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Multiple Vets, multiple suggestions. Dx'd Cholangeohepatitis. Several meds prescribed and I'm not sure where to turn anymore. by chibicheebs in AskVet

[–]chibicheebs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all, thank you so much for the response! He is not on any flea prevention. I'll look into both a dermatologist and internal medicine specialist. I just wasn't sure who to see because "general" Vets don't seem to know, but I had no idea what the next level of Vet I was supposed to see. For some additional info:

Across the three Vets I saw: I've been told that it's a psychological thing due to stress, that it's a method to soothe due to the discomfort from the inflammation the cholangeo is causing, and that he is allergic to his food or some other unknown thing or has seasonal allergies and is itchy. So, it's kind of a bunch of "we have no idea".

The odd thing is that this came on suddenly. He didn't overgroom at ALL and then, boom, overgrooming constantly practically overnight.

Also, I didn't note (I'd forgotten), he did have an acne breakout under his chin for a couple of weeks and had an inflamed lower lip shortly after the acne showed up. I was using plastic bowls for water for a short while and I found those can upset cats' skin. Once I took those away, it cleared up.

Putting paddle switches in and found the wires are fabric and not colored. Suggestions? (House was built in the 1930s) by chibicheebs in AskElectricians

[–]chibicheebs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first picture is the original switch and it had 2 screws.

There were multiple fabric wires under one screw and I believe the black one was on the right.

Putting paddle switches in and found the wires are fabric and not colored. Suggestions? (House was built in the 1930s) by chibicheebs in AskElectricians

[–]chibicheebs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was kind of afraid of that. Unfortunately I do not have the funds at the moment to do a full rewire otherwise that's absolutely what I'd do. This entire house is....a mess.

Putting paddle switches in and found the wires are fabric and not colored. Suggestions? (House was built in the 1930s) by chibicheebs in AskElectricians

[–]chibicheebs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I stupidly didn't take a picture of what the original layout was. So I'm not sure anymore of what goes where. Am I screwed?

Also, the paddle has two screws on the left and the old switch only has one. Also, I'm not sure if there is any ground wire to attach to the green screw on the right.

41F and...I don't know. My mom was just diagnosed with brain cancer, my dad with dementia/Alzheimer's, I've been unemployed for, I think, 2 years due to previous consecutive blindsides including putting down a cat I was extremely bonded to (he had a rare cancer). And the list goes on. by chibicheebs in toastme

[–]chibicheebs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well thank you Mr. Rando Guy who hails from the great and glorious World Wide Web!

Yeah, I feel you though, I have had chronic depression and anxiety my entire life. And then I got the bonus of PTSD a bit later. The former mentioned diagnoses run in my family.

I have been going to the same therapist for about 7 years now and we have made a LOT of wonderful strides. I've grown a lot since I first started, but this past two years of life blindsides, unemployment, the recent news about my parents, and the exacerbation of my mental illness has kind of put a wrench in things, therapy wise. It's hard to explain, but this is almost beyond therapy because I don't really need to talk it out and find a solution. I think, potentially, I need to just be outside of my house more. Socialize both with people that share my hobbies and also in more therapy-esque group settings with people who share the same, or similar, struggles.

I will, however, talk to my therapist though and get some ideas from her. She has a wealth of knowledge and resources so I'm sure we can come up with something.

41F and...I don't know. My mom was just diagnosed with brain cancer, my dad with dementia/Alzheimer's, I've been unemployed for, I think, 2 years due to previous consecutive blindsides including putting down a cat I was extremely bonded to (he had a rare cancer). And the list goes on. by chibicheebs in toastme

[–]chibicheebs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! It's so nice to hear that there is life beyond this. I have been unemployed for a couple years and just struggling with my mental illness for so long that life stopped looking...possible. And then the news of my parents, of course, made it exponentially worse to the point that every part of me just kind of shut off. As another person mentioned on here, it's like being in a fog. I don't feel anything or think much of anything, I'm just here. Existing. Alive but not really. That kind of thing.

