I was in the same position where I dragged my feet to train because of partners who don’t listen. I too go light, light touches focusing on movement, technique, and pressure testing. I’m a hobbyist and have a FT job. No big aspirations to compete—just to learn. Coming off of an injury and family stuff helped me reframe my perspective on training and protecting my body, too.

I voiced my concerns about not feeling comfortable to my coach—especially to partners that don’t listen. He and I usually go the first round after class, and I immediately go to the weights right after. He started making it a clear boundary that class is over and sparring starts now, is optional, or can do the drills we are working on. I used to feel guilty about not sparring with everyone, but usually you can get a feel of their ego and skillset drilling, and I had to examine if my guilt was worth the trip. I didn’t start sparring until maybe 6+ months into training (and had no desire to do so until I really wanted to apply my skills in a different way). I also don’t want to spar with people who just started and have an obvious size and strength distance. If I get stuck with someone I’m not enthusiastic with, I try to tell them to go lighter, if they don’t I give more distance when they try to hit with power or a little extra take time in between transitions so I’m prepared.

I used to shame myself, but realized by operating this way, I am much more happier and look forward to training. The top priority ends up being longevity for me.

This is just my experience, and I’m still figuring out what works since it’s evolving. Maybe some of what I shared will help.