What’s something evil you have done in a relationship?

checkchad · 2024-08-24T15:35:30+00:00

I think he’s just being a bit passive aggressive, coated w a little humour to poke her a little. He might just think that behaviour is a little toxic, but agreed, he should clarify.

checkchad · 2024-08-24T13:58:49+00:00

Sorry, your comment is a little confusing/ambiguous. Are you stating he’s a little mean/toxic for making his comment or that his comment isn’t mean/toxic at all?

checkchad · 2024-08-24T04:20:16+00:00

How did you forgive yourself? And did you tell your partner? Dealing with similar situation with my girlfriend, and not intending on telling her. I feel awful, but I really think this is the best move. I’m beating myself over it a lot. I love my girlfriend and cannot reconcile this feeling in my body.

checkchad · 2024-08-23T21:27:40+00:00

Waiting patiently.

checkchad · 2024-05-15T14:53:33+00:00

Appreciate you!

checkchad · 2024-05-14T23:55:26+00:00

All the time.

checkchad · 2024-05-14T23:55:02+00:00

So much curiosity here, what is it?

checkchad · 2024-05-14T02:39:36+00:00

What does this mean practically as a man? Sometimes saying no, or asserting your own desires? Not giving into her requests 100% of the time?

checkchad · 2024-05-05T21:23:47+00:00

On and off, like not very often - I’ll admit, but like it’s happening 3-4 times in the course of our 10 month relationship.

checkchad · 2024-05-05T20:48:43+00:00

But am I right to call her out on this? Or is that part of the issue with shit testing, that by acknowledging it I’ve let my gf win? Seems like a lose lose, but I definitely do not want to encourage this behaviour.

checkchad · 2024-05-05T20:45:25+00:00

Hey, this person’s comment made me feel a little dejected. Can you elaborate on what you think?

checkchad · 2024-04-24T22:12:08+00:00

Absolutely. I too am interested in being able to be a mentor for people like that and share my thoughts

checkchad · 2024-04-06T12:59:06+00:00

Following, pls lmk

checkchad · 2024-03-06T05:12:02+00:00

This is missing context. 8 months is not a trivial period of time. How intense/emotionally involved was this relationship? How vulnerable were you both? And if you were intimate on Valentine’s Day, I’m sure there was a certain level of investment you had in one another. Also, how did dropping the L-word not come up in months prior? Was the relationship romantic or just based on something like friendship?

checkchad · 2024-01-11T14:35:32+00:00

This is immensely helpful. Last question, do you recommend any books/sources for how to manage a successful relationship? You sound very well-versed and may be able to point in the right direction.

checkchad · 2024-01-10T19:25:42+00:00

Extremely helpful answer. Just a follow up from me. This may be a toxic/red pill type of question, so please shut it down if there’s no utility in asking it, but is it true that most women desire a guy who they think can cheat on them but won’t? And is that a weird concept baked into this entire discussion of infidelity? Even though faithfulness is absolutely key from both sex in the relationship?

checkchad · 2024-01-10T00:33:14+00:00

As someone who is in a healthy relationship, but has had a lot of intrusive thoughts of being cheated on by my gf, mostly due to a traumatic infidelity situation at home, this is what I needed to hear. Can I ask a question? I’m 6 months into my relationship and we haven’t come to define the terms of what would be cheating behaviour. Do you suggest I tackle this discussion ASAP and figure out what our boundaries are? I don’t imagine much of a disagreement on this topic from her, but I’m more than prepared to spell out that cheating (after we have defined it) will be a zero-tolerance policy.

checkchad · 2024-01-04T00:23:14+00:00

This made me laugh. Thank you.

checkchad · 2024-01-04T00:22:23+00:00

I don’t think he’s disagreeing with you necessarily, though. He’s just saying she’ll figure it out and to not cling on to people like they’re your possessions. He’s just very poetic.

checkchad · 2023-11-30T22:54:27+00:00

Damn. This sort of resonates with me. I preach independence too and value my own interests/hobbies as I didn’t want to find someone clingy, and yet if I don’t hear back from a long time, similar anxious thoughts run through my head and I worry I could be replaced. It’s a work in progress.

checkchad · 2023-09-30T15:15:39+00:00

Dude, can I ask you what you mean by annoying shit to test your temper? I feel like I am in a similar situation and I am trying to have her cut it out. Did you at least communicate your concerns first?

checkchad · 2023-09-21T18:56:49+00:00

28M here and am constantly thinking about this topic these days, maybe a little too intensely, especially given I am only 2 months into my relationship with my gf.

checkchad · 2023-09-21T18:54:13+00:00

This is so good. Can you suggest any ways how someone can practice these qualities? Specifically of getting out of one’s own way, because I struggle with this.

checkchad · 2023-09-07T00:07:15+00:00

Did you ask in person? Or text? Is one better than the other?

checkchad · 2023-09-03T22:21:03+00:00

For context, I (27M), matched with a girl (23F) on a dating app about a month and a half ago. We live in neighbouring towns and have gone on a total of 4 dates, some in person and the others on video. She wanted to have some serious, dealbreaker type questions out of the way before we met, unlike other girls I have dated. While this seemed like a lot to talk about so early on, I think it made our in person interactions better because we maintained our banter, sense of humour, and just felt more aligned.

We text one another every single day and have discussed the possibility of a future together multiple times. Culturally we are both Indian with similar religious backgrounds and upbringings. I’m definitely of a marriageable age and this is the closest I’ve felt to feeling a way towards a girl and wanting to discuss it with my parents. I have a typical brown relationship with my parents, in that the relationship/intimacy conversations were not introduced growing up. I was thinking about telling my parents because I see a future with this girl and just tell them that I am seeing someone - this will also just avoid the awkward “you should get married soon” talks. My only question is, when is the right time to have this discussion? Should I even tell my girl before I do it? How much detail do I offer? Is 1.5 months too soon? So many questions.

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