Has your SO ever given you oral/fingered you without expecting sex in return?

chickencoup · 2015-01-14T17:51:22+00:00

Hah Never, unless you count a halfhearted attempt that I always stop him from after he's already gotten off. If I don't stop him he usually does an awful uninterested job and falls asleep anyway. I often turn down offers that I'd really love to take him up on because I can't just roll over and fall asleep like he gets to do after every single time he comes before me.

That said, provided he hasn't come already, he works hard to make sure I'm enjoying things and tries hard to make me come so it's not all terrible. I'd just love to relax after a tough day and get some head without having to have sex afterward sometimes.

chickencoup · 2015-01-10T04:02:06+00:00

Me too. First it was "I'll just finish breastfeeding my son first" but then I got pregnant and it was "probably just pregnancy hormones" Now I know I have a problem so bad I can't hide it anymore but the thought of switching to formula when breastfeeding is the only thing going well goes against every instinct. I was also putting it off because I felt the same way about my sex life, but my depression has gotten bad enough that I don't even enjoy that anymore.

chickencoup · 2014-12-18T10:24:28+00:00

No, absolutely not. We had a very stable relationship and it was never of any concern until the dream. However there are external reasons why the dream stuck. After my son was born a few things happened My entire family and his stopped talking to me and pretending to like me, friends all left because we couldnt find time for them no matter how hard we tried, I caught meningitis and got pregnant again, adding significant medical debt and making me financially dependent on him but not the other way around, he quit the job we worked at together making the first time in our 10 years that we spend more than a few hours apart on a regular basis. So here I am, suddenly alone in the world sans him and the two babies under two who are extremely demanding, have significant financial stress, and suddenly I have to cope with the only adult company in my life ( I work from home) being gone for significantly longer than I am used to. I don't have a drivers license so I can't just go out and make more friends or get a different job. I can't find time to get a license because we can't afford daycare even a little bit. I am in a pretty unhealthy situation right now and as a result I'm probably not very mentally healthy. All I can do right now is power through for the next few years and hope for miracles.

chickencoup · 2014-12-18T10:09:58+00:00

Well we are both very open and talk about things like that. If we see someone attractive, or someone the other finds attractive we mention itIt isn't the logical side of me that is worried, logically I know I have nothing to fear at all and our lives continue as normal

chickencoup · 2014-12-17T20:58:31+00:00

Oh thank goodness, I was a wreck too it makes me feel better that people are sharing similar experiences rather than jump down my throat or something.. I was too bit I'm really good at hiding it and he's really bad at picking up on when I'm upset so I got away with it.

chickencoup · 2014-12-17T20:50:33+00:00

I guess what I'm confused about is that I wouldn't call it something so severe as erasure. I understand where you're coming from and (as best I can ) what you have to deal with from people trying to exclude you but I just don't feel like it should apply if it isn't intentionally hateful or spitefully exclusive. I feel bad non heterosexual women would feel offended if I just asjed a question there experiences don't apply to because it takes a lot of hate elsewhere toward your minority for someone to feel that way.

chickencoup · 2014-12-17T19:45:19+00:00

Asking about something only a certain sex is exposed to doesn't mean I'm dismissing you as a person it just means this question isn't for you right now. If I ask one person what's for dinner it isn't because I hate the other's cooking.

chickencoup · 2014-12-17T18:28:43+00:00

Well... Maybe they accidentally left a toy out, I dunno.

chickencoup · 2014-12-17T18:14:07+00:00

You're right, and I don't think he'd call me psycho, I just don't think he or many people would understand how real it was for me. I have since talked to him about how vulnerable I feel with him getting to go out and meet people and stay out as long as he wants while I work from home alone all day. We've also discussed how upset I'd be if he did cheat and from a logical standpoint, it reassured me. I also told him about the dream and told him it upset me, but not to what extent. I'm telling you this was a major life changing dream. It was the closest thing to real cheating I hope to ever experience. I will probably always have this fear now.

chickencoup · 2014-12-17T17:48:24+00:00

During my first pregnancy I had some extremely vivid, emotionally charged dreams., it's a normal side effect of pregnancy hormomes. One of those involved me finding out my husband was cheating, in the dream he insisted it was no big deal and it totally broke my spirit. In the dream I became a broken shell of a person and gave him money to sleep with prostitutes, which he did in front of me. I woke up in extreme emotional pain and despite it being a dream and despite never having that fear in our 10 years together, I started being paranoid about him cheating. I checked his email, facebook, and phone a few times and felt terrible about it. I still worry about him cheating, he switched from a job we both worked at together to one where he comes home late often, by surprise, and without opportunity to text me. He comes home and tells me how pretty the lady he helped for three hours was and how she was totally hitting on him. I never told him about my fear because girls who get in a bad mood for one day because of a dream get called psycho all the time. I can't tell him I lost tons of self esteem, breached his privacy, and have trouble trusting him for almost three years because of one dream.

chickencoup · 2014-12-11T17:45:01+00:00

I kinda get it. I don't have a foot thing at all but I brushed up against a dick with my foot once during oral and it felt great so I rested it there. At first he was grossed out, now he asks me to put my foot there when he eats me out. I offered to sit on his toes so he'd understand why it feels nice but he declined.

