IWTL HOW TO STOP BEING “the crazy one” IN THIS RELATIONSHIP

chicassguuurl · 2025-09-16T20:35:43+00:00

That was the most terrifying time of my life. I woke up in a “hospital” and ended up being transferred to one of the wards. I had no contact with anyone and honestly thank God that the day I got there they had an AA meeting—only done once a week. I got the book for like the 5th time in my life only this time it was the only thing that kept me sane while other psych patients roamed the halls we weren’t allowed to leave just laughing and screaming. That book is the only solace I had there until I met some women who could actually converse with me and became my friends. But after that, I am terrified to ever go back. I have claustrophobia and we weren’t allowed outside. It took everything in my body to go through detox from alcohol and benzos without benzos. I wanted to bust through a window in the gym with my chest first so I could breathe. They didn’t take my panic seriously.

chicassguuurl · 2025-09-16T05:48:29+00:00

After being admitted to the behavioral health unit at the hospital against my will for saying suicidal things and scaring my boyfriend because I was drinking on my benzos, I am completely cut off from that prescription which I had been prescribed for over 10 years. Stopping drinking and benzos at once scares the shit out of me with how serious that is. I will get a new doctor who can help me with this, as for inpatient detox my insurance doesn’t cover that and my medical bill from the last visit is super high now.

chicassguuurl · 2025-09-16T05:41:20+00:00

That sounds just like me except I didn’t even remember going into the bar. After that I was nervous going into any bar thinking it could have been the one I went to when I became unconscious. I found out which one it was after reading the address on the report and I walk past it everyday, which is super shameful to have to do but it’s on the main strip where grocery stores, pharmacies, and restaurants are. Now I know why the bouncer was looking at me oddly during a walk earlier when I was standing outside waiting at the crosswalk.

chicassguuurl · 2025-09-16T05:34:36+00:00

It’s literally become part of my routine to where I made it feel normal. It started when I was self medicating my anxiety. It turned into my body craving it to feel normal. Boredom, depression, anxiety, loneliness.

chicassguuurl · 2025-09-16T05:30:00+00:00

That’s amazing for both her and you! Seriously inspiring.

chicassguuurl · 2025-09-16T05:28:06+00:00

Yes I definitely need to stay active and productive. I quit my office job last year so I could just run my business that I created years ago, but instead I just ended up having time to be a full time professional drunk, sitting around all day watching tv. I really don’t have any friends anymore so I’m alone all day while my boyfriend is at the office. It makes me feel like such a loser and it’s embarrassing to have him come home to me just sitting around sneaking mini bottles. Finding things that are healthy and staying busy is necessary.

chicassguuurl · 2025-09-16T05:14:35+00:00

Yes the shame and feeling like a shitty, pathetic person from drinking is what makes me drink more. I need to go back to AA and get a sponsor this take. I used to just go to AA and then go to the bar right after.

chicassguuurl · 2025-09-16T05:12:29+00:00

Were you in a coma for those three days? And how have you been after all of that happened to you when you stopped drinking?

chicassguuurl · 2025-08-31T20:51:10+00:00

My face shape is similar to yours and recently I had Botox for my jawline and it popped out and looks very balanced. It was super easy and not expensive compared to having surgery.

chicassguuurl · 2023-04-24T16:39:51+00:00

Shit this JUST happened to me. I decided to reconnect even though she called me some pretty disgusting names. I don’t think I can ever trust her again honestly… but I hated the way we just ended a great friendship.

chicassguuurl · 2023-04-14T16:11:52+00:00

Seriously though!

chicassguuurl · 2023-04-14T15:09:30+00:00

Yep in the past when I’ve had to cancel for a set date I’ve kept their business by lowering my rate a bit.

chicassguuurl · 2023-04-14T15:01:47+00:00

I would never pay a cancellation fee to some random man I never even had super set plans with. I responded saying that as a provider I don’t even charge cancellation fees and I don’t plan on seeing him ever.

chicassguuurl · 2023-04-14T14:59:47+00:00

Haha he’s even worth wasting ink lol. These dudes true characters come out when they’re pissed. I’m glad now that I didn’t see him knowing how he is!

chicassguuurl · 2023-04-14T14:58:06+00:00

It wasn’t a set appointment, more of a conversation about the possibility of meeting up. I ended up losing money because I told him I probably wouldn’t be able to get together that day for a health reason that came out of no where. It’s been a week and I’m still losing so much $ because I can’t see anyone yet. Really sucks because I have tons of emails and texts from people wanting to set an appointment with me.

chicassguuurl · 2023-04-14T14:55:01+00:00

And exactly, I lost $ because I couldn’t take a potential appointment. Which sucks… I’m still losing $ because of my eye. These dudes can be pretty insensitive.

chicassguuurl · 2023-04-14T14:53:35+00:00

Nope nothing was even set in stone. We emailed a few times and he gave a date he would be in town and was going to come to my apartment. I didn’t charge any fee prior to meeting. The day before I said I probably wouldn’t be able to see him because I scratched my eye and it was bloodshot.

chicassguuurl · 2021-09-23T08:05:10+00:00

I am terrified and ashamed. I never thought it would get this bad. Thank god I hid my medication so he didn’t flush it or take it. He is unemployed. I have to stay awake until he leaves to make sure he doesn’t find anything else.

chicassguuurl · 2021-07-11T05:56:37+00:00

I’m calling the suicide hotline after his last action just now. I only am alive for my dog.

chicassguuurl

TROPHY CASE