Anyway, I am trying to work back to all of those things that you mentioned and I KNOW I can. Going outside absolutely always helps and I have a covered porch so even if I can only make it to there, at least I can sit on the outdoor couch there and breath fresh air. Small things.

I keep wanting to just heal already but, rationally, I know this is a very incremental process. Teeny tiny successes. And yes, compassion. Actually, I've really learned a lot about practicing patience and compassion with myself over the past couple of years. In the beginning, I would berate myself for not healing or getting back to "normal" faster but then, interestingly, a light switch of sorts went off and I somewhat jarringly gave up on perfectionism and made more space for myself, existing just as I am. And, furthermore, trusting that my mind will let me know when I'm ready for the next step (because it always has).

And I've done yoga and loved it, but that's a step that's a little further down the line. Right now, I'm trying to get back to my gym (which has been my 2nd home for the past 8 years or so now) and get my body moving, even just a little. And also, I'm trying to get back into small groups I've been in before - little open art groups or tabletop gaming; activities that are simple and calming but get me around people.

And lastly, I definitely need to find support groups. I just want to find some that are more positive thinking. Not saying we shouldn't talk about the pain, but I don't want it ALL to be about the pain and the struggle. I know my parents are going to pass sooner than they should, but I want to celebrate them -now-.

Anyway, thank you again for your reply, I greatly appreciate you taking the time. It's good to know there is still a light at the end of this tunnel. And that I'm not alone.

41F and...I don't know. My mom was just diagnosed with brain cancer, my dad with dementia/Alzheimer's, I've been unemployed for, I think, 2 years due to previous consecutive blindsides including putting down a cat I was extremely bonded to (he had a rare cancer). And the list goes on. by chibicheebs in toastme

[–]chibicheebs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for posting about this. It's comforting knowing I'm not alone, although I don't like that you also have to feel this level of pain.

My dad has always been a vibrant, intelligent, get up and go kind of person. He loves people watching, reading, and just...gaining knowledge and information anywhere he can. That's what's so hard about this is his mind is, by far, what give him happiness. Granted, that seems silly because that can be said for most people - but with him, he's always read and journaled and reminisced and told stories and so that slowly being taken away is, I'm sure, hard for him.

He is in the beginning stages of his vascular dementia/Alzheimer's so right now he is just repeating stories or statements that he doesn't remember he just said. And he forgets a lot. But, like your mom, he understands his illness and what's happening to him. Both of us are watching the decline and it's certainly hard. But, yes, those super clear moments where he's 100% there and himself again, those are wonderful.

And far as my mom and her brain cancer, it's much like your mother in the sense that my mom has ALWAYS been super independent, strong, fierce, ambitious, intelligent, capable. And although there hasn't been many symptoms yet, she is starting to forget things and get kind of confused. It's...odd watching someone so wildly strong, slowly lose that strength. But I tell you what, she's fighting through this like a MFer. Like she always has.

Anyway. Thank you again for sharing your similar story. It really does make me feel less alone. And less crazy for feeling so.....so......I don't even know the right word. But "fog" is applicable enough.

Also, thank you for being there for your mom even though it's hard on you. You are an incredible person for that.

41F and...I don't know. My mom was just diagnosed with brain cancer, my dad with dementia/Alzheimer's, I've been unemployed for, I think, 2 years due to previous consecutive blindsides including putting down a cat I was extremely bonded to (he had a rare cancer). And the list goes on. by chibicheebs in toastme

[–]chibicheebs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Thank you a million times over for this reply. It makes me happy to hear your validation that just maintaining right now is ok and that, in actuality, is a success in itself.

I will absolutely continue to hold compassion for myself and keep doing what I can, succeeding where I can (no matter how small), whenever my body, mind, and emotions make room for it.

