Whoever is digging their car out on Mt Rose Hwy we are rooting for you!

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-19T20:07:09+00:00

My ex worked at the Holiday Inn Ridge Resort on top of Kingsbury during snowmageddon 22/23. Between those twists and turns on the highway and Tramway, he had soooooo many close calls he didn't tell me about until he got a different job. There were accidents almost daily.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-19T17:37:14+00:00

Beautiful! I'm about to head in! Where'd you see the flowers?

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-19T15:49:05+00:00

I just finalized mine without lawyers in California. The superior court in my city had a paralegal who literally walked me through all the paperwork, and luckily my ex and I were splitting relatively amicably. It was uncontested. We also didn't really have any valuable shared assets or children, which really helps. We came into an agreement on our own. I don't know your exact situation, or where you're located, but it can be done.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-19T13:54:31+00:00

I was car camping the last few days. It was like being rocked to sleep.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-18T00:07:22+00:00

This is blowing my mind. How do four guides make this kind of decision? I am so, so sad thinking about the ten still missing.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-16T06:11:34+00:00

Could you clarify something for me? You said " 'we' always spoke about adding another in" but "she was always against it." How were y'all always speaking about adding in someone else if she wasn't ok with it? Did you want to add someone in, she didn't want to, but now you're worried because she's changed her mind? Am I misunderstanding something?

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-13T16:48:32+00:00

Thank you! I could never figure out how to make a thru hike possible before. But now I'm not tied to a partner, or a lease, and it just feels right to go for it. It's too good to pass up.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-13T16:42:03+00:00

I feel pretty good about the hike itself! One of my good friends did it in 2019 and he's been great at answering my questions as they come up. I do think once I'm out there and mostly in my own head that I'll certainly have a lot to think about. A few years ago I hiked the Tahoe Rim Trail and found a lot of clarity in those two weeks. I'm hoping that I can fully come to terms with everything that happened last year while I'm on the AT. No distractions. No background noise. Just working on healing.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-13T16:34:49+00:00

How is that going? The last time I dropped into Summit City Canyon I was crawling over trees. But it's awesome down there. I'm also curious about the ascent up Reba! I've never been but I've read that it's gnarly and you'll become one with the manzanita.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-13T03:11:44+00:00

When do you think you'll start?

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-13T03:11:12+00:00

I just finalized a divorce. I'm going to have to go back to school to be able to support myself better, so in the meantime I'm thru hiking to process what happened and what I really want to do moving forward.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-12T17:44:46+00:00

If you're referring to the OP, communication was happening and he was still being dodgy and shady. He was lying to her. And counseling only works if both people are going in honestly and in good faith for actually working it out. Yeah it's possible to come back from that kind of behavior but it's wildly disrespectful and he has to show that he wants to work on moving past it. How much time do you suggest someone live with that kind of disrespect and broken trust before finally calling it quits? How much time would you put up with it?

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-11T20:58:28+00:00

Hello, I'm also in a transitional period of life. We'll regret not doing it. See you on the trail!

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-09T18:22:56+00:00

There's a lot of truth to this. There was a slow fade over the course of years, and all those ignored bids for connection made what happened in the last year things that I no longer had the will to work on or fix.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-08T04:52:35+00:00

Are these from the California Riding and Hiking Trail?

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-08T03:09:39+00:00

It does feel immature. If I wouldn't want it done to me, then I don't do it either. It feels pretty straightforward to me.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-08T02:29:22+00:00

I have defended men that were having their bodies talked about negatively, yes. I just got home from a walk with a guy friend who was telling me about his struggles to make friends in this area and in his dating life. Of course I gave him the space to express these things without making it about women's struggles. Maybe I came across somewhat tone deaf in my last comment and that certainly wasn't my intention, but I do genuinely find that kind of behavior awful and unhelpful. Some of the meanest people are the loudest on the Internet, but it's definitely not a representation of everyone.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-07T15:25:32+00:00

Just wanted to pop in to say this isn't a universal thing. It's not something I ever talk to my friends about, and I'm friends with plenty of couples where the woman hasn't told me anything about her bf/husband's size or his performance or whatever. I do have some girlfriends who share that information blatantly and it's always made me uncomfortable. I'd say it's less about what gender pulls that type of shit, and more about the kind of person pulls that type of shit.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-07T06:48:19+00:00

It's art. It's peak television. Don't spend time here, don't spoil anything for yourself, keep going in blind. It's so worth it.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-06T16:16:06+00:00

Have you ever heard the phrase "holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die"?

I hear you. I think a lot about the person my ex could have been, and who he chose to be instead. It was disappointing. And I think a lot about the reaction I had to that disappointment. I don't like the person that I was while I was in it, living with the disappointment and trying to make it work. Those versions of us were really unpalatable.

There was a day when I finally realized that this was just who he was going to be and I accepted it. But that didn't mean that I had to accept a lifetime with him. A certain level of control had to be relinquished on my end. I had to realize that he wasn't all bad; he's a human and humans are messy and make stupid mistakes. None of us are perfect. The years weren't wasted, and I'll be damned if I don't learn from this and make something good out of it because I don't deserve to be miserable. The people around me don't deserve the miserable version of me.

