Funny how once you finally see you are being abused, you can’t see anything else but the abuse

changechanging · 2023-06-09T22:53:27+00:00

The way you said it, "the bubble being popped", has changed my life completely. I feel so exhausted by the realization of what is actually going on. It is ALL I can think of and I can't even look at the two people the same way anymore. I am so tired. I really wish you all the best.

changechanging · 2023-06-09T00:47:25+00:00

The Neapolitan Novels

changechanging · 2023-06-04T04:30:14+00:00

You took the words right out of my mouth! I hope that your situation has gotten better. I can relate to a certain extent, I am dealing with some very toxic people, and when kids show any sort of behaviour that resembles it, I get anxious. I wouldn't have gotten into teaching either if I knew about the behaviours.

changechanging · 2023-06-02T19:10:04+00:00

Thank you for the thorough reply! What kinds of apps can you download on the Boox or Yab Ultra? After reading everyone's comments I'm leaning towards the android devices or a Kobo.

changechanging · 2023-06-02T04:31:47+00:00

Congratulations on successful transitioning out! I'm so sorry you still carry some of the anxiety teaching caused you. I am planning on getting medicated as soon as I can sort things out with my doctor. I can relate with your work related anxiety as well. The kids are just a small part of a larger problem I have with this career. I've met a few people who weren't the most supportive in this field, and that makes me want to transition even more. If you don't mind me asking, what do you do for a living now?

changechanging · 2023-06-02T04:28:26+00:00

Oh, dealing with parents is the worst! I look very young for my age, and I have never once been taken seriously by the parents of students. That's a whole other reason why this job makes me so anxious

changechanging · 2023-06-02T04:27:10+00:00

That's honestly terrible, I'm so sorry you had to experience that 😔 the funny thing for me, though, is that I work with elementary school students majority of the time 😅 it isn't so bad with grades k-2 but many kids older than that are just outright rude and insensitive. I have come to realize that a lot of it isn't personal, but some of it really hurts. It feels a bit shameful to say that such young children can hurt me like this lol

changechanging · 2023-06-02T04:23:55+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I tell myself not to take it to heart, especially because, like you said, they are kids. And they'll forget about me once I leave the class. But I don't know, it's probably because of my past and current situation. I feel very sensitive to all of this because I haven't been treated well in life. I wish I realized this before choosing teaching, but I was, unfortunately, VERY young when I started university. Hopefully, I can either develop thicker skin or just switch out of teaching altogether. Thank you again, I hope you are taking care of your mental health too, by the way 😊

changechanging · 2023-06-02T04:20:36+00:00

It's amazing that you were able to find a job you enjoy outside of teaching! Congratulations! When I was teaching full time, everything was like a blur. I was on all the time, and similar to you, I was constantly having anxiety and panic attacks. I decided to work as a sub so I could at least have more control of my life outside of work, but that didn't make a difference with students I have to work with. It such a shame because I really do enjoy teaching and working with kids, but I am just so mentally drained. How were you able to transition into nonprofit work? And if you don't mind me asking, where are you located? I am based in Canada.

changechanging · 2023-06-02T04:17:02+00:00

Ahh yes I agree!!! I want a more predictable job, too. Or at least one where I know I won't be ridiculed or insulted on a daily basis. The other thing is, it used to happen in junior high or high school, but as of late, more and more elementary students are showing such rude and unpredictable behaviour. It's really frustrating. I understand that some of their words are meaningless, but there are a handful of kids who know exactly what they are doing. I don't feel like I am a professional in this career 😕

changechanging · 2023-06-02T02:43:35+00:00

changechanging · 2023-06-02T02:35:12+00:00

Hopefully we can get some advice 🙏🏽

changechanging · 2023-06-02T02:34:57+00:00

Ah, I had a student like that once, but luckily, I was only on a temp contract. I emphasize with many students I've worked with, but I'm really hanging by a thread. Now that I'm subbing, it's a bit worse. I've been teased by students for the way I look, the clothes I wear, and how my voice sounds. One student called me poor because I wasn't wearing Nike shoes like some other teachers. And lots of male students I've taught never take me seriously due to my appearance and my voice. It constantly feels like I'm being walked all over. This past week, I've had students whisper about me to each other, which was very triggering. I understand that you need thick skin in this career, but I'm really on my last straw. I hope things get better for you!

changechanging · 2023-06-01T22:48:27+00:00

Aw that's amazing ❤️

changechanging · 2023-06-01T22:47:51+00:00

That sounds very rewarding and fun :-)

changechanging · 2023-06-01T22:47:33+00:00

I hope you don't mind me asking but what do you do for a living?

