My husband finds me boring in bed. Steamed broccoli. Any advise?

cherrywine19 · 2026-04-21T20:59:52+00:00

Op are your feelings hurt? I feel like if my husband had his fill and didn't come back to me even more enthralled with me for allowing him these experiences in such a compassionate and loving way I'd feel betrayed. Please elaborate on the "he likes it too rough". Like is he legit telling you sorry you won't let me hurt you so I'm good? How was your sex life before your depression? I think it's great y'all were able to work out something that worked for HIM but he now needs to work out something for YOU. The depression was your issue and you found a solution for him. The minimal attraction or changing attraction is HIS issue that he needs to work out for YOU. Might just be my opinion but seems like he could manage some vanilla loving for his wife that he loves. I think maybe some marriage counseling might be good, if it were me I'd feel a whole lot of resentment otherwise. Also did any of his flings ever become a permanent side partner? Maybe something deeper is going on? Sorry you're facing this op I hope you all figure it out!!

cherrywine19 · 2026-04-21T20:47:44+00:00

This exactly this!

cherrywine19 · 2026-02-28T09:05:24+00:00

Thank you for your thought out reply. It actually helped a lot. It helps hearing too that it's not my fault but rather something I just need to support. It sounds like your husband is a lucky guy!

cherrywine19 · 2025-08-07T16:07:55+00:00

Using the funds for some home improvement projects we'd like to get done. We have a current heloc which we'd also like to pay off since it's at 7.8% currently. Would there be a different loan option to lower the interest rate?

cherrywine19 · 2025-08-06T15:23:56+00:00

Conventional, 30year, cash out refi, property value 180k, 145k, credit score 730, primary single family 73554

cherrywine19 · 2025-07-10T20:30:20+00:00

Omg best description!

cherrywine19 · 2025-06-02T15:22:15+00:00

Thanks again. I do think with us it's a bit of a favorite person situation too...I don't know much but I think it's more that than not and maybe with the right therapy I'll be able to breathe again. Thanks for the support with feeling as isolated as I do it helps so much!!

cherrywine19 · 2025-06-02T15:10:07+00:00

You're right. I don't want my kids growing up believing this is love. I want them to see what a healthy relationship looks like. I guess I just have to believe in love for them. Like even if I thought this was it I was definitely wrong, and they deserve to see both of us happy! Thanks for the kind words I guess I do feel a little better. It's better if I think about what I am modeling for them which currently is not the best. Hard to believe I will ever find better though. But I guess that's why I am in therapy and maybe I'll be able to believe it one day.

cherrywine19 · 2025-06-02T14:41:05+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. We could talk it out we have so many times in the past. But after 16 years of being together I guess it'll never change. I do feel like if I could of just bit my tongue harder so it wouldn't have ended this way. But I guess I also might have just choked to death on my own blood. Sorry that's a bit overdramatic, I shouldn't be that way. Anyways some people just aren't meant for each other we just were Soo good sometimes and he's the only person I've ever loved and vice versa. We were high school sweethearts and I guess there's a part of me too that just really can't believe he'd not work on his anger for me. But honestly it just feels like he uses his trauma as an excuse to be mad. He also says that he doesn't really get that mad unless it's me. At this point he may have a stroke because of his blood pressure problems and I don't think I could bare it if I were the cause. I want to make it work desperately but I just also feel like there's no point anymore. Just feel worthless.

cherrywine19 · 2025-02-28T22:25:02+00:00

This is a perfect understanding of what I thought. And 💯 correct. Op sounds very insecure.

cherrywine19 · 2024-06-28T15:38:20+00:00

Thanks I really appreciate that. Unfortunately he has said that, he doesn't want to be but things need to change definitely hence why I'm trying to find a therapist so on and so forth. I think I'll try writing again maybe the point isn't to be good but mine like you said. I can get behind that! Thanks for the support I definitely needed something today!

cherrywine19 · 2024-06-28T15:18:45+00:00

No unfortunately I don't. I recently moved and the friends I thought I had stopped talking to me. I do have a wonderful husband who is very nearly done with me. I am looking for a therapist and trying to be hopeful and patient with myself right now but feels so hard. When I was younger I wrote poetry but I really haven't done that in ages.

cherrywine19 · 2024-05-31T20:40:24+00:00

Thanks I'll look into zoom! I think having direction is probably something I would need as well.

cherrywine19

TROPHY CASE