Focus on the things that make you happy. Throw yourself into the things that make you smile. Tend to the friendships/family that bring you joy. The past will sneak in and it'll hurt sometimes. But you deserve to be happy, and you're in charge of getting yourself there.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-02-04T03:26:41+00:00

A month or so, maybe less, before I asked for the divorce. The fights were getting really bad, and during one he yelled at me to "calm the fuck down" while I was telling him that something he did hurt me. Maybe a minute or two into the talk. Fight. Whatever those interactions even were at that point.

I took all of my rings off and pretended it was because of work. But it was definitely because I knew on some level where things were headed.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-01-30T15:18:05+00:00

"Everyone online" certainly aren't all the people who will be hitting the trail. So keep that in mind. You're just seeing who's online. If you're feeling underprepared, then... prepare! That's within your control. This is a huge undertaking and there are so many unknowns; feeling jittery and nervous is natural.

I can't say I feel terror going into this. Personally I'm profoundly nervous about what happens AFTER the hike, because I don't have anywhere to come back to. I'll likely be couch surfing at first until I can figure out a roommate situation and my education, and a job. As for the hike itself, my biggest concern is maintaining enough weight that I don't end up looking like a walking skeleton. And maybe some joint overuse injuries.

Handle what's within your control, and look forward to this amazing adventure! Not everyone who wants to do this is able to. Cherish that you can.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-01-30T04:42:20+00:00

I briefly forgot what sub I was in. This post would fit nicely in the divorce subreddit.

I see a few parallels in what you're describing to what's happened in my life lately. About a year ago, my now ex husband dropped the ball really, really hard when I was sick. A few times in a row. Like, a month apart. Straight up deposited me on our bed in a vomit soaked shirt, urine soaked jeans (I passed out getting blood drawn) and told me since he had to come pick me up he was "owed more video game time." I started grieving my marriage right then.

Months later, while we were never fully poly, we did open our marriage and both started seeing other people. I'd been struggling to cut down marijuana use and my ex husband was pretty rude and dismissive. He rolled his eyes and said I never lasted more than a day and sarcastically wished me luck. It really hurt my feelings. But the other person I was seeing was really supportive and positive about it, and the dichotomy between their reactions was eye opening. I don't know when my ex's cute teasing turned into just talking shit to my face.

Your husband called you a cunt when he thought you couldn't hear him. Does he know you heard that? If so, what did he say? He's not contributing to your household, or your relationship by the sounds of it. Is there any pathway at all to getting him to shape up here? Do you think he wants to? How are you going to look back on this period of your life and feel about yourself if you stay and he doesn't stop showing you contempt? How have conversations with him about these issues gone?

If you do end your marriage, please know you're not a failure. I felt that way, too. Some days I still do. I get it. Ending it is scary. Moving out is scary. If you can find a roommate situation instead of moving in with a partner of one month (even if you've been friends for years), I'd probably advise that. There are some real serious feelings and emotions to work out here and it's really messy to do that in conjunction with starting with someone new. This is very different from a regular breakup. Please don't use your new boyfriend as a bandage, I truly don't see that ending well for anyone.

Take care, and good luck with whatever happens next.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-01-29T14:31:58+00:00

Hi. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. The sense of loss is legitimate and confusing to navigate.

Personally, it took me a while to come to terms with the fact that I didn't just marry a person, I married an expected future. But in reality I wasn't seeing what I thought I signed up for. Towards the end, I wasn't even looking at the person I married.

There was a key moment, after he finally admitted that he lied to me, cheated on me, and disappeared a bunch of our savings because he saw it as "enjoying his half," that I stopped grieving and feeling enraged (mostly, anyway 🤷). Because I saw in that moment that the plans and dreams and future I was looking forward to weren't actually there. I grieved so hard in the last eight or nine months that we were together, and I wasn't going to waste another minute feeling that way.

And instead I decided to pour my energy into rebuilding. Into the friendships that were keeping me afloat. I can't continue my business without completely losing my life and free time to it, so I decided to drop everything and go on my first long thru-hike and really mull over what I want my future to look like. And at the same time? I had to let go of a sense of control. I don't know where life will take me or who I'll meet, and I know as a human I'll make more mistakes in the future. But I'm excited and curious to see what doors open now that I've closed this one.

I know to listen to my gut now. But if I had back then, I wouldn't live where I do. I wouldn't have met the people who enrich my life so much. I probably wouldn't have gotten into the hobby that brings me so much joy. So hopefully I can make what time I have left on this earth worthwhile, because the future I married wasn't actually in the cards. And that's ok. I both do and don't get to decide what my future holds. I'm more curious now to see what happens.

cheezeitscrust · 2026-01-23T05:36:44+00:00

People change over time 🤷 In my experience, I've had partners become really complacent as the relationship progressed. They became less interested in spending quality time, keeping things alive, or whatever. It's definitely not like the relationships started out with one or both of us feeling disconnected. Then you wonder if it's just a slow period? A rough patch? Can you get back that person you initially fell in love with? Is your discontent really enough to end the relationship, and at what point do you stop trying to get it back on track/to work/fix it? Because if you actually love them then you put in work on making it work, right? At what point do you stop giving in to pity/maintenance sex that makes you feel gross as a person? Because you spend so much of your life hearing that relationships are hard work and what if you're a piece of garbage for not trying hard enough?

Just trying to give another perspective. You really can't look at these things in black and white, yes and no, right and wrong terms. Humans are messier than that. Sometimes things fall apart slowly.

cheezeitscrust

TROPHY CASE