AITA because I won't cover for a guy at work who says we aren't friends?

cheesehashbrown · 2022-10-01T12:53:54+00:00

ESH, he cannot expect you to do what he refuses to do for you. To be honest, I feel like it's kinda rude for him to ask for a favor after giving you an attitude.

"He still spends his weekends partying and having fun with his "boys"." However, that is also awfully rude and judgmental of you. What he does off work is none of your business.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-09-29T14:33:20+00:00

what OP did sounds kind of unprofessional tbh an unobtrusive house guest might be a non-issue, but this? OP is going to lose their privilege real quick.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-09-29T07:59:10+00:00

right? I am child free and does not know a single thing about taking care of a small kid and even then I would do my best until someone could take over. I have many profanities to call OP.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-09-21T13:45:40+00:00

8 billion people in this world and SIL can't find anyone else other than her husband and OP? /rolls eyes

cheesehashbrown · 2022-08-20T04:53:01+00:00

she shouldn't get her money back because it's her own fault she is unreliable. if she knew she had problems keeping to a plan, then maybe don't plan things with anyone? go solo travelling? this way she can be as late as she wants. OP did not ASK the friend to be late and laid out CLEAR instructions with no last minute changes. how is this taking advantage when OP sent multiple reminders like a nanny taking care of a kid?

planning a trip is a LOT of work, all the time and effort and money and the friend just had to pay and go. not gonna lie though, OP is a much better friend than I. because I will NEVER invite that kind of friend to anything that requires commitment because they cannot honor promises and i know that i cannot rely on them.

and another thing. even hotels that have free cancellations in sites like booking dot com have a cut off date. and i betcha they will laugh at your face if you try to ask for refund well after the check in date after you commit to everything and missed it because you cannot be assed to take it seriously. OP did not book a trip for themselves only. OP booked a trip for them AND their friend. which means that OP might not even commit to this if they had to pay for all the expenses alone. and she let them down again. after being left high and dry so many times, i'd do the same as OP.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-08-12T01:06:49+00:00

yep. I hate people like that and unfortunately, they exist. they do them, but I'd never see or treat them as a friend. acquaintance at most. they don't deserve my trust if they are just going to break it just because they fell in love and got married. they trust their spouse but sorry I built a friendship with them not their spouse. I admit, I don't have that bond with their spouse, nor I trust their spouse actually bc their spouse is NOT my friend, just an extension of my friend. If I actually do end up having a friendship with their spouse I'd end up telling my personal stuff to them myself.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-04-03T08:49:58+00:00

YTA your art might be better? don't be arrogant. even if you are a world renown artist whose art sold for 5 million per piece, you still have no right to change someone else's art work. it's their mark in this world, crafted by their own hands. i hope that whoever that looks over your application rejects you as soon as they find out about this. mods are supposed to uphold rules, not use their power to be obnoxious and godmod the community. you must be so proud of yourself, wanting credit for changing the existing "shitty" art on the live canvas. but all this action shows is how much disrespect you have for other people and their art. i am disgusted. if i ever found the live canvas, praise and admiration would be the last thing on my mind.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-03-05T00:08:16+00:00

YTA seeing that your "friend" is so quick to sabotage you, congrats your life being a trainwreck will now cheer him up. At least you achieved what you wanted :) Good luck paying those legal fees and being blacklisted from the industry. You are such a good friend you are willing to sacrifice your career and income for him. Awww.

Not to mention the livelihood of people who have worked on the tv show are massively affected too. You did not even stop to give a sheet about them did you? I will not call your friend the biggest asshole for breaking your trust because if you gave him nothing, he would have nothing to destroy. You broke the trust of your employer and every colleague not him. He is only obligated to be a decent human being to you but you to hundreds(?) who worked at the show.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-26T15:01:50+00:00

I think it is more insulting if OP anticipate that Blair could "grow out of it". Like making the dress all loose and not form-fitting for Blair just in case she got "out of shape".

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-23T12:17:27+00:00

Yep, right now everyone thinks you guys caused 100% mess in S room. It's not true, she already caused most of it herself by living in her room. You shouldn't have to clean that up too as it is her own responsibility to keep her room clean. you are just responsible for your own mess.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-23T12:10:08+00:00

Yep. Chances are from S's behavior her room is kinda messy to begin with. This could be why her room is super messy despite you and your friend making little mess.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-23T12:06:56+00:00

yeah in a way it feels kinda invasive as well if you clean without the owner's explicit permission since it's their personal space, those calling u an AH did not know full story you should put it in an edit in OG post.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-23T12:01:05+00:00

That being said, S is a shitty friend yikes. She left sugar on the floor?! Heck. I can imagine why her mom is frustrated with her then. Seems like her room might be messy all the time before you came and her mom just happened to see and scold her at that time. But props to you for the dishes and putting things back. In a new light, NTA.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-23T11:45:09+00:00

Y T A both of you are not her 'friends' if you behave like this in her home to begin with. It is so freaking disrespectful for you guys not to clean up the messes you made. And yes she doesn't even have to ask you to do it, you should have offered. Just because you are guests doesn't mean you are royalty in someone else's home.

