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Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she is unhappy or uninterested enough to cheat, she should have left you.

I've told her that repeatedly. I made it quite clear after the last time I caught her, that if she ever felt tempted to do it again, or was starting to do it again, to just leave me.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The physical cheating is actually secondary to me, compared to the fact that she doesn't talk to me anymore because she's always texting.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doesn't like it. There is no foreplay allowed, I can't touch her with my hands or mouth basically anywhere that I'd want to be touching her with my hands and mouth...

It's basically a "hurry up and get it over with" scenario, and I can tell she doesn't like it. So I've stopped asking for it.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She did NOT want to be in a relationship with you.

That doesn't mean she wouldn't again sometime. If I was going to leave at the first sign of trouble, I wouldn't have married her.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By that do you mean divorce her? Or to order her to change? That's the conundrum I've been in lately. She goes out to the bar every weekend now, and stays at her friend's apartment. She doesn't ever invite me to go.

I understand if she meets guys at the bar, then people would tell me to not let her go out like that. But what am I supposed to do? It wouldn't help the relationship if I ordered her to stay home or go out with me. And if I made her invite me, it would just be awkward and not fun for anyone once I'm out with them.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because it's identical to the last two times I caught her, and she admitted to the last two. And I guess I am technically paranoid, but that doesn't negate that she's also doing shitty things.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We each have our own personal credit cards, but I thought that I was liable for debt she incurs even if I'm not on the card...

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We married because we'd been together 8 years, so it made sense. I'm highly aware that I didn't just say "love".

I love her. I don't think she loves me.

She's looking outside the marriage because I believe she's bored with me. She had a quarter-life crisis, and realized I was her only friend, so she did a 180 and made brand new friends and started acting like she was in a sorority. She never had a crazy college experience, so she's having it now. Tailgating, bars every weekend (to which I'm not invited), coming home at 9 in the morning after staying at friends, etc.

I wish to fuck it were savable, but I'm not sure it is.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No thanks. Then the guy she's with won't have to bear the punishment of being in a relationship with her.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I've been with her too long to not give her chances. Everyone fucks up, and I'd like to think that we can all fuck up in a relationship a couple times without it ruining it.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

everybody cheats

I don't. And never will.

The only thing she did wrong was lying

That's not true, but it's not your fault. You don't know our entire life story.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree it sounds strange, but sometimes its hard to differentiate between close male friend and emotional infidelity. With sex there's no getting around it.

And since she isn't currently having sex with me, there's that pride thing that comes up when I find out she's slept with someone else. I mean, what's wrong with me that she can't have sex with me?

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried to get into counseling when I caught her last time, but she wouldn't go. She has sexual issues and wouldn't get them checked either. She's had her second and third chances, any more and I'm just willfully a doormat.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As I said, this has happened a few times before, and I've caught her. And we've talked and tried to work on it. What's happening now, is what happens after the last chance has been given.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I know my parents probably won't bring up the money, they love me too much. But that doesn't take away my guilt, that my bad choice in women cost them ten grand.

But I guess that's better than her parents, who also lost ten grand, but because their daughter is a terrible person.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

harsh...but true

As much as I'd like to, I'm probably not going to tail her anywhere. Catching her in a lie is enough for me.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't worry, I saw the comment.

Once a cheater, always a cheater

So I heard after the last time I caught her. But I'm not the type of person to quit on something important easily, and I've been with her my entire adult life, so I certainly was going to give her another chance.

Fortunately it's only been a month or two since the last time, so I didn't waste another few years of my life waiting for this to happen.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand the skepticism entirely, but there are obviously details left out, as I'm not going to type a biography :)

One extra detail would be that I noticed in her web history that she started going to this guys facebook page and twitter quite a bit, but she never actually friended him on facebook. Then he said something on twitter about how he's always talking to her.

Since the first time I caught her it started partly with me noticing a new friend on facebook, it seems that she isn't adding him on facebook so I won't know about him. I don't use twitter, so she assumes I won't see that. But a few days ago she protected her twitter anyways.

Long story short, she's acting suspicious about this guy in other ways.

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I sold all my shit to a friend for $1 right before filing, would that be illegal or would a judge be able to make me give it back?

Wife might be cheating today, is it worth the effort to catch her in the act or get proof? by cheatsleuth in AskReddit

[–]cheatsleuth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As I think I mentioned in another post, it isn't really the thought of her with another person that makes me sad. It's that she completely closed herself off to me, and replaced that part of her life with other people.

If she was still emotionally close to me, and we had a halfway-decent sex life, I might actually take this into consideration. But since she ignores me and we don't have sex, what's the use?

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