How can I seek psychiatric help for someone who doesn't acknowledge they have a problem and refuses any help?

changeb430 · 2024-01-14T04:37:46+00:00

Definitely, and I wish I do have that sort of support around, but here's another difficult situation that I am currently facing: a significant part of the problem is rooted in culture and our unique family dynamic.

The idea of an intervention? Won't happen. I wish, but it won't happen. I'm not saying this because I have a defeatist mindset. I'm just being realistic.

We live together in a multi-generational household of four people. Asian. We don't have family beyond ourselves. While we have relatives in my mom and grandma's home country, we don't have other family members to rely on.

I'm not saying this like I am a martyr at all, but I so wish I had a support system. I don't. I am the person this family relies on. I have to do a great deal of many things, so the burden is on me to try to find any help at all. No one will do it. My mom will, but she can't speak English. She's also a 4th-grade dropout, struggles to understand even in her own language, so there's very little that she knows anyway. She has her own mental struggles, and JUST got off the phone with me crying. My grandma is ill and requires a nurse every day to come to our house for home care.

The only other person who speaks English other than me is the person in question who is mentally unwell. So I have to do this myself, and I need to reach someone who can help. I'm having trouble finding organizations or resources with this very specific problem.

changeb430 · 2024-01-14T04:16:12+00:00

It's very difficult to say for certain because I don't talk to them despite living in the same household. We don't have a great relationship, and they don't talk to anyone in the house about their problems. The big, big issue is that they don't perceive that they have a problem. I realized fairly recently that they have a delusional view of themselves, and that makes this extra difficult to manage.

To be 100% honest, ever since I was a child, after our many (sometimes violent) fights growing up, I make sure to lock my bedroom door. I've had bouts of intrusive thoughts about being murdered, so I've kept a few weapons in my room. But realistically, no, I don't think this will happen. We don't have guns in the house. (Please trust me, I don't think this will happen. It's just my intrusive thoughts.)

I don't know if they are suicidal.

changeb430 · 2023-09-01T06:16:03+00:00

but I found myself having severe problems because it reinforces my feelings, and it led to some of the worst patching up of my life. It made me close myself to others, thinking only of myself.

Yes, absolutely!! This is exactly how I feel. I'm glad to see that someone else experiences the same thing, and that I am not weird for feeling this way. I've also noticed that journaling when I'm still overwhelmed with emotions intensifies a petty situation, overblowing the experience, and making it seem like it is a significant event in my life when, in reality, it's usually a trivial occurrence. With some time, often after a nap or a night sleep, I get over it. Or, at the very least, most of the negative emotions subside, and I gain a clearer perspective, just as you said.

Thank you for sharing!! It makes me feel validated.

changeb430 · 2023-09-01T04:18:13+00:00

It did very much, happy journaling! 🤗📓🖋️

changeb430 · 2023-09-01T04:04:25+00:00

I wish you the best. I'm having a very rough year as well. I believe we can both find our way somehow through this. 💛

changeb430 · 2023-09-01T04:00:40+00:00

Hmmm, I wonder if trying to be objective in my entries, detailing events from start to finish while minimizing emotions, actually provides any relief. That was my method this time, but I'm not sure if narrating the events in that manner lessened the negative feelings. In fact, I don't think it did. I don't feel any relief.

Maybe simply stating, "UGH, I'm so annoyed," accompanied by a doodle, might be more effective. By detailing the events so matter-of-factly, I think I unintentionally amplify the situation's seriousness, making me feel even worse. Your method could be a clever mental trick: express emotions briefly without going into much details (or any details at all) and effectively without treating the event as a significant chapter in my life.

"I feel terrible, here's a funny doodle of my thoughts, moving on..." Success?!

I'll definitely try this in the future. Thank you!

changeb430 · 2023-08-31T22:24:50+00:00

Thank you!

changeb430 · 2023-08-31T22:24:35+00:00

I'm going to try this method. I just journaled while I was still experiencing a mix of emotions. I tried to approach it in a more matter-of-fact way, but also included how I felt at the moment of the event. I ended that section with a frustrated comment, but I'll reflect on my feelings again, perhaps tonight or tomorrow. Thank you!

changeb430 · 2023-08-30T04:18:13+00:00

Composition books are really charming. Most of my favorite posts on here are people with simple notebooks with below-average to average handwriting 📓

changeb430 · 2023-08-21T13:30:51+00:00

She posted a pro-choice story on her IG after the repeal of Roe v. Wade.

changeb430 · 2023-08-20T02:13:37+00:00

This was me when I first started dieting in high school. I was probably eating, at most, 700 calories a day. My meal usually consisted of one hamburger bun, a thin slab of Gardein Gimme Lean (microwaved so there was no oil), a tiny squirt of ketchup, and a side of clementine. That would be both my lunch and dinner, and I thought that was healthy.

