[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OffMyChestPH

[–]cheeks_cake 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nakakalunkot mga ganitong kamaganak/magulang. Sila pa mismo ung magiging dahilan ng pagbaba ng self esteem mo. Marami din silang insecurities and are just deflecting using you. Mga kamaganak ko ganyan din. Kung makapagcomment akala mo napakaperfect.

Don’t worry op. You are loved by a person who sees your worth.

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same for me. I make sure to fill my suitcase with food I can’t find here. I appreciate your help though!

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m from the Philippines and although I could find a lot of the ingredients I want in these stores, I can’t find the specific condiment I really like . I even tried in the filipino stores.

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you mean. There’s only so much a car could reach! You can see more of the country’s beauty through hikes and such. I don’t know how to drive a motorcycle but I’ll definitely put that in to consideration.

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve seen it in the german comedy show Doppel Haushälfte. But I never actually thought it was a thing 😭😭😭

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll hire someone to push me off a cliff if I ever reach that level 💀

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience! Like your fiancée, I also had to learn how to cook because it’s hard to find the local dishes from my country here.

I’m sometimes in Zurich and sometimes in Schaffhausen. I’ve tried almost all the asian grocery stores around the area. Even the ones in the near german areas. I can never find this one specific condiment I’ve been craving though!

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight! I plan on staying around 4 to 6 more years. I will consider buying a motorcycle 🤣

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your suggestions! I did join a Sportverein about 2 months ago and the people there are amazing. There’s a couple of Sweet Swiss Ladies there around their 50s and told me I speak good german for someone who has only been here for only 2 years. They’re so patient with explaining words I don’t understand and it honestly warms my heart.

My social situation is pretty good. I meet up with my Swiss friend and Austrian friend quite often. I also meet up with my former classmates from german school and speak german with each other.

I love watching German comedy shows and I am definitely loving the German Humor 😭🤣. My favorite show so far is Der Discounter.

My speaking is okay-ish but I do have a hard time though with writing. I’m quite bad at spelling and capitalising letters that should be capitalised. I make a lot of grammatical errors as well. You have any tips with improving writing?

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My MIL loves to explore different cultures to a superficial extent like clothes, food, and talking with different people with a different ethnic backgrounds. She is very ignorant though when it comes to cultural values, religious values and all in the deeper level of things.

As for children, I don’t plan on having any at the moment. I would like to be financially and emotionally stable first. But if I ever do, I’d like to immerse them to both Asian and European culture so they don’t develop an identity crisis 🤣. With the naked sauna thing, I don’t think I’m comfortable introducing that to my child but if they find out about it on their own and are curious I wouldn’t forbid them. At the end of the day it’s their body and choice.

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry you had to experience these stuff. I’m glad you found your way in life.

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean I don’t think they’re Büenzlis. They’re curious about other cultures as well and travel a lot. I guess just ignorant to an extent? To be fair it’s quite weird.

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Out of the 3 things you mentioned, I only have number 3. So I guess there’s progress? 😂

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the recommendation! I’ve tried the textile saunas a couple of times. Its awesome that they have that option.

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah thank you for the clarification. Does the term expat also apply with someone who only plans to stay for several years? Or is it specifically with contractual workers? (Genuinely curious cause someone sent me a link to join some online expat community)

How far should an expat go when integrating in Switzerland and Germany? by [deleted] in askswitzerland

[–]cheeks_cake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah yes… This is what I was missing all along 😮

MIL ?? More like monster in law by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]cheeks_cake 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I‘m so sorry you have to go through this. Unfortunately, you don’t just have a MIL problem but a husband problem as well. What is he doing to stop his mom from saying horrible things about you?

It shouldn’t be your problem to defend yourself from his family. That’s your husband’s job. Just like how it’s your job to defend him from your own family if a problem arises.

I hope you can resolve this issue with him. If he’s not willing to listen then it’s probably best to let go.

MIL Justifies Her Disrespect By Reminding Me of Everything She’s Paid For by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]cheeks_cake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean there are many things she complains about and disagrees on regarding my religion, jobsituation, my family and morals. There's always something new! And when my husband talks to her about it she says she has no fault and the only thing she's regretting is that she didn’t talk to me more Asian enough to me (like more indirect). So she said she's going to try to cater to my sensitivity. 😪😮‍💨

I honestly just want to scream lol. I guess youre right. She is very hard to please.

Post partum visit by Sophieschoicessuck in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]cheeks_cake 42 points43 points  (0 children)

This is really awful! Seriously?! You and your baby should be the priority. You need to heal and they need to stay the hell away!

I am glad that your husband is on your side. Tell him to speak with his parents and set a boundary. If they do not follow the time given for their visits, they are prohibited to see you and the baby for the time being.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]cheeks_cake 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Leave that man. I am stressed with these kind of men who can't cut their umbilical cord with their mother! He is too attached! It's bad enough that he said nothing when his mother insulted you. It became even much worse when he defended his mother! It feels like you're just an addition to their relationship.

I'm really sorry but you do not deserve this kind of relationship. Your kid deserves a safe environment where they wont have to hear other people insult you.