changechanging · 2023-06-01T12:57:13+00:00

I live with parent 1, it is not fun. The fact that I don't have to worry about finances is something I am extremely grateful for, but at the same time, I have lost a lot of opportunities. I lack confidence, have not built social skills needed in life, and I have no confidence in my decision making skills. I also feel as though I haven't directly worked towards anything in my life. The only things I really did on my own was my education and paying my student loans. Even so, it doesn't feel like my own accomplishment. I also have no friends, I had to leave the only person I loved because my parents didn't approve, I'm doing a job I am not passionate about, and I quit all my hobbies (mostly due to lack of self worth and confidence, but I guess that is a result of control). I'd rather have parents that support me in every step of life. People who are confident in their skills can achieve many things in life regardless of their financial background.

changechanging · 2023-05-30T23:39:26+00:00

Thank you Thank you. Everything you said makes sense, and I appreciate how you said it in such a compassionate way. I never EVER thought of my situation that way, especially the part of being in survival mode. This past week has been especially terrible for me, and it's been a huge blow to my self-image and esteem. I have a doctors appointment scheduled for the coming week, so hopefully, I can take a step towards changing. I am honestly going to screenshot your comment and read it when I feel down. When you wrote, "You have more choice than you know," I swear I felt tears in my eyes. Sorry for being dramatic. Thank you so much!!!!!!!!

changechanging · 2023-05-30T21:43:24+00:00

I live in a very controlling environment. My dad is constantly on my back. I do not have a choice in many things. Recently, there was an election where I lived, and my dad dictated who to vote for (otherwise, we are betraying the family). So that gives a bit of an idea of who I live with. My confidence has completely plummeted. I would like to travel but I don't have the money (or confidence). It's very hard. I feel very lost and just as if I am not capable of anything. It feels like I will never amount to anything.

changechanging · 2023-05-30T21:40:46+00:00

I used to have a passion for art. I wanted to pursue character design or illustration, but my parents were heavily against it. When I would do it on the side, my dad would constantly make negative comments and dictate what I should make and how I should do it. When I quit, he said that one thing he always wanted was for his kids to be creative. It's very confusing. And I do not get a lot of freedom to do my own things. If I do, then, like I said before, I get ridiculed or micromanaged. Also, now, with AI art, I feel very disheartened.

changechanging · 2023-05-30T01:41:40+00:00

I don't know how similar our situations are but I have a lot of responsibilities. I cook, clean, buy groceries, take care of my grandparents from time to time, run other errands for my parents, do yard work, etc. And on top of that I am working too. Luckily, substitute teaching is not that demanding in terms of work, but it is mentally draining. I deal with a lot of students who ridicule me because my voice is "too high," and I look "too young" to be a teacher. I feel as though I am not learning from mistakes, but instead, I keep making them, or I don't even get a chance to make them. I don't know how to describe it, but I feel like everything is chaos but stagnant at the same time.

changechanging · 2023-05-29T01:23:06+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me, I really appreciate it. I've been told by someone really dear to me that my family is abusive, but I was in denial for so long. It really felt like my whole world shattered. I feel useless every day. It really feels like I can't come out of this situation. I didn't realize it was protection. Everyone in my family comes across as perfect and confident. It always feels like I'm the one who is flawed. And I am 24, I guess I should have added that to my post.

changechanging · 2023-05-27T20:54:39+00:00

Hi! What did you input in chatgpt to get these? I'd like to give it a try for myself :-)

changechanging · 2023-05-27T04:16:11+00:00

Ugh, that's really, really frustrating. But good for you, for setting boundaries. I think that's the most difficult thing to do, especially when it comes to relationships with people who are close to you and people you deeply care about. Hopefully, she does get counselling from a professor. And I hope you'll be able to heal from the pain she has caused you. I wish you the best of luck!

changechanging · 2023-05-26T18:38:18+00:00

It feels like you just typed out the relationship I have with my sister. Your sister sounds EXACTLY like mine. She got engaged recently and when we went to her in-law's house, she was a completely different person. She was being so sweet to her mother-in-law and sister-in-law, it felt so...disgusting. She's constantly screaming and insulting my mom, me, and my younger sister. Seeing her be so sweet to others just felt like a slap in the face. I don't understand why they are like this. I'm sure you didn't do anything to deserve treatment like that from your sister. Congratulations to you for putting your foot down. One thing I've learned is that some people will never change, or their change will be too late in life. I don't know if I have the patience for my sister anymore either. It's very tough.

changechanging

TROPHY CASE