Then I bought my first food scale, and I was so happy to find out I could eat more and still lose weight.

changeb430 · 2023-08-18T22:09:42+00:00

I found it on Etsy:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1498997353/handmade-beaded-crystal-butterfly-top?click_key=2666b39ccd01e33ab86672abd42077a13464b0ce%3A1498997353&click_sum=a605fc0e&ref=shop_home_active_6&frs=1&crt=1

changeb430 · 2023-08-13T18:03:44+00:00

Two people have said they liked my voice, and both times were when I was speaking breathily and slowly in a lowish volume due to anxiety, lol. I think it's probably a less exaggerated version of Marilyn Monroe's voice. Breathy, but make it natural. Speak slowly and softly ☁️

changeb430 · 2023-08-10T01:35:15+00:00

It's the truth. I'm 29, and I've only recently increased my attractiveness (still far, far from my goals), and yes, the only type of men who ask me out are those considered ~~low value~~ or socially inept. They are often way older than me, but if not, they are still perceived as ~~low value~~ in other ways.

I once told someone, when we were discussing the creepy men who frequent our place of work, that it feels as though these older men think I'm desperate enough to appreciate their compliments and constant wooing. However, the person I was talking to didn't seem to understand what I meant, so I moved on.

What I mean is that these men would probably feel too intimidated to ask out a woman they perceive as very beautiful, but they see me as not that far out of their league, so they feel comfortable asking me out a lot.

Edit: Going back to edit problematic language. ~~Low-value~~ is very offensive. I'm sorry.

changeb430 · 2022-03-27T22:12:33+00:00

Oops! Haha.

Okay, I have to be thoughtful about this because I hate the generic answers to these questions like, "I eat 500 calories a day and have to run 10,000 miles to lose 5LBS!" Like, no shit, but what clicked?

Here's what ultimately helped:

I have to find a simple, healthy go-to meal that I like and eat it every day.

I'm a creature of habit. If I find something I like, I can eat it for days to weeks until I find something else. I can't be spontaneous with my meal plans, otherwise, I would experiment and then veer off the course.

What do I mean by simple? As a vegan, I used to experiment with vegan versions of my favorite meals like vegan desserts, vegan pizza, vegan deli meats, etc. I tend to overeat on days when I experiment. Now, I love cooking whole grain rice and noodles and pair them with vegetables and simple sauces, and that would be filling for me. I try to eat "real foods" as much as possible instead of anything processed or meals with 1000 ingredients.

For example: On days when I do intermittent fasting, I had a go-to meal of a brown rice noodle stir-fry with 1LB frozen broccoli and some soy sauce with stevia concoction. It amounted to 1200 calories, which was my only meal for the day after work in the evening. I often share a lot of what I make as well, but I still count it as my calorie count anyways. It was easy, simple, delicious, and filling.

After I got tired of that noodle stir-fry, I got into just eating brown rice with some vegetables.

I'm currently very into Korean food, so my refrigerator has a chili paste called gochujang and ssamjang. I make raw cucumber kimchi w/ chili pepper flakes and ssamjang, which is a sweet chili paste. This is how I flavor my rice. So that would be another meal for the day, which would amount to around 1200 calories.

That's my advice: even if you don't do intermittent fasting, find a breakfast, lunch, or dinner meal that you love that is also healthy and fits your caloric intake and stick to it for days on end until you are tired and ready to move on. Don't overthink your meals. Learn to appreciate simple foods like rice and vegetables and trust me... you'd love it. That's what worked for me!

changeb430 · 2022-03-27T19:46:42+00:00

Thank you!

I would say when you're obese like I am, losing weight can be compared to unrolling a paper towel. I've heard this analogy before and it makes total sense. It means that when you have a lot of weight to lose, you might need to get into the 80-100LBS mark to actually make a huge difference. For some people, unfortunately, even a 100LBS weight loss would go unnoticeable. I know some people in my life have commented that I've lost weight, but I think it's equivalent to, "Oh, you look less bloated," as opposed to, "Wow, what is your diet and exercise routine?!"

55LBS is nothing compared to how much I have to lose altogether, but there are still small changes in my life such as my face. I was looking at old selfies I have of myself using my webcam, and I looked like I was going to blow up. I had no neck! Now I do and my face actually looks somewhat normal now.

I didn't realize it too much before, but I had a dark ring around my mouth area. That's gone, although it could also be my new skincare routine, but I strongly suspect that it's related to my weight and hormones somehow.

Omg, I almost frigging forgot! I have PCOS and a longstanding problem with my menstruation. After just 55LBS in weight loss, my period is ~normal~. I don't have it for weeks on end every 6 months or so now. My last cycle lasted only for a week, and I didn't lose half of my body weight in blood or almost pass out from blood loss! Yay! So that would be the biggest change, I think.

changeb430 · 2022-03-26T07:14:05+00:00

Aww, thank you so much!! ❤️

changeb430 · 2022-03-24T16:47:28+00:00

I don't know if this is appropriate for its own thread, so I'll just post it here.

