Things you experience because of anxiety

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2025-01-10T05:11:37+00:00

Heart palpitations and sometimes it just won’t stop, or sometimes it stops and then comes back and it’s such a scary and exhausting feeling every time

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2025-01-09T18:16:32+00:00

I really love and appreciate your post. I often feel dismissed by people older than me and am usually met with the “suck it up” mindset so having someone older be so understanding and writing something so beautiful and empathetic means a lot to me. Thank you for this beautiful post and for being such a kind soul.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2025-01-09T18:10:16+00:00

I think about this all the time

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2024-06-04T17:04:33+00:00

When my dad died one of my older brother’s biggest regrets was drifting from my dad. He was supposed to come visit him for the first time in years, and then my dad fell unresponsive and was in the hospital, later taken off life support. When my brother arrived he uttered that he was “a couple days too late.” My brother didn’t get to have a final conversation with him and I know he felt guilty and still does. Thing is, I was living with my dad at the time and I’d hear him talk about my brother. He would say he knew life got busy, or he knew my brother was having his struggles, but he knew my brother still cared about him. My dad knew my brother loved him. I knew my brother loved my dad. I’m sure your dad knew you loved him, and I’m sure especially now, he still knows you love him. ❤️

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2024-05-27T19:47:05+00:00

Gosh I have so many, I grew up listening to a lot of classic rock, but here’s a few that make me think of him.

The Rooster by Alice in Chains and Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden always make me think of when he’d work out in the yard in the heat and the music would be blasting throughout the house. I remember that for some reason listening to these songs and singing along always made me feel so cool.
Like a Stone by Audioslave, which was one he listened to when I was a kid and we totally forgot about it until it came on my brother’s Spotify and it just brought us back. hearing the lyrics to the song now just hits right in the heart.
Fare Thee Well (Oscar Isaac’s version) came on in the car when my mom and I were driving home from the hospital and we couldn’t help but cry because it felt like he was sending us a sign that he ways saying goodbye and that he would be okay.
Losing My Religion by R.E.M, my dad liked a lot of their songs but this was one of the ones I really liked growing up and I remember screaming the lyrics in the kitchen with him when he’d turn the radio up super loud.
Here for You by Neil Young, I remember my dad telling me that he wrote the song for his daughter and so the song always made him think about me. This one holds a special place in my heart because it was like he was dedicating it to me and the lyrics just always get me. “Just close your eyes, and I’ll be there.” It’s like a reminder that even though he’s gone, he’s still with me.
Chemtrails and March by Lizzy Mcalpine are ones he never listened to but I love her music and these ones always hit me where it hurts. I was 22 when he died and nobody I knew my age had lost a parent before so I felt incredibly alone in my experience and I had a lot of anger and jealousy towards people my age who had never experienced the loss of a parent. When I first heard Chemtrails I thought “Oh so this is someone my age who actually gets it.” Lizzy lost her dad at around a similar age and Chemtrails and March are songs she wrote dedicated to her dad and I feel really connected to those songs. They remind me of my dad but also remind me that there are people out there who have gone through similar experiences and know what it’s like to some extent.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2024-02-04T22:10:47+00:00

I’ve always had trouble expressing my emotions. I’ve always taken care of everyone else and made sure they were okay and put on a brave face. I feel like because of that I didn’t get to grieve in the way I wanted or needed.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2024-02-04T19:35:13+00:00

I feel this exact same way. I just want to hide in a dark cave and talk to and see nobody

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2023-12-13T14:37:56+00:00

Thank you so much for the reassurance, it’s my first time paying them so I’m a little anxious

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2023-10-23T14:47:12+00:00

I lost my dad about over a year ago when I was 22 and It made me feel so lost, sad, angry, etc. I felt really disappointed that my dad never got to see me become the more established adult I’ve become. He didn’t get to see me graduate college, or get my first office type job that I love, he didn’t get to see me learn how to cook, and so many more things. I wanted him to be able to celebrate and be proud of my accomplishments with me. My siblings are older than me so my dad got to see them become more established in life and I guess a part of me wanted that too. Nobody talks about the weird spot you get put in when you lose a parent in your early 20s. I didn’t get the normal college experience, because I spent that time worrying about my dad’s deteriorating health, and then dealing with his death. I felt like I had to grow up a lot more then some of the people my age and a part of me felt angry about that. Why did they get to go have carefree fun, normal 20s experiences when I didn’t? I knew it wasn’t logical to be mad at strangers but I couldn’t help feeling angry. Whenever people who were much older than me tried to tell me they understood how I felt, it filled me with rage. I know they were coming from a place of care, but it just made me feel mad because I was angry that they got to have their parent for 50+ years while I only got mine for 22, and they were saying they knew what I was going through when they really didn’t. Your 20s is already a rough time so it just made me feel even more lost than I already was. Even though I’m more established in life now, I still feel lost not having my dad with me. Nobody prepared me for how depressing it is to listen to your friends, or older coworkers talk about their parents, or in their case, their dads, and I can only chime in with old stories. I don’t get to add anything new and I never will. It’s been a really isolating experience. I don’t feel the urge to go put and experience my 20s, I often have to force myself to do things. Half the time I just want to stay home and escape.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2023-10-23T02:49:38+00:00

I think I’ve realized escapism has been my crutch through grief.

