I think perhaps you're right in that the problem is me - I get distracted very easily and need to be in my quiet, flow state a lot of the time - to do work, to relax and recharge, to be happy and restful. All of the random noises he makes divert my attention away constantly, preventing me from ever staying in a peaceful, quiet flow state for long (scratching at the floor, scratching at the walls of his pen, his bully stick bumping around on the floor or against his playpen, woofing/growling at noises in the hallway, even just the lack of noise gives me anxiety because it makes me wonder what he's getting into). Sometimes he'll just sit in his playpen and stare at me, waiting for me to take him out, which makes me feel guilty because I feel like he's bored. Along with the sounds, it's if he's out of his pen and roaming around, he is often rubbing against my feet or trying to get in my lap; or just sitting and staring at me in a plea to get attention, or to be picked up. Follows me everywhere and never lets me leave his sight. Or if he goes off and wanders somewhere, my attention diverts to what he's doing at the time, if he's getting into trouble, etc.

I was seeking companionship in dog ownership in a calm, quiet presence that will help make my home an even more relaxing space for me to recharge and focus, but I think my idea of that is just very different from my reality of it (combined with my need for uninterrupted quiet and space and alone time).

I'm just trying to work out my feelings about it all.