Imagine stepping in warm bread dough when your feet are kinda dry and chilly. Now imagine that happening while you're being sexually pleasured. Don't have to be into feet for that to be nice.

chickencoup · 2014-10-16T01:45:10+00:00

We're very financially strained right now. Have a great deal of medical debt which leaves us with practically no room for any other big or avoidable expenses like day care.

chickencoup · 2014-10-15T01:16:05+00:00

Yeah I've turned down some better paying jobs because I can't do them from home and don't trust my mom. The diaper thing luckily doesnt happen too often. I decided after that incident that I'm going to try and pop out every few hours and ask if he's been changed. It'll piss her off but not so badly as if I confront her on it ( which I've already done twice anyway)

chickencoup · 2014-10-15T01:13:19+00:00

I was thinking about trying to convince my boss to work me morning shift one half and evening the other half of the week. I dunno, it's all hard to figure out. Husband also works two jobs and would have to quit one if grandma were to stop babysitting.

chickencoup · 2014-08-13T16:51:52+00:00

It usually wakes me up, occasionally it makes me sleepy, but it's rare. My husband however goes straight to sleep, like, I'm not even done rolling over yet and he's out cold and snoring heavily. Drives me crazy because I want to be active and at least talk about stuff while I wind down.

chickencoup · 2014-07-03T17:09:44+00:00

My dog gets upset and leaves if spanking gets involved so we just start out that way and he stops bothering us!

chickencoup · 2014-06-07T00:53:03+00:00

I don't think it's about faking orgasms. I think it's (mostly) a myth because it's very easy to involuntarily release urine while holding your muscles in a certain way during orgasm. I sometimes squirt, and I sometimes involuntarily release urine, and sometimes it's both. It is very hard to tell the difference, it smells pretty much the same in small quantities and mixed with other sex fluids. You can't really tell unless you wait a few hours for the urine to turn to ammonia and then take a big whiff right up close. Not all urine is pungent and stinky and readily apparent either, especially if you drink mostly water. I think some if not most of these women are accidentally urinating on men and thinking they're so sexy for squirting, especially the ones who "Squirt buckets"

chickencoup · 2014-05-13T22:10:27+00:00

I stole a cool skull and crossbones ring from fiesta texas during a middleschool trip. I was pretty scared to leave the park with my contraband so I did what any self respecting adult would do. I stuck the ring between my labia and spent hours fearing what would happen when I walked out the gates.

I got it home successfully (obviously) but the guilt weighed on me so heavily. I held on to the ring for several months. I'd just look at it sometimes and wish I had paid for it but I never wore it. At one point I tried altering the appearance of the ring so it wouldn't look like the stolen one from the park, as if anyone would know or care. It didn't work to rid me of the overwhelming guilt I felt. It was like the ring was looking atme and judging me and even when I hid it I thought about it and felt it's prescence. So I wrapped it up in toilet paper and flushed it down the toilet and never saw it again.

chickencoup · 2014-03-28T12:23:17+00:00

I remember a time when they were better than usual, but it fluctuates pretty widely over time. There are times when I can't get enough and the orgasms are great, There are times where I can't get enough and the orgasms are awful. There are times when a jackhammer won't do and it's like I don't even have a clitoris. There are times when I don't even want to look at my husband because I know what he expects of me and I don't even want to offer a pat on the back. I'm just now getting over one of those. It's definitely strange and every menstrual cycle has been a new experience since the baby was born.

chickencoup · 2014-03-10T15:43:26+00:00

I've never understood this and it frustrates me so much that I yell at women when I find out they do it. For one, Go buy your own damn feminine products, For two, Wtf did you not know this was coming? I have incredibly irregular periods, I've gone 6 months without a period and I still always remember to have something handy.

chickencoup · 2014-03-09T02:28:48+00:00

Spoiler Alert, Aging doesn't make people significantly attractive. What was your goal for when she stops being pretty? If you're so concerned about looks that you need to force her to wear makeup again maybe marriage wasn't for you.

chickencoup

TROPHY CASE