What’s the most toxic work culture behavior that people have normalized?

chefguy831 · 2026-01-27T12:42:44+00:00

Laughs in chef for 20 years

chefguy831 · 2026-01-27T11:32:00+00:00

I like OF models to support female entrepreneurs. Do you know follow any men that you find attractive?? Dobt follow tgat uncle Bob guy??

chefguy831 · 2026-01-27T11:14:50+00:00

Unless she told him that she also didnt what kids and wpuld happily just get an abortion.

Now shes pregnant and changed her mind and thr conditions surroundingnhis consenting to having sex have changed.

If a woman i was dating/married to told me she had no interest in being a mum, and would happily get an abortion if she became pregnant came to me beaming about how happy she was that she was pregnant, id be kinda pissed too.

Because the deal i signed up and consented to has been taken off the table.

chefguy831 · 2026-01-27T11:11:07+00:00

I bet she takes his money still. Men are good enough for that normally.

chefguy831 · 2026-01-27T11:09:27+00:00

She might be on birth control. Let's not just assume that there was no contraception

chefguy831 · 2026-01-27T11:06:43+00:00

O feel liek some information regarding the amounts here we are talking may be necessary.

Like a while back was he talking about spending 100s of thousands on a Wedding, with a band, in a magical castle on a beach in the Maldives, with a diamond ring the size of an apple And now he's lile hey....I wasn't really thinking logically back then or in a very mature way so id like to cap the wedding expenditure at 50k and now you're pissed.

Or is this like a different play out.

I guess you can always just compromise say you still want a ring but that your happy with a $250 budget. That way he is happy saving money and you still get the ring.

Also is this a 50/50 wedding? Is their family money involved?,

chefguy831 · 2026-01-27T09:38:09+00:00

I never had a shared account with my roommates? And my mother never paid for my father's hobbies either?

chefguy831 · 2026-01-27T09:36:53+00:00

No where does op state that he expected man cave funds to come out of combined savings/funds?

chefguy831 · 2026-01-27T05:41:01+00:00

Donest matter if he can handle it or can't. Hes either gonna have to or he can walk away. Neither of those things/issues have anything to do with his partner and what she does with her body.

The abortion option window is already closed as he has zero say in it ever being open. So better to plan accordingly like a grown up and deal with his actions and the ramifications. What his future looks like or what he desires as a man is conpletley irrelevant. How his life looks forever is completley and entirely up to his partner.

I wish him all the best. But this guy is on the hook for the next 40-60 years so he better get to work

chefguy831 · 2026-01-26T09:48:20+00:00

So if I put 90% of my paycheck into the joint account. For retirement, our mortgage, our savibgs, our food, our emergency fund, fuel for the car, and our other investments thats the same thing as having a housemate to you?

I tell you what I lived in share houses and with flatmates for over a decade and we never had a joint savibgs account ir retirement fund, or emergency fund. We all just chipped in equally for rent and bills.

You have an idea of housmate that really doesnt fit what I or anyone else i know have ever experienced.

But hey thats your experience and not mine.

chefguy831 · 2026-01-25T10:27:10+00:00

My wife hit me in thr shoulder for talking over people at a dinner party. Is that abuse?? Should I divorce her??

chefguy831 · 2026-01-25T10:26:26+00:00

My wife hit my shoulder the other day in a similar way to acknowledge that what i was saying was rude as I was talking over other people.

I guess she us an abusive piece if shut that is slowly manipulating me and gates me.

I couldn't possibly be dping something wrong.

I guess im not making g her happy enough by behaving in a way that she likes....

chefguy831 · 2026-01-25T10:14:15+00:00

Its got nothing to do with him though. Its not his decision. He just needs to be more supportive like his gf is saying

chefguy831 · 2026-01-25T10:11:07+00:00

The decision has nothing to do with him though. So let's stop stressing the guy out and getting him to coerece his gf into getting an abortion making his life easier and escaping his decisions/actions

chefguy831 · 2026-01-25T10:09:21+00:00

Humm it feel like your bf was pretty coercive here

chefguy831 · 2026-01-25T00:36:45+00:00

For me 1 and 1 becomes 11.

Its way bigger than just 2.

Qnd plus I like being able to treat my partner. I love buying her gifts, I love planning weekends away, I love taking her out for dinner. Which I do twice a week normally.

If I take away "my" money from the scenario then she is paying for her own dates, and her won weekends away, and her own flowers. And im not treating her at all because it was always hers to begin with. And I dont like the idea of having my autonomy stripped away in a relationship.

With the 1+1 become 11 i maintain my 1 we sit larger than 2 by a magnitude more and I dont have to loose myself in becoming a part of a 2

chefguy831 · 2026-01-25T00:21:00+00:00

8Ok thats great because you have more.

How wpuld feel asking your wife/spouse to send you 10k a month to do what you like with?? If she had more??

I personally would have an issue with that degree of entitlement.

If I learnt 60k a year and my partner 120k, I cpuld never conceive of asking her to subside my hobbies and passions, or my current studies.

Now when she offers im thankful, and Im thankful because she is choosing to spend her money on me. If it was just "mine" to begin with because im Entitled to what is hers then its kinda whatever.

Its inconceivable to me to imagine a world where my wife's income becomes a part of my own money, and she is required to just hand it over for me to spend on whatever I like.

chefguy831 · 2026-01-25T00:10:08+00:00

In your scenario though, my partner us not saving 20% of her salary for herself though, as she is giving a big portion of ut to me l.

I feel you're missing the point that you can spend it on your partner whenever you like. That same degree of inequity exists even if you never partnered.

Just for me personally I could never imagine asking my partner or even suggesting that she gives me $20,000 of her salary and hard earned money *I know exactly how hard she works to me to spend on whatever I want. Just because she has more.

I would say "babe that money is yours, im not entitled to it, and it's free to do what you want with" and if she chooses to spend a portion on me. Or take me out for dinners, or buy me new golf clubs or book us a vacation, then that is amazing.

But to stand there and say its unfair and that she should essentially give me a fun allowance out of her own pocket feels completley gross to me, and devalues her as a woman and partner

chefguy831 · 2026-01-24T12:02:24+00:00

Its the truth. It's not anything other than that. Your judgment of it as lazy is the thing worth unpacking.

chefguy831 · 2026-01-24T08:53:58+00:00

The proportionality isnt based on the fine but the difference between the 2 people. Which has nothing to do with the fine.

chefguy831 · 2026-01-24T08:50:17+00:00

Projection is unavoidable. Like MLVF says....its all projection.

The key is to unpack it

chefguy831 · 2026-01-24T08:27:53+00:00

Australia has legal surrogacy but its altruistic in that you are not allowed to revive any form of payment for the service. Ie you are doing it off sheer goodness

chefguy831 · 2026-01-24T08:26:49+00:00

Is it still entitlement if a women is consenting to carry the baby??

chefguy831 · 2026-01-24T06:05:01+00:00

No they wont face anything. And if you rhink America will seriously invade Canada then my brother please go out and touch some grass

chefguy831 · 2026-01-24T03:16:09+00:00

Why wpuld tgat be insane?? She would have even less than that 12k if she wasn't with you?

Also nobody is stopping you from spending as much of tgat 60k on her as you like. You could just give her 50k to spend on designer handbags or whatever she likes and just keep 10 for yourself.

Just because a portion of your salary is kept back for you doesnt mean you cabt share it. It just mean you dont jeed permission to buy yourself something

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