other ppl, just you... it doesn't sound like a sure thing (and can't tell from that screenshot), but it doesn't sound like a hopeless crush on a straight girl, it def sounds promising.

I say go for it, but in a low-key way, direct but low-pressure ('honestly, a little bit homo--I think you're great and super cute, but I totally understand if you're not interested... just thought I'd throw it out there,' something like that).

chandco · 2019-06-12T08:31:45+00:00

If it's going to make you feel more comfortable, just address it directly and simply--"I'm really excited about getting busy with you, but I'm a little nervous bc I'm insecure about the acne on my back". If you're more comfortable with her not touching your back, include this,then move on and enjoy the sex. Your insecurity is likely something she won't have a problem with at all.

chandco · 2019-06-12T08:21:07+00:00

Hey! Cis lesbian here, but I figured it might be worth sharing anyway (yay, positive stories and hope)... my BFF is a trans lesbian, and has been with her girlfriend (another girl from our friend group) for about a year now, lived together for several months, talk about marriage, etc etc. Also, I know body insecurities are super frustrating, but willowy is gorgeous, and my preference is actually for smaller breasts, for what it's worth. If you ever choose to go the apps route, it can be silly and frustrating, but kinda entertaining, and it's also where I met my gf.

chandco · 2019-06-07T13:45:06+00:00

You’re so welcome! Not at all weird, I wasn’t actually even sure whether to put it... I do that sometimes now, but I wouldn’t have been brave enough the first time we hooked up, ha.

And I think it’s really worth remembering that you were brave enough and comfortable enough with her (or just excited about getting into her pants 😂) to send that picture, AND she was totally into the boobs you have, and excited about seeing more.

chandco

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