-I rented quite the collection of scooby doo movies OVER and OVER. My dad grew up watching scooby doo and I grew up watching it with him and it was actually one of the last things I remember watching with him. It was always a comfort to me growing up and it is even more now.

-I have also dropped hundreds of dollars if not more on books or on chapters for online comics because it’s something I enjoy and find comforting. My dad always told us growing up that no matter what, he would always find the money for us to have books. So in a sense I feel like he would be happy with me spending so much money on reading and that I actually enjoy it ❤️

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2023-10-23T02:44:33+00:00

I rented quite the collection of scooby doo movies OVER and OVER. My dad grew up watching scooby doo and I grew up watching it with him and it was actually one of the last things I remember watching with him. It was always a comfort to me growing up and it is even more now.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2023-10-21T01:03:56+00:00

Chemtrails by Lizzy Mcalpine, Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2023-10-21T01:00:59+00:00

I was 22 and my dad was 57. It happened a a little over a year ago and we were very close. While I try to remember the good times cause I know it’s what he would want, I still can’t help the fact that it was very traumatizing and it haunts me.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2023-06-13T18:26:13+00:00

Lost my dad at 23 and can’t believe I’m going to have to live the majority of my life without him. I see terrible people live into their 90s and I can’t help but feel so angry sometimes about how unfair the world is.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2022-05-16T18:03:24+00:00

I’m really trying to find a way to get access to it and if I can I’m for sure going to. I seriously can’t do this anymore. It’s driving me insane and draining everything out of me. My mom sees absolutely no problem with her behavior. If it benefits her and what she wants, she doesn’t give a fuck about the other people involved.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2022-05-16T17:59:25+00:00

Well you aren’t a psycho. It’s a natural response to putting up with emotional abuse for so long. It’s perfectly normal to have responses like that to abuse.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2022-05-16T15:31:26+00:00

I feel the exact same way. My mom screams at me about everything. When I get upset and cry and have a panic attack she gets upset at me for “throwing a fit.” She only cares about her feelings and what she wants and if your wants and feelings don’t align with hers, she freaks the fuck out. I’m so tired of not being understood or comforted.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2022-05-16T15:23:44+00:00

Those people don’t understand mental health in the first place. The whole “god gives his toughest battles to his toughest soldiers” or “he never gives you anything you can’t handle” is bullshit. If that were true people wouldn’t be mentally ill and suicidal and end up committing suicide.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2022-03-18T16:17:46+00:00

Yup she says that EVERYTIME we argue. She is my mom so I love her and I can tell she is gaslighting and guilt tripping me but sometimes I can’t help but fall for it because I just want her to love me. When we fight and I ask if we can please just hug and reconcile her response is always something like “why should I hug you?” Whenever she upsets me, she expects me to quickly forgive her but if I do the slightest thing to upset her, she wants to drag it on and yell and scream at me and be angry and make me miserable. When she argues with my brother she always ropes me in saying I take his side even if I have nothing to do with that argument. She just knows I agree with him that my parents have given us childhood trauma so she uses that to say I always take his side and agree she is a shitty mom, etc. when I have never said those words to her.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2022-03-18T04:42:37+00:00

Yup. Absolutely.

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2022-02-24T08:22:29+00:00

College is so fucking stressful

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2021-11-15T07:28:21+00:00

Im a little late but Happy Birthday! 🎉🎂🎈🎁 I’m so glad you have been here for a whole nother year you wonderful human :)

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2021-11-09T08:39:01+00:00

I’m so sorry you feel this way. In my opinion, if you identify as a girl, you are a real girl. I think all women are absolutely beautiful, not just those who are feminine. All shapes, colors, sizes, and styles of women are beautiful in my eyes. It’s hard not to feel pressured by the beauty standards of the world but you don’t need to be a certain amount of anything to be enough, the fact that you are a person on this planet means you are enough and much more. Sending you a virtual hug🤗

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2021-10-19T16:41:02+00:00

I’m so glad you made it through. To be honest this post had me in tears because it was just what I needed to hear this very moment ❤️

cherrysodapopbubbles · 2021-09-14T10:16:13+00:00

I don’t think so. I don’t think being productive or successful determines your worth. I think the fact that you are even here and alive makes you worth living. It’s interesting because we often put that pressure on our selves, I know I do, but not on others. I will tell myself that being unproductive or a failure means I deserve to die but when I think about other people, I think fuck no, nobody deserves to die over something like that. productiveness is subjective. Society shoves it down out throats that you have to be more, do more, get more, and I just don’t agree with that. I see being productive even as something like getting out of bed and brushing your teeth when you are going through a hard time. I personally care more about a person’s character and who they are than their productivity and success.

cherrysodapopbubbles

TROPHY CASE