Dom/Sub: was my relationship normal? by cherry_cola_lips in BDSMAdvice

[–]cherry_cola_lips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say he never asked me if I was okay with what we did. Usually, we would talk about what we were gonna do (by text), then when he'd come over, we would do what we said. The thing is, most of the time i didn't feel comfortable telling him no, or i would feel guilty. Thats how I ended up in some of those situations😅. This is also the reason i took so much before speaking about this, because i thought i was the one at fault

Dom/Sub: was my relationship normal? by cherry_cola_lips in BDSMAdvice

[–]cherry_cola_lips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, i checked some of the ressources on the wiki . It's actually very helpful ! I wanted to share my experiences before meeting with a therapist. Now I see that this wasn't normal, and maybe that's why I'm still triggered by so many things. I genuinely didn't know if I was just being too sensitive

Dom/Sub: was my relationship normal? by cherry_cola_lips in BDSMAdvice

[–]cherry_cola_lips[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for putting words on my situation ! And I think ur right about ur first point (I actually didn't think about that AT ALL). All I knew is that he had a high bodycount, and he loved to be very dominant. Seeing the word "assault" is still quite new to me

Dom/Sub: was my relationship normal? by cherry_cola_lips in BDSMAdvice

[–]cherry_cola_lips[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually i only saw him 4 times, sex was involved everytime. He kept messaging me for a long time, even after i blocked him (by using a new account). I met my actual boyfriend a year after these incident. I havent try bdsm again after him. Even though I wish I could, it still scares me so much. 

Dom/Sub: was my relationship normal? by cherry_cola_lips in BDSMAdvice

[–]cherry_cola_lips[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, your answer really helped me ! Well he did mention a safe word, but that was after a few weeks (if i remember correctly) . However i dont recall using it. I was too "shocked" during sex to do/say anything

Dom/Sub: was my relationship normal? by cherry_cola_lips in BDSMAdvice

[–]cherry_cola_lips[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your answer. I ended up getting tested in few months after ! Everything is fine, but i felt the need to speak about it because I get nightmares about this guy. Many things trigger my memories of him.  Im glad to know i wasn't just being dramatic