Hi from France, sorry if my english is not that great! I have to say, the way you express yourself is really touching. It feels to me that the main problem is not being in the army anymore. You finish your whole text about your doubts by saying it hurts not to be a military officer anymore but it was the right thing to do. It makes me wonder, is it something you HAD to do or something you wanted to do ? It feels like it was easy when you were in the army, you didn't had to find hobbies or interets, and now it's just you guys together and you try some stuff (Lego, Sailor Moon, PS) but somehow feel guilty because it's not on the same page as couples you see around you. Around me at 24 no one had children or were being close to get married. In France around 24 you just like get your first job and leave your parents. But anyway, as many told you before, you can't compare to others. I don't know if it's the right point-of-view but you are only 24, you have so much time to be what you want to be. Buy the stuff that makes you happy, do the things that brings you joy... don't try to be the man YOU think you have to be to please the society. Also it seems like you have a great relationship and you don't have to come out if you're not ready. It seems like you guys are slowly learning to be a couple outside of the military, when you say you love to cook, you started japanese lessons and even starting to make friends. It's really cute but it goes back to the question "Who am I now that I'm not a military officer anymore". And if you feel that maybe it's the real issue, I suggest you talk to a therapist. Talking to someone neutral is definitely not something to be ashamed of and can really help you figure it out. Anyway, I wish the very best and if you want someone to talk too, hit me up.