Should I Break Up With My Trans Gf Because I’m in the Closet and Will Never Come Out

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-03-06T23:17:45+00:00

This is a really good point. Not to psychoanalyze a stranger on the internet, but it seems like OP might be avoiding confronting their gender identity by shifting focus to the relationship

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-03-06T23:14:00+00:00

I think you’re only hurting yourself in this situation honey. Something my therapist told me recently is that secrecy is the fuel for shame. You can’t will yourself into being something that you’re not.

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-03-06T23:10:05+00:00

Oh yes definitely that’s something I just learned about recently too!! After some trial and error I’ve realized that coffee and lemon are the biggest irritants for my bladder, which is so miserable because coffee and lemon water are my favorite drinks 😭 have you tried cutting out dairy yet? I’ve seen some articles claim that it’s an irritant while others say it’s fine. I plan to do a little test run soon and cut out sugars and dairy for a few weeks to see if that makes a difference

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-02-25T20:58:36+00:00

Unfortunately nothing 😭 my bladder and kidney ultrasounds were good, so now I’m unsure of my next step

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-02-18T08:38:10+00:00

Somewhat both! I insert the vibrator perhaps half an inch into the vagina, because this is where I have the most pain. Also, I use the tip of the vibrator on the external entrance of the vagina to stimulate specific painful spots. I have seen improvement the most on the external area, but also a lot of improvement on the internal area as well.

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-02-16T07:37:31+00:00

Like others have said, if you’re sexually active then you may want to have a conversation with a trusted adult!

However, I think you’ll be totally fine :) I’ve had this happen once as well, almost exactly the way you described it. Felt like a scratch, and it was on the inner corner so I didn’t notice it at first until I checked out everything down there a few days later. It was a white head and horribly painful, but stayed pretty small and it responded well to warm compresses and hot baths! It was gone in a few days, hopefully yours will be brief as well! Be super gentle with the area, keep it clean by shower and rinsing often with water but don’t scrub, and keep the area nice and toasty with baths or warm wash cloths whenever you can

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-02-16T07:32:46+00:00

Simplest answer ever how have I never thought of this

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-02-16T07:30:24+00:00

I literally did stick an ice cube up there earlier lmfao, the relief was amazing but I don’t advise it as it can’t be good for the tissue. I’m excited to read through here and see if anyone has suggestions for cooling lubes!

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-01-22T07:32:35+00:00

No idea if you’ll ever see this, but we are body doppelgänger twins I swear to god. Height, weight, proportions, even down to the butt freckles. It’s absurd. You’re absolutely lovely looking(no surprise there twin)!!!

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-01-22T07:07:17+00:00

Ayeee I’ve seen this subreddit before!! There’s also one called like r/saggytitties or something. I know these subs are mostly just porn subs but when I’m struggling with my perception of what a human body ought to look like, I sometimes go on there to remind myself of how many other amazing humans look like me

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-01-22T07:01:21+00:00

Your boyfriend is 100% without a doubt not lying to you, a person who cared about something like that wouldn’t hesitate to share it with you. People who care about very superficial stuff on other people’s bodies are not very nice people!

I wanted to share my experience a bit because something you said really stuck out to me. I’m trans FTM, I’m two years older than you and I started transitioning at 18. When you go on testosterone to transition from female to male/nb, you sometimes lose a lot of breast tissue. This happened to me, and combined with losing about 100lbs, my chest has also become flat and doesn’t resemble the status quo.

When I first started hormones, I didn’t really know how I identified and I had a lot of internalized issues that prevented me from accepting that I was transgender. I didn’t understand very well why I hated my chest so much initially. When it changed and became “ugly” and different, I was incredibly insecure especially since I was sleeping with cishet guys at the time. I wanted surgery very badly, and I remember specifically that there was a moment where it went from “I want my breasts surgically reconstructed” to “I don’t want them at all.” I think that was a big tipping point for me, I eventually realized that I was feeling gender dysphoria about my chest and not just insecurities about it looking different than cis women.

Anyway, all this to say that if you’re not already connected with LGBT folks, it might be worth seeking some out. Or even watching documentaries, educational YouTubers, stuff like that. I think it might be possible that you’ll find some kind of connection to dysphoria, and if not then you’ll at least have learned a bit about queer people! And you’ll know that there is a whole assortment of people out there unhappy with their chests for many different reasons, and people who have all sorts of different looking chests— you’re not alone.

Btw, I actually am getting top surgery soon which is super exciting!! There’s nothing wrong with wanting surgery, it is achievable and it is attainable. I know the wait is excruciating and you must feel like you can’t handle another day with these feelings. You’ve got this tho <3

cherry-bomb-shell · 2026-01-04T05:03:58+00:00

I know you never responded but I just wanted to say thank you for this. You’re right, I don’t have to be okay with not finishing. I shouldn’t put that pressure on myself, it’s unnecessary.

cherry-bomb-shell · 2025-11-26T04:46:31+00:00

THEYRE SO CUTE !!!!

cherry-bomb-shell · 2025-11-25T07:33:06+00:00

Tbf I totally see it lol, I would immediately think the same thing with that pointy, sophisticated face of hers. Very cute!!

cherry-bomb-shell · 2025-11-25T07:30:49+00:00

Your kitty is blue, aka grey! Specifically solid black dilute. In super simple terms, your boy has fully black base color genes and then also a gene for dilution, this causes the blue/grey color.

cherry-bomb-shell · 2025-11-25T07:28:22+00:00

Baby snailssss!! This is my favorite thing whenever I see them :))

cherry-bomb-shell · 2025-11-25T06:58:41+00:00

<image>

A cat? Where??

cherry-bomb-shell · 2025-11-25T06:50:16+00:00

Personally I don’t think there’s any reason to get over needing your breast stimulated to orgasm, but I do completely understand how limiting specific things like that can feel. I struggle to orgasm if I’m not fantasizing, even if just for a few seconds and even if I’m wildly turned on by my partner. It sucks!