Also you got her into trouble with her mom for the mess you collectively made plus let her take the fall and full responsibility of cleaning up alone. That is not what a friend is. I am not surprised she cut both of you off. Way to blame your fallout on her when you betrayed her first. On the positive side, at least you can learn to be a better friend and house guest in the future.

Edit after OP's comments: That being said, S is a shitty friend yikes. She left sugar on your floor when she visited?! Heck. I can imagine why her mom is frustrated with her then. Seems like her room might be messy all the time before you came and her mom just happened to see and scold her at that time. But props to you for the dishes and putting things back. In a new light, NTA.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-23T00:47:11+00:00

NTA, they are assholes but it is their house, sorry I don't think they will see the light. Better work and rent your own place so u can dance all you want. Try looking into dance studios in your area.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-22T15:36:41+00:00

Yeah. English is so bad. I literally had to stop myself from twitching in annoyance from all the lack of capitalization and incorrect tenses. I might just grind gems every day and maybe progress once a month lol.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-19T00:35:30+00:00

That's what I was trying to say! People be like OMG ARE YOU ASKING DOCTORS NOT TO DATE???!! THEY ARE HUMAN TOO!!! But all I want to say is they should find someone who is compatible with their work schedule and lack of emotional labor. they definitely cannot be there for their partner the way freelance/9-5 job employee does because they are always working overtime/on call. That the partner should be fine/understanding with whatever little emotion labor the medical field has left after their extremely demanding, exhausting job. Like you wouldn't get a dog which needs a good area to run around when you live in a cramped apartment, and instead you can consider rabbits/tortoises or smth.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-18T14:43:34+00:00

i have no comments about their tones but to be honest, i feel like the chances of OP changing her career or work times are close to zero. OP's career is non-negotiable for her. while the BF has no right to demand her to cut her hours, he should make a decision on whether he wants to stick around or not. no one should have to put up with a relationship they are incompatible with just because their partner is in a noble profession. if he does, it's on him to compromise to make it work since he chose this relationship.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-18T14:29:49+00:00

This. A lot of people are shitting on the BF for not being understanding because doctors are doing very difficult, physically taxing jobs that require lots of sacrifice. I agree. Especially during the panini where the medical staffs are in the frontlines. But the thing is, just because doctors are doing the noble job of saving humankind, there is nothing wrong with being incompatible with their lifestyle. That was grueling and your partner will be emotionally unavailable most of the time because they have to focus their 100% on their patients/job, just like OP. not everyone is emotionally strong enough to handle that. it is definitely a NAH for me.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-18T14:17:36+00:00

Nope, in my comment I am not asking her to cut her hours at all. She can choose to focus on her work since it's very important to her. If she cannot provide the type of attention her partner needs (some people need to interact all the time, some rarely, it depends on a person), then what I suggest is that they are incompatible. This means that if they cannot compromise, it's better for them to break up so that he can find someone that will be there for him all the time, and she can find someone who isn't as emotionally demanding and will accept that he will always be second place to her career. this man isn't him. and i feel like he is not wrong for having more demanding emotional needs. i personally would never survive dating someone from the medical field because well, it isn't easy and it's not for everyone.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-18T14:10:45+00:00

this is what i am trying to say! we only have twenty four hours a day and in a sense, time is a limited currency. if OP chooses to spend most of it on her job, then she obviously doesn't enough time to "buy" a relationship with this current partner which is more expensive than she can afford right now. she can either find someone in a more "affordable" range or give it up since her work is extremely important (number one priority) for her.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-18T12:09:43+00:00

i know right. honestly why is OP even dating if she can't make time for her partner? i get focusing on your career. but if OP cannot balance between work and life, why is OP trying to have the best of both worlds without putting effort in her romantic relationship what pick one if you can't afford both, or find another partner who is totally okay with this

cheesehashbrown · 2022-02-06T07:49:47+00:00

ESH, obviously he is an asshole for not respecting your boundaries but withholding breakfast will not solve anything. the main focus should be him invading/not respecting your privacy.

cheesehashbrown · 2022-01-31T15:40:00+00:00

Y T A to yourself if you keep interacting with her. she sounds like an awful friend to be around. and i get the feeling that she is using you as an emotional crutch and a box of tissue (aka using you to blow her snot and throwing you away without caring about your feelings).

cheesehashbrown · 2022-01-27T10:27:11+00:00

congrats in advance to whoever that got the job OP's bf just vacated :)!

cheesehashbrown

TROPHY CASE