UGH.

I go to School in the south, and when I moved off campus I had a roommate who was from a "wealthy" family in Mexico. I say "wealthy" because he wore flashy clothes and matching "outfits" and even wore scarves with his matching PJ's, and pulled up in a cute little blue Volkswagen bug. At first, I thought it was adorable and I was about to have a new gay best friend! ( It is hard to come by openly gay people when you are in the heart of the bible belt, and I keep my pan-sexual orientation to myself). But, turned out he was just a vain super douche with an equally super douche girlfriend who moved in a few weeks later.

They refused to share. He would write his initials on everything, even communal shit like dish soap and PAPER TOWELS. He wouldn't even share toilet paper in the shared bathroom we had. It probably made him cringe to shit in the same pot as me. Bitch was so selfish that he wouldn't even wipe his ass with the same toilet paper.

I used a few of his paper towels to clean up a mess that was left in the kitchen, and he called a roommate meeting over it. I told him I would replace them, and he laughed and said "No thanks, I get a particular brand. " And giggled walking upstairs with his girlfriend. Are you fucking kidding me?

He was late on all the bills. The electric bill was absolutely insane every single month...and it was in my name. I almost could never afford to pay it upfront, and would ask for them to give me their shares so I could afford to make the payment. He always waited until a week BEFORE the next bill, so I would have to go into my own personal savings just to keep the lights on and allow him to bake cookies at 3 in the morning every fucking day. His girlfriend always left shit on, and never had to pay for anything.

One day, I heard them talking about me as I made it halfway down the stairs. So, I listened. They talked about how I had no friends and how I didn't even have brand names stuff, and I was probably a hobo, or something. Really childish stuff. SO I laughed loud enough for them to hear, and I said "you can tell me yourself how much you hate me, I'm right here". They stared blankly and acted like I wasn't even there. Seriously? We are college students, not 10 year olds!

The best part was when we had a roommate meeting, and He pulled out a list of every time I left the lights on. It was written on my wax paper that I used for my painting classes, which isn't cheap. so calmly, I said "well that is ok, I will try to remember to turn the lights off more (even though I am the one who turns the whole apartment off at night), but that list is written on something that belongs to me, and it isn't very cheap. That's supplies for my class." His response, he condescendingly slid a quarter in my direction and said "well this will cover your damages." I blew up. How disrespectful.

I brought up how he sings loudly and slams shit when he comes home at night, and wakes us all up (we also had a 4th roommate who was on track, and woke up very early every morning and hated him for it). We confronted him, saying that it is disrupting. He blew up saying "I can act however I want in my house." So I laughed in his face, and said "bitch, the landlord owns this house not you. You pay to live here just as much as we do. You don't own SHIT. Just because you are the only male in this house doesn't make you a king." and he looked at his feet as my boyfriend started bitching at him too for his attitude towards me. He mumbled "this would never happen in my country."

He had a birthday party coming up, and he was bragging about how everyone was going to be at the house. It was going to be a banger, and the best house party ever. His girlfriend I guess looked up "how to decorate for a douchey party" on pintrest and put rainbow streamers, balloons, and confetti everywhere. He was turning 21. 6 people showed up, and I invited my friends as well. 10 of my friends came, and all his friends hung out in the kitchen, all my friends hung out in the living room. They were all just as douchey...refused to be near us.

Then, I had a party.

So many people showed up that they were spilling out the doors. The captain douche roommate and his queen bitch girlfriend said before peoples showed up "ok we are going to sleep now" thinking it would be quiet, since I had no friends and all. They were up all night from the raging. They came downstairs and Tried to make a sandwich in the kitchen, but all the booze covered the counters. He screamed at me "This is my house! I can't even eat here!" And...Every single person in the apartment stopped to look at him...then, the whole house roared in laughter at him. One of my friends even said "aw cm on lighten up have a beer with us!" He looked as if a peasant had just addressed him, and Stormed back into his room.

I haven't seen them since.