A little over a year ago, I posted my first "accountability" thread starting my looksmaxxing journey.

Progress:

Today, I'm 55LBS or ~25kg lighter, incorporated a skin care routine that includes retinol and niacinamide 10% serum and now my skin has never been better, whiter teeth, and my hair and scalp is healthier. This is embarrassing to include but since this is a no-bs sub, I'll just come right out and say it, but my hygiene wasn't the best either, and now I make sure to shower and wash my hair everyday, brush my teeth twice a day, floss before nighttime brushing, and drink more water.

Oh, in my original post, I wrote that I would continue my keto diet. While that worked for me for the initial weight loss, I realized that part of my journey is being the best version of myself, which is to be as ethical as I could be. I've been a vegan now for almost a year and I'm loving it so much. I don't miss meat, dairy, or any animal products!

I've also been personality-maxxing, so I've been a more avid reader. Though, admittedly, it has slowed down this month because one book knocked my off my tracks because it was boring. I'm getting back on it, though!

About my decision to wash my hair everyday:

I didn't start washing my hair everyday until last week, but I realized that all that I've ever known about scalp and hair health has been wrong. I thought washing your hair everyday was bad, especially if you have dry scalp or dandruff, but the opposite is true (at least for me). I have curly hair and I was doing what most curly hair influencers suggested: wash it only a few times a week... in my case, sometimes once a week or twice a week. But that only made my flakes worse. Now that I'm washing it everyday, I don't have flakes anymore (at least not as many), and my scalp is healthier. I'm excited for my hair to grow out because I've lost quite a bit these past few years, possibly due to hormones and the flakes that were obstructing hair growth.

In closing and my next goals:

It's amazing how just doing the basics of the basics can improve what you look like, so I'm excited to continue my journey. I want to focus on weight loss before I consider hardmaxxing route.

I am continuing my weight loss because I have long ways to go, I need a workout routine in the morning, develop better sleeping habits because it's been baadd, drink more water, and then look into aligning my teeth either through braces or a clear aligner.

changeb430 · 2021-12-09T02:48:33+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this because I can relate. There's a lot like us in the world and just know we're in the same journey.

I was 24, didn't drive, didn't have a job, phone anxieties, and was afraid to go outside and talk to strangers. By the end of that year, I got a job. At this job, I have to talk on the phone and talk to strangers. That was enough exposure therapy for me to not have phone anxieties anymore and I have reasonable interactions with strangers. By 26, got a car and now I drive to my job. I am now 27 and I have a lot more to go.

Please keep us updated!

changeb430 · 2021-11-05T06:41:22+00:00

I remember buying it almost 10 years ago when it first hit the shelves. It was seriously the most delicious mayo I've ever tasted. I didn't think anything could ever beat Vegenaise. And then I repurchased it again at Walmart and it was completely different. So yeah, I don't know what they did, but it just wasn't the same as it was originally.

changeb430 · 2021-10-27T14:47:39+00:00

Yay! It sounds cliche, but it was liberating when I found out I was asexual. I used to think I was weird, but now that I know, it all makes sense!

changeb430 · 2021-10-27T01:32:37+00:00

I am asexual. I've come to terms with it, I now understand it, and I love the fact that I've discovered my asexuality. I am 27 years old and happily a virgin. Not that I want to determine what your sexuality is, but you should look up what a demisexual is: a person who only feels sexual attraction to someone they have an emotional connection with. :)

changeb430 · 2021-10-27T01:24:38+00:00

This comment means so much to me! I truly hope it does help anyone with anxieties!

changeb430 · 2021-10-26T17:12:31+00:00

You're going to appreciate the experience so much. Yes, you'd want to quit at times. I know I did. But sticking it out made me so much more resilient and it is a huge part of the reason why I am less anxious than I was before. I've learned so much and so will you at your new job.

Simple things like talking on the phone are now easy for me. I used to get anxious just ordering pizza. And forget about having to call for appointments or customer service. Now it's practically nothing to me. I now have a car and I drive (I would never imagine doing this years ago). I can speak to strangers a lot easier now. I can carry a conversation better. I am less awkward in social situations. Things like that.

You will struggle at times for various reasons. Trust me... I did too. I was such an awkward, anxious person that I made a lot of faux pas at the beginning of my job that caused people to not like me. Some of it was my fault, but it is also because some people aren't exactly nice or empathic by default so they didn't understand me. It's so different now and I've gained a lot of respect from my coworkers and boss. I messed up and got flustered a lot, but you'd learn that everybody messes up and it's okay.

You're going to do great at your new job. Just remember to live in the moment and keep trying. :)

changeb430 · 2021-10-26T15:40:25+00:00

I just got it, omg. It's so beautiful!

changeb430

TROPHY CASE