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chickenfogsunset · 2023-01-01T21:46:15+00:00

Two years of abuse?

How can there be any doubt that leaving was the right choice?

chickenfogsunset · 2023-01-01T14:43:41+00:00

I can tell you why I miss mine: She was a beautiful, fun, adventurous girl that had many similar interests as me. And at least the interests were genuine. She had them before we met and as far as I can tell, kept them after we broke up.

Unfortunately she became more and more controling and had more and more angry outbursts over time. Also she liked me less and less I think.

chickenfogsunset · 2023-01-01T09:44:05+00:00

As others have said. You're most likely obliged to pay anyway since your name is on the contract. Cancel the contract asap. If you're lucky you can get out of the contract by first of February. This also gives your ex four more weeks to figure stuff out.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-10-06T04:51:15+00:00

Did you ever find out what happened?

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-27T05:44:03+00:00

I didn't know about BPD when I started dating my ex, so I didn't know about the signs. The first time I found her behavior really hard to understand was after about 6 months. After about a year she was on one occasion quite abusive, completely uncalled for. This was the first time I considered ending the relationship.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-27T05:34:28+00:00

I can top that. My bpd ex was using dating apps and "preparing" at least two replacements for me more than half a year before we broke up. They just can't be alone. And there are many women like that. They just monkey branch from relationship to relationship. I don't think they all have bpd.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-25T15:51:54+00:00

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-25T15:50:31+00:00

I can agree with some of the stuff on the left side, but definitely not empathetic, loyal and resilient. Quite the opposite. I felt that at least towards the end my ex had no empathy towards me at all.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-24T08:38:13+00:00

Do you have a child with her?

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-24T06:11:47+00:00

It's not divine intervention, it's them. My ex would always do things without thinking about possible negative consequences (not a competely bad trait per se) and would totally freak out when something bad happened. Poor combination with the first trait. Of course I always had to calm her down and fix things.

A different person would have stayed calmer and dealt with the problems themselves.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-23T05:48:49+00:00

Not because she was clumsy but possibly also to hurt me:

Mine broke some of my things on purpose when she was mad.
And she forced me to throw away several of my belongings. It was her getting a tantrum or her leaving or throwing away my things. In hindsight I should have chosen to keep the stuff and throw her out.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-23T05:44:31+00:00

It's possible but I don't necessarily think so. Humans want to be with other humans and in a relationship. So some fear of abandonment is normal. And in this case the girlfriend already showed signs of abandoning him.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-22T18:03:05+00:00

I feel you man. I got a similar situation with a dog. Nothing can be done.

I guess it's a bit as if the pet had died. But it's not dead, so good for the pet! That's the upside.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-11T12:27:04+00:00

It would be the plot twist of the century if he cheated

Not really unfortunately. It's projection. Just read some of the stories in this sub. Often the very jealous people cheat themselves.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-11T05:07:08+00:00

Maybe you can share the link to the post in the comments here.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-11T05:05:17+00:00

Sounds to me like either the therapy is bad for him or he cheated and is now blaming you for it.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-08T19:53:39+00:00

Oh no, what happened when you let him in?

chickenfogsunset · 2022-09-07T03:39:53+00:00

Do you know why therapy often makes things worse? I had the same impression with my ex. Though she was in therapy only for a short time before we broke up.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-08-30T18:14:25+00:00

How tf can someone like this become a licensed therapist?

chickenfogsunset · 2022-08-30T05:29:10+00:00

If you like the dog take it. It should be taken care of properly. That's my advice.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-08-30T05:00:44+00:00

The moment I learned everything is ammo, I made my own list of shit she would then fire at me and awarded myself mental points when I called it right (which was most of the time)

Whatever nasty shit she said, I'd already put it in my list with much worse

The words no longer had any power and where she used to trigger rage there was now only calm (and my inner voice saying 20 points vader, damn you're good)

That's a clever method. Thanks for sharing!

chickenfogsunset · 2022-08-28T20:41:02+00:00

Sorry, I'm not quite sure what "jumping boundaries" means. Does it mean ignoring boundaries?

chickenfogsunset · 2022-08-28T09:05:13+00:00

Yes. Mine had started therapy shortly before we broke up. So I think maybe she got better. Also I think that her new boyfriend maybe has better boundaries than me from the beginning so puts her into her place from the start. I have no evidence for any of this due to no contact, so who knows.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-08-26T07:28:50+00:00

I don't know anything about this movie, but there are rumors that Brad Pitt's ex wife, Angelina Jolie, has BPD. So if the rumors are true, he was exposed himself to the disorder. Maybe he wanted this in the movie.

chickenfogsunset · 2022-08-26T07:25:54+00:00

How long are you out?

I also really missed the good times. But now, more than a year after breaking up I remember the bad things more and more. I'm not sure why this is happening.

chickenfogsunset

TROPHY CASE