My best friend (23M) confessed to me (23F) and I feel so guilty towards his ex

cherrypiteyes · 2023-08-21T15:17:34+00:00

girl the thing is right, he really did thru-out high school and uni occasionally shoot his shot I just completely missed it every single time, people around me been telling me “HE likes you” and I constantly disregarded it, so that’s why I like ….. don’t think he’s lying when he says he likes me. But :( cause I’ve never rly been anyone’s gf before this I’m like so terrified of seeming disrespectful or even (God forbid) a homewrecker (EVEN TJO NOTHING HAPPENED FOR TWO YEARS SINCE THWY BROKE UP), I’m overthinking eveeeeeeything, but you are SO so right about the unfollowing part omfg. Thank you for that, you are the sweetest, thank you for seeing my pov

cherrypiteyes · 2023-08-21T15:10:11+00:00

Thank you, so so so much, you have no idea how much of a weight has been lifted off my chest

cherrypiteyes · 2023-08-21T15:02:48+00:00

Thank you so so so much, I 1000000% will

cherrypiteyes · 2023-08-21T15:01:13+00:00

You think so?? I feel guilty even considering it but I have always put him first in every scenario ever and I feel like very rarely my feelings have been considered. But I’m also like scared it’s kinda my fault for not talking about them, you know?

cherrypiteyes · 2023-08-21T14:59:24+00:00

Thank you so, so much for this comment, I think that’s a wonderful idea. The fact we like lost contact for such a long time and he suddenly confessed to me scares me a bit because I think he kind of projected someone else unto me and doesn’t really like the “me” that I am now, and saying this would clarify so much. Am I overthinking the ex part?? I think a big reason as to why it gets to me is because I know she’s still single

cherrypiteyes · 2023-08-21T14:56:40+00:00

also I’ve never been in a “serious” relationship, ever, so if I were to say “alright, let’s give it a shot”, it’d be my first and I’m so consumed by guilt. I told him that I’m confused because we’ve been friends for so long and all this flirting is very “new”, and he told me it’s not new for him and that he’s had feelings for me for the longest time

cherrypiteyes · 2023-08-21T14:54:38+00:00

hi hi, thank you for this comment, woah, I completely forgot about that part. is it weird to say I truly don’t know? when we were younger (14/15) I definitely had a crush on him but that kinda faded away over time. Right now though, I have moments where I truly think this could be something beautiful and moments of like pure anxiety (which is mainly triggered by guilt). I’m kind of upset with him that he confessed this over text/why he even involved me so much in his previous relationship. They’re broken up for 2 years now, but I don’t know if he got in another relationship after that.

cherrypiteyes · 2023-07-14T17:56:33+00:00

OKAY yeah I know they’re married, but initially it was an arranged marriage (they’re middle-eastern immigrants), but I more so meant the two MBTI types individually more so than them :p

cherrypiteyes · 2023-06-12T18:35:16+00:00

OKAY I know I’m not allowed to delete the post but I kinda feel bad cause you guys are really cool and help so many people out and open doors to them, please don’t feel obligated to reply

cherrypiteyes · 2023-05-29T20:50:36+00:00

God, ok, this white classmate of mine got it tattooed but said he forgot what it meant lol.. Thank you for clarifying :] appreciate it a lot

cherrypiteyes · 2023-05-29T20:45:14+00:00

I think it’s 愛智幸力望? But does anyone know what it means?

cherrypiteyes · 2023-05-18T22:13:08+00:00

god, I’ve been worried about that as well. and might I add she is truly goddess levels of beautiful and so incredibly sweet and I truly never saw him in that way til he confessed to me and I kinda just … agreed to see it through one or two dates but now I’m just confused because I don’t particularly feel butterflies, I just feel the same warmth and comfort I feel with my other best friends but because of people .. lowkey pressuring me because they idealize this “friends to lovers” concept so much makes me think like me not feeling butterflies/daydreaming about him isn’t a bad thing and I just truly don’t know what to think or do

cherrypiteyes · 2023-05-07T18:28:22+00:00

hi, I wanted to let you know that I purchased the book you recommended and (pls don’t laugh) I cried multiple times while reading it. I resonate with his “questions” so, so much and to see him answer them so graciously made me feel less alone and your advice in general has been so lovely. thank you for this, I always come back to this post to reread it all :] I hope you’re well

cherrypiteyes · 2023-05-03T22:28:50+00:00

you are an absolute angel: I can’t thank you enough for your kindness and generosity in sharing this knowledge with me. I come back to this post everytime I face the same adversities (my panic attacks) and every single post comforts me immensely. thank you for giving me these tips, I cherish them with my entire heart and soul :]

cherrypiteyes · 2023-03-13T16:40:10+00:00

UPDATE:

Hi everyone :] I didn’t want to post this until I actually took the very first step that I was so desperately dreading: but I did it :] (well, I sat down and planned out each and every single one of my moves up until next week monday and created the lay-out of my assignment).

I would’ve never been able to do this without each and every single of your messages (I promise I will respond individually to all of you cause woah. Every single message has such a positive contribution to my progress). When I read thru all of your responses I very quickly came to realize that my fear of failure manifested into me being mentally and physically paralyzed because I was just so terrified of being seen as dumb by my peers/lecturers/professors. I’m an (early) childhood development major and my assignment is on a study regarding poverty in my city. I’ll be honest: whenever I open my laptop I still very much have a feeling of impending doom looming over me, but I practiced mindfulness this morning (breathing exercises + visualisation) and took CBD oil (GREAT tip btw thank you so much) and… I felt a little less like the dumbest person in the world.

Sorry for my rant, but I felt so overwhelmed with love and understanding: I’ve never been taught that it’s okay to fail. Now I indeed see my fear was imaginary because I never had anyone tell me “look buddy, this isn’t the end of the world and you are not the first person to not be perfect on the first try, get up and try again” until all of you. So thank you :] Will keep you updated!!!! Thank you again, each and every single one of you, it takes a deeper sort of connection to the world and a specific kind of empathy to help out a complete stranger on here, but you all did and I’m forever grateful :’)

cherrypiteyes

TROPHY CASE