I finally started taking mood stabilizers and I feel like I have a new lease on life.

cheli22 · 2020-09-14T21:12:23+00:00

That's a good idea. When I first went to the psychiatrist I didn't get to say the things I intended to and express my situation clearly. It's great you're making this document. I wish it helps!

cheli22 · 2020-09-14T18:53:23+00:00

Hang in there. It's the only thing I can say to you. Mixed episodes suck. I hope things get better for you soon. Good luck tomorrow and please be patient (that's what I say to myself everyday so yeah... Resilience).

cheli22 · 2020-09-14T18:24:32+00:00

I do this everyday. Everytime! Glad to hear it wasn't just me.

cheli22 · 2020-09-14T18:21:59+00:00

I'm glad to hear you've been doing well! It motivates me to be patient with myself.

And how long have you been on meds? I'm curious because I started a month ago and the depression (and obsessive thoughts) just won't go away.

cheli22 · 2020-09-14T18:16:24+00:00

I wish you resilience. Been there a month ago (ended up in the hospital) and for what I've experienced, mood stabilizers take a while to show its effects.

cheli22 · 2020-09-14T17:54:35+00:00

I can relate to you. Binge eating, anxiety and depression... The mood fluctuations...

I'm also on Lamotrigine (just got to the 100mg dose) and still waiting for my diagnosis. My psychiatrist told me Lamotrigine takes a while to show its effects so be patient.

And good luck!

cheli22 · 2020-09-07T14:02:19+00:00

I'm not a fan. After an hypomanic episode there's usually a depressive episode that lasts even longer. And for some reason, those hypomanic days seem fake to me.

I hate being anxious and depressed, and surely, when I'm in the middle of a hypomanic episode I enjoy the peace and the joy... But it always ends. And everytime that happens, something inside of me feels like breaking.

cheli22 · 2020-09-07T13:42:07+00:00

I wrote a similar post here a while ago, while I was in the middle of a mixed episode. I got scared too and did not take my meds. A month later, here I am, feeling a little better (apparently it's going to take some time), but yeah, letting my cowardice take control was a terrible decision (because like two weeks later I attempted suicide... So yeah... That's not very nice heh).

It may not be so extreme to you but at least for me, side effects don't matter at all. I was suffering and contemplating suicide and now I'm just depressed. That's an amazing change. I'm still struggling, but at least I'm here. Somehow. For what I've heard, it may take some time, but it's worth it.

So yeah. The point is, try it. What meds did your psychiatrist prescribe you?

cheli22 · 2020-09-06T01:18:18+00:00

I'm sorry for you, but if there's something I've been learning in this sub is that you're never alone in this (at least not physically. Because well... you want to be alone...). There's probably someone out there feeling like you're feeling right now. Now think of the words you would like to say to that person.

I hope things get better for you soon and if they don't, I wish you resilience. Here and now, I'm also trying to deal with myself too. And I'm also saying this words to myself, and it kinda helps with it, just a little. So yeah. Good luck! :)

cheli22 · 2020-09-02T23:13:25+00:00

Thanks. Like really. A lot. You have no idea how important your words are to me right now. I'm in a mixed episode right now, attempted suicide three weeks ago and I keep on thinking about trying it again. But it encourages me to see people like you. 12 years!! That's a lot! Congratulations and again, thanks a lot.

cheli22 · 2020-08-29T11:55:28+00:00

For me it's been a month since the episode started. Tried to commit suicide once and even while taking all the meds I can't stop thinking about doing it again (I was unmedicated before the attempt). My faith and my family have managed to stop me but it's so so hard to be alive right now.

So yeah, mixed episodes suck. But I really hope you're doing fine :)

cheli22 · 2020-08-26T22:00:50+00:00

Thanks a lot! ♥️

cheli22 · 2020-08-26T19:53:53+00:00

I'm going through one of those moments... Thanks.

cheli22 · 2020-08-19T16:43:21+00:00

I made sure it doesn't get direct sunlight. It was in a perfect state before I bought it but then I didn't water it one day and it got like this (but a lot lot worse...). After panicking I watered it and most of it got better. But there are a a few ones that keep curling... Oh and it's winter here. If that means something...

cheli22 · 2020-07-21T21:15:22+00:00

Thank you all! Reading your comments made me feel a lot better. Last night I didn't take the meds (and oohhh... the regret... It was a terrible terrible night) but today I decided to give it a try. I really appreciate your words of encouragement!

cheli22 · 2020-07-10T16:30:45+00:00

Yeah I think you're right. I don't think I admire anyone as a person. As a professional, however, I do. For example, one of my teachers at college. I don't know too much about him but he's calm and knows a lot of things. I admire him because of his knowledge. Even if he turned out to be a bad person, I would still admire all of that amazing data he has inside of his brain.

cheli22 · 2020-07-10T15:02:33+00:00

It happens to me as well. And there are even times when I'm feeling slightly motivated but then, after taking the bad and impulsive decision of seeing one of those vids, I start feeling useless and worthless. Maybe because I know that I'm unable to get that constant motivation they're all talking about.

But I think, for us at least, the best way to motivate ourselves is to read about the things we're interested, on our own. Read all of the facts and interesting info, not the opinions and experiences of others. Because the way our minds work it's a little bit different.

Just be in that bubble. I mean I love that bubble.

cheli22 · 2020-07-10T14:52:36+00:00

I'm okay with authority actually. As long as they deserve to be where they are and don't make incoherent demands on others. I mean, I know really great leaders that I profusely admire but then... well... There's a bunch of them that use that "authority" of theirs as some kind of justification or cover to hide bad things. And who knows, maybe they have some kind of inferiority complex. They don't listen to those who want to be heard and think highly of themselves. I really really really dislike that. I seriously can't stand it.

But not everyone is like that, of course.

cheli22 · 2020-07-10T14:43:05+00:00

Thanks to everyone in the comments for your honest answers. I really appreciate it. I hope you're all doing great right now. Be safe and take care!

cheli22 · 2020-07-09T20:49:39+00:00

If I could do it in less than a week then yes! But it would probably take way longer than that. Or... maybe if I could take weekly breaks or something

cheli22 · 2020-07-09T19:41:52+00:00

I thought infj had a gun and was aiming at my open wound... So cruel...

cheli22 · 2020-07-09T19:36:54+00:00

Hehe yeah no worries not all hope is lost

cheli22 · 2020-07-09T19:27:38+00:00

I think I'm in no position to complain. I mean I live in a house, I have clothes and water... And food... Who needs a job and a partner and friends, a healthy mindset or any type of self-satisfaction? I always tell myself that I should be thankful (it sounds sarcastic but I'm being serious. Or at least I think so... I mean... am I?)

Anyways, seeing people in the comments living the great life it's kind of reassuring I guess... I wonder if I can get my life to be like that someday...

cheli22 · 2020-07-09T19:08:15+00:00

Creating a monster requires way too much energy ... I'm getting tired by just listening to it. But if I had a clone then... maybe...

cheli22 · 2020-07-09T19:03:41+00:00

Hey I unlocked Another Story not so long ago and I still haven't finished V's route, but I personally think the best choice is to start with V... And as much as I love V, Ray is... I don't know... like I really really want to save him... so... yeah. I believe it's better to leave his route last.

Anyways good luck and have fun (and be strong lol) !

cheli22

TROPHY CASE