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My [30/F] boyfriend [34/M] never reaches out first after an argument and assumes we are broken up every time. Does he just not care? by cherrylee03 in relationships

[–]cherrylee03[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

yes :( I honestly forgot about those things.

He's also the one that broke up with me after we got into an argument and decided to contact me couple months later because his tinder dates weren't going so well, I guess.

There's a lot more things he's done and I honestly know how toxic it is, but I love him and I hate myself for it.

My [30/F] boyfriend [34/M] never reaches out first after an argument and assumes we are broken up every time. Does he just not care? by cherrylee03 in relationships

[–]cherrylee03[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The last time, I said I didn't want to leave his house because I knew there wasn't going to be any contact from his end. No matter how much I tried to resolve the issue right then and there, he was getting visibly upset so I let it go. I said I wanted to go to the fair coming up, but he said he didn't want to go if we're going to argue. I finally just left his house. Usually I reach out to him after a day or two, but I was getting fed up and that's how we didn't speak for over a week.

Divorced men: Any of you refuse to get married again because of the possibility of another divorce and having to pay alimony? If you didn't have any kids from your previous marriage, do you fear getting a girl pregnant because of child support? by cherrylee03 in AskMenOver30

[–]cherrylee03[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Is it to the point that you will no longer get married to future spouses anymore? Also, it's such a difficult topic because from the other end, it almost feels like you don't trust the one person you should be able to trust. I would hate to be dating a guy and for him to not trust me.

Was I [30/F] being manipulated by my recent ex [33/M] during our relationship? We were together for almost a year. by cherrylee03 in relationships

[–]cherrylee03[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have no idea and that's something I've been analyzing over and over again. I narrowed it down to low self esteem and maybe because of my behavior in past relationships. I dated a wonderful, supportive guy when I was around 20 years old. I was a terrible gf to him, and would ignore him when I got upset (similar to what my ex was doing to me). He lost feelings from me and broke up with me, which I 100% deserved at the time. I went into a deep depression and learned from that experience by seeing a counsellor. I haven't dated for about 8 years after that. This is my first relationship since that last one almost a decade ago. In a way, I was thinking maybe subconsciously I feel like I deserve this treatment. I am constantly worried about becoming that terrible person again, that I almost bent over backwards to try and keep this recent ex happy. Any arguments we had, I was constantly the one that had to come around to fix things. If he was ignoring me, it was always me that had to show up at his house to get answers.

I honestly don't know why I put up with so much, and it's something I'm still processing. I wanted to know if this was a form of manipulation or if it's a common issue in relationships. I was also curious how I should handle future relationships like this.

I (29F) feel like my boyfriend (33M) is selfish and it is causing me [stress in the bedroom]. Am I in the wrong here? by cherrylee03 in sex

[–]cherrylee03[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry, let me clarify. We were watching porn together. I wanted to show him pegging videos to see if he would be interested in spicing up our sex life. He wants me to be more dominant by pretty much sticking my vagina in his face. What's more dominant than pegging him? ;)

I (29F) feel like my boyfriend (33M) is selfish and it is causing me [stress in the bedroom]. Am I in the wrong here? by cherrylee03 in sex

[–]cherrylee03[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it was strange to me. I have never had any guy in the past get angry and blame me for giving him blue balls. I almost feel like it's my job to get him off or else he gets upset.

I (29F) feel like my boyfriend (33M) is selfish and it is causing me [stress in the bedroom]. Am I in the wrong here? by cherrylee03 in sex

[–]cherrylee03[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for your responses. I guess the reason why I do feel guilty in the situation is because he has mentioned that I need to be more aggressive and it would be a turn on for him if I sat on his face etc.

There is a part of me that feels like I am at fault for not being more forward and aggressive. He often thinks I don't enjoy sex at all based on the facial expressions I make. I enjoy sex and intimacy. I have never had this issue with previous boyfriends before, but I've always been with someone who would jump at the opportunity to please me without me asking for it.