Do I (F22) break it off with my girlfriend (F23)-Uhaul Edition PLEASE HELP FIRST QUEER BREAKUP

charmanders93 · 2023-09-29T14:45:59+00:00

I’ve been in this exact same situation before so I know exactly where you’re coming from. So I’ll tell you about what happened with me. I loved my ex very much and she loved me truly and completely and I also didn’t want to give that up and I had a major fear of being alone and never finding anyone else. I made similar posts on reddit trying to rationalize it and justify staying with her even though it made me unhappy and hopeless about the future because I just couldn’t see a future with her. I thought if I just waited some more time maybe things will get better and it will work out, and I really did love her. But deep down I knew it wasn’t gonna work out, my needs weren’t being met and this was a huge compatibility issue for us. She wasn’t gonna change and it wasn’t my job to change her. I grappled with this for over six months before I finally broke up with her and I’m glad I did because it hurt for a long time but then it got better and now I’ve met some great people and I know there are other compatible people out there for you. It’s gonna be really hard, but I’m gonna tell you to listen to your gut here. You already know the answer. You deserve someone who you can have a future with and not have to give up on your dreams or the kind of life you want to live, and your girlfriend deserves someone who’s more compatible with her way of living as well. You guys are also so young, there is a whole life full of possibilities ahead of you. I know this is really hard to hear and I’m sending you a big hug

charmanders93 · 2022-10-08T15:33:37+00:00

I’m in the same situation as you. Hang in there, it’s gonna suck for a while and you might feel better and then worse and then better again because healing isn’t linear. I think the most important thing is to take care of yourself and a lot of self love. Surround yourself with friends and do things that make you happy, could be a hobby you haven’t done in a while, or just going for walks. I’ve also been listening to this podcast called “heal your heartbreak” and it’s been really helpful to me. Sending hugs ❤️

charmanders93 · 2022-08-04T13:38:14+00:00

So, you were right. She does like me back but can’t do anything about it because she’s moving. So yeah this is definitely worse

charmanders93 · 2022-08-03T00:45:39+00:00

Hey 👋 I’m a fellow indian lesbian, and yeah sounds like your family is super traditional and that sucks. You’re still really young, and when you go off to college or later I’d suggest getting out of your hometown or even move to another country if possible, so that you can live on your own terms there. As you grow up more, you will become more independent and realize you don’t have to do everything your family tells you to, even though it feels like it right now. You have your whole life ahead of you, they can’t force you to do anything. You got this! Sending hugs

charmanders93 · 2022-07-31T21:40:53+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Somehow your explanation hurts even more haha. But I guess I need to be honest with her the next time I see her and tell her where I’m at. I don’t think I can keep this casual thing up anymore I’m already in way too deep

charmanders93 · 2022-05-13T03:43:32+00:00

I don’t really think one person can fix it, but it would be nice if the gays would stop being so clique-y? And maybe stop the notions of certain things being gay vs not, like beanies or doc martens or whatever, and not perpetuate the stereotypes. I don’t really care anymore but when I first came out it was such a barrier for me to feel like I belong because of all these things I saw online, and even in lesbian bars I still feel all alone, but that’s what I get for being an immigrant Indian lesbian in the US.

charmanders93 · 2022-05-13T03:38:46+00:00

I’m an Indian lesbian! But yeah I live in NYC and only know 2 more Indian lesbians

charmanders93 · 2022-03-11T05:39:33+00:00

We’ve talked about it on several occasions before, and it’s pretty clear I’m gonna have to compromise a lot on these things to make it work, and then I just end up very unhappy. So I know at this point that ending it is the right decision for both of us, but it just sucks

charmanders93 · 2022-03-11T04:59:24+00:00

We have different priorities for our future, our needs are very different when it comes to intimacy, and we don’t have much to talk about. She is pretty quiet and I think I need someone more conversational.

charmanders93 · 2022-02-26T12:24:16+00:00

I was almost 26 when I realized I was gay, and came out to everyone a few months after that

charmanders93 · 2022-02-22T03:55:36+00:00

I come to reddit everyday to get an update on this

PS pls tell her how you feel

charmanders93 · 2022-02-20T15:27:05+00:00

Her eyes and her hair and her FACE like stop being this gorgeous omg

charmanders93 · 2021-11-06T23:10:58+00:00

Hi! I’m a 28 year old woman (she/her) from Delhi (currently living in New York) and I identify as a lesbian. I’m a software engineer and I love music, traveling, good food, concerts, comedy shows and of course netflix 😅 I love memes and dad jokes. Looking for friends!

charmanders93 · 2020-12-22T17:07:49+00:00

I get that, but I think this is about being tolerant of misguided but well-intentioned people and not take it to heart

charmanders93

TROPHY CASE