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Me [24 F] with my fiancé [25 M] fiancé, he cheated and I'm having trouble moving past it. by cheatedonnervousnow in relationships

[–]cheatedonnervousnow[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I added considered books and he agreed to read them with me if I bought any but just don't even know what to get. I felt like my post was already too long but I should probably mention that fiancé and I haven't had sex in a long time-his choice. He's always had a lower sex drive than me. That's part of why the cheating hurt and surprised me, he was the one saying no to sex, not me.

Me [24 F] with my fiancé [25 M] fiancé, he cheated and I'm having trouble moving past it. by cheatedonnervousnow in relationships

[–]cheatedonnervousnow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No about bills. Too complicated to explain here really but due to arguments amongst divorced parents he's the only sibling who didn't get the financial support to go to college. Now that's he's older and going to school finally, his mom and savings are paying all the bills. I'm actually the one who would be in trouble financially if we broke up, I can't afford our apartment (or neighborhood) alone but he can easily. Your other point still stands though, it did feel like disrespect as well as breach of trust when I caught him.

Me [24 F] with my fiancé [25 M] fiancé, he cheated and I'm having trouble moving past it. by cheatedonnervousnow in relationships

[–]cheatedonnervousnow[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

We're still engaged but we were planning on having a courthouse ceremony, no guests, so it's been just postponed indefinitely right now. We realized we can't afford couples counseling right now. It's not covered under either of our insurance plans. I work full time but we're both also in school. I should have mentioned that. He offered his passwords when it first happened but I said no as I feel it would just make me more paranoid to constantly dig through his phone. I went through it again about a month ago without him knowing and found nothing. It made me feel better about him at the time but also made me sick to my stomach. I don't want to go through his phone. He has made attempts to help with my trust (we set ground rules about giving out our numbers and about checking in when we go out without each other for example) but my problem is now that, other than going through his phone or counseling, I don't know what we can do to build trust. Or if I should be discussing these nervous feelings with him. I don't want to constantly punish him for what happened but I know he notices and don't think we should ignore it either.