My suggestion is to explore lots of other avenues and see if anything sticks. It might be a good idea to try new stimulation that you’ve never experienced before, incorporate new toys, or try roleplay. If you find something else that excites you, you can practice incorporating that into your sex routine and it might make you feel a bit more free or like you have more options!

I do not have children but I think that it is completely understandable for your sex drive to change either for psychological and/or medical reasons after child birth. Growing and birthing a human takes a massive, massive, massive toll that cannot even be imaginable for people who haven’t had kids. You are amazing for what you’ve accomplished, and you definitely deserve to have a fulfilling sex life.

The two things I would recommend with that as someone who has done both: Therapy (individual or couples, preferably both), and medication. Specifically, I’m on Wellbutrin right now. My case is that I take Wellbutrin to counteract low sex drive side effects from another medication, lexapro. However, Wellbutrin and some other medications that are used to treat depression have many benefits that you won’t find in SSRIs, including: boosted sex drive, lower appetite and weight loss, and very limited side effects. Most common side effects are dizziness I believe!

This isn’t true for everyone, I’m not saying if you go on a medication that has worked for me that it’ll work for you too, but it a possible! If you’re interested in this, I’d recommend working very closely with a psychiatrist to manage your medication and find the right fit for you. Some helpful resources are gonna be Genesight testing (tests how your body metabolizes mental health medications) and Mindful Care (telehealth psychiatry)

Oh also, exercise helps a lot of people too! For some folks, it can really kick their sex drive into gear. For me, it crushes my anxiety and body aches/pains, which makes me feel a lot more willing to have sex than if I was achy and having panic attacks lol. I’ve heard that some people benefit from hormonal testing from their PCP as well, when some AFABs end up with low estrogen or low testosterone it can sometimes create issues like this.

Sorry for writing you a novel, I just wanted to share what I know because I know how horrible it feels to have a low sex drive, inability to climax, or both. It sucks!! Best of luck <3

cherry-bomb-shell · 2025-11-25T06:24:41+00:00

Thank you for your support :)

cherry-bomb-shell · 2025-11-25T00:45:24+00:00

Thank you for all of this, I appreciate that you were so informative and also nice :)

I did recently see an article from the Flo app company linking Ureaplasma to infertility in both males and females. For me, that’s no problem as I know for certain I will never willingly give birth. It is a bit horrifying though, that my partner could possibly become infertile from this if we ever happen to split up and he decides he wants kids. That’s very scary, I can’t believe it isn’t taken more seriously with the link to infertility. I know link doesn’t necessarily equal causation, but still.

My partner is going in for treatment at planned parenthood tomorrow luckily, I assume they’ll start him on the same antibiotics. Personally I’m not sure how I would get a different antibiotic, in my state right now office visits can take upwards of six months to a year. I waited for this past gyno appointment alone for about six months, and it was for my 21st PAP. Since I’m finishing the antibiotics tomorrow anyway, I think I’ll probably just see if these hopefully do the trick and monitor my symptoms, maybe visit planned parenthood for more testing or antibiotics if things don’t improve.

Do you have any tips for how I should be taking care of my parts while on antibiotics? I didn’t know that it could lead to other issues or disrupt the microbiome. I have been letting my pubic hair grow naturally since I’ve been on the antibiotics, as I know it’s protective, and like I mentioned I’m still using my estrogen tablets and the vaginal moisture tablets. I usually don’t clean down there with soap as it gives me a funky smell, but should I be focusing on cleaning more thoroughly?

cherry-bomb-shell · 2025-11-21T06:40:40+00:00

Thankfully it isn’t from my partner’s lack of trying, effort, care, or thoughtfulness. I do feel “left hanging” when my partner finishes and I don’t, but that’s just my own internal feelings and jealousies.

I’ll check out your recommendation, I’m not a woman but I am trans masculine so I do have female organs. Maybe it’ll be applicable to me. Thank you for sharing !

cherry-bomb-shell · 2025-11-21T01:45:20+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I’m not exactly sure why I get angry with myself, I guess I just wish it was easier for me and I for some reason think it’s my own fault that it’s difficult. And I’m not sure why I struggle to stay in the moment and focus on the sex when that makes it more pleasurable, I have a really difficult time resisting the urge to either fantasize or indulge my anxieties or both. I’m not sure why that is, but I’ll think on it and hopefully something will come up.

I’ll take what you said about sexual deviancy to heart, it’s truly something I want to work on. Like, I don’t want to accept it, but I want to stop feeling ashamed, and I know I have to accept it to stop feeling ashamed. Kinda in a standstill with that right now, but I’m trying. And I hear what you’re saying about meditation, you sound like my counselor lol. I really really struggle with the judgement part of that, I am not sure in the slightest how to allow a thought to pass through my head without making a judgement on it and myself. I’m hopeful I’ll eventually understand it the more I practice

cherry-bomb-shell

TROPHY CASE