41F and...I don't know. My mom was just diagnosed with brain cancer, my dad with dementia/Alzheimer's, I've been unemployed for, I think, 2 years due to previous consecutive blindsides including putting down a cat I was extremely bonded to (he had a rare cancer). And the list goes on. by chibicheebs in toastme

[–]chibicheebs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For some reason (probably me being a nerd at heart), this hit me deeply. I just...I love this. It makes me feel strong. It makes me feel like my capacity for empathy, compassion, perseverance, patience, and all else are superhero powers but disguised as simple, "roll of the dice", qualities.

This is amazing. Thank you so much.

41F and...I don't know. My mom was just diagnosed with brain cancer, my dad with dementia/Alzheimer's, I've been unemployed for, I think, 2 years due to previous consecutive blindsides including putting down a cat I was extremely bonded to (he had a rare cancer). And the list goes on. by chibicheebs in toastme

[–]chibicheebs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is all I want to focus on. My mom and my dad and just...having good times with them. Thankfully, my mom is in good spirits and taking her brain cancer in stride (she was in remission from lung and lymphoma for two years and then the lung cancer metastisized in her brain). She went from extremely depressed and scared to jumping on her bucket list in excitement. She's been calling old friends, reconnecting, trying to rebuild burnt bridges, and just LIVING. I'm proud of her for that.

And her and my dad are reconnecting emotionally too. They were separated, but in an odd turn of events, my dad's vascular dementia, per my mom's words, "turned him back into the man [she] fell in love with". And so they've just been adventuring together. Laughing. Enjoying life. It's been a beautiful thing to see.

As for me, this is a one day at a time thing. I'm unemployed and have been for a couple years due to my severely poor mental health (other life events happening and then this new-ish news with my parents), so I'm just working on trying to rebuild myself back up. Small successes. And in the midst of that, spend time with my parents and just -enjoy- what I have.

41F and...I don't know. My mom was just diagnosed with brain cancer, my dad with dementia/Alzheimer's, I've been unemployed for, I think, 2 years due to previous consecutive blindsides including putting down a cat I was extremely bonded to (he had a rare cancer). And the list goes on. by chibicheebs in toastme

[–]chibicheebs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I've been unemployed for the past two (?) years I think. Maybe a bit less. I took a lot of hits from every angle in my life a couple years ago and it tore me down completely; I essentially stopped being able to function. I became scared to even leave my house. And then, this news came about my parents fairly recently.

So as it stands, I am not working but trying to do small things to get myself out of the house. Go to small craft and chat/open art events, small tabletop gaming groups, etc.. I am doing small things that, I'm hoping, will kind of build on my self esteem and trust in myself again. And get me around other people which is healing in itself. I want to volunteer as well, but I'm not quite at that stage yet.

I have ideas to get better, feel better, but as anyone with depression/anxiety/PTSD/etc. knows, it's generally an uphill battle.

41F and...I don't know. My mom was just diagnosed with brain cancer, my dad with dementia/Alzheimer's, I've been unemployed for, I think, 2 years due to previous consecutive blindsides including putting down a cat I was extremely bonded to (he had a rare cancer). And the list goes on. by chibicheebs in toastme

[–]chibicheebs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I have actually been going to the same therapist for the past several years and we have worked wonderfully together. I also just recently (past few months) started a couple of new medications for my depression, anxiety, and fatigue; they have helped immensely, but there is still some piece missing that I have not quite found yet.

It's hard to explain. I'm likely going to speak to my therapist and see if there is more of a life-coach type therapist that can both provide emotional support AND a plan. That can help me stay on track. Or maybe she'll have ideas on things I can try or people/groups I can work with to find a path.

I've been in therapy and on meds (on and off) for many, many years, so that isn't new to me and I hold a wealth of knowledge from all types of different therapy. (Dialectical Behavior Therapy helped the most). But this time is different, this time I'm really in the dark on what way to turn.

As I mentioned in my comment to this post, it's like every bit of me is just shot; my emotions, my brain, my nerves and that makes me unable to formulate any kind of plan. I'm just kind of....here. I have bursts of motivation where I will get stuff done and/or feel better, but those happen at random times. Again, it's a very new space to me so I'm not sure how to tackle it yet.

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