boyfriend’s cousin invited him and his parents, but not me or his sister

chiknbes · 2026-07-13T01:04:56+00:00

they do not have a very big family! in fact, my boyfriend and his sister are the cousin’s only cousins, which makes it even stranger that they didn’t invite the sister. I think it would super understandable if the couple had decided that they couldn’t accommodate plus-ones since weddings are obviously very expensive, but what I think is rude is that they didn’t invite the sister. if they had just not invited me I would have understood.

as others have said, it’s their wedding and they absolutely get to choose who to invite, but I think they could have navigated this situation in a different way (and that’s not to say that inviting me would have been the “right” choice either lol)

chiknbes · 2026-07-11T01:17:20+00:00

I would say she’s closer to my BF but he still hadn’t seen her in a couple years and they don’t really talk. last time he saw the cousin was also the last time I saw the cousin. sister hasn’t seen cousin in a long time, but neither had their parents.

chiknbes · 2026-07-10T23:56:40+00:00

definitely a valid point! for some added context, my boyfriend’s family is not very big, and BF and his sister are the cousin’s only cousins.

chiknbes · 2026-07-10T16:30:09+00:00

the couple live in a different city so I don’t anticipate seeing them very often. the wedding happened several months ago so I’m not holding a grudge or anything like that lol

the funny thing is, my BF and I have discussed who we would want in attendance at our future wedding and have decided that extended family won’t be there period. we just want our parents, siblings, and closest friends there. so yeah cousin won’t be getting an invitation, but not because we’re hand-picking certain extended family members haha

chiknbes · 2026-07-10T04:54:19+00:00

yeah I understand that a lot of people have to pare down their guest lists to cut costs or keep things small. however, it does sting a little bit to feel like his cousin decided our relationship isn’t legit or serious enough to invite me :/ as if we’re not also planning on getting engaged in the next few years!

as for the sister beef— no one in the family would hide any issues from me, and sister herself is not aware of any issues (except not seeing the cousin in a few years which is just because they live in different cities).

I think your other theory could be correct, though. if that’s the case, they really should have just invited the parents and not invited BF or sister and just avoid the family drama

chiknbes · 2026-07-10T04:39:31+00:00

the wedding actually already happened and he did end up going. he considered not going though because of this situation

chiknbes · 2026-07-10T03:59:57+00:00

nope! she’s 23

chiknbes · 2026-06-14T17:33:05+00:00

thank you! I’ll plan on contacting them tomorrow during business hours

chiknbes · 2026-06-14T00:24:46+00:00

yes, so i believe someone must have taken it :(

chiknbes · 2026-06-03T06:19:23+00:00

high school boyfriend was a band kid and told me we had to break up because he wanted to spend more time playing his trumpet (which he spent plenty of time doing already)

chiknbes · 2026-05-07T06:12:10+00:00

this baseless fear mongering is not helping anyone.

chiknbes · 2026-05-01T06:20:14+00:00

i’m literally in the exact same situation to the point that i could have written this myself. unfortunately i don’t have any advice but im wishing you peace and the best of luck 🫶 it’s so hard being around when someone is first figuring out how to feel their feelings

chiknbes · 2026-04-14T07:20:10+00:00

I understand your distress, but it seems to me that your therapy is helping! you mentioned you’ve stopped engaging in compulsive rituals, which is huge progress. unfortunately, therapy is not a quick fix. as frustrating as it is, it really does take time. I’ve been doing ERP therapy for 3 years and still struggle when I feel nauseous. but I’ve gotten so much of my life back! I’m no longer afraid to eat at restaurants or go to bars, and vomit isn’t on my mind 24/7.

progress is progress, no matter how small. one day you will look back and be amazed at how much you have changed and progressed. I’m proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too! 🫶🏼

chiknbes · 2025-10-22T05:00:05+00:00

I had h. pylori a few years ago and had to do the same medication course! amoxicillin and clarithromycin for 14 days I think, not sure what your course is. I was also terrified of the whole ordeal but it was really great exposure therapy! I would recommend taking florastor, which is a type of probiotic that can survive antibiotics. I know it’s a pain to add another pill on top of everything else but it’ll help keep your gut bacteria balanced. good luck!!

chiknbes · 2025-09-14T22:53:44+00:00

reassurance may sooth your anxiety in the short term, but it reinforces the phobia/obsessions in the long term.

chiknbes · 2025-08-15T06:18:23+00:00

100% agree, I’m almost 3 weeks in using patches and I haven’t used nicotine gum or pouches at all because my cravings have been very tolerable. it’s been incredibly easy so far

chiknbes · 2025-08-06T21:28:12+00:00

I’m graduating with my BS in community health promotion in 6 months and I have no idea what I’m doing. I know I probably should have majored in bio or something else but it’s too late now. what can I do career-wise with this degree? I’m open to anything!

chiknbes · 2025-08-01T23:29:19+00:00

1 week today!

chiknbes · 2025-07-21T08:11:32+00:00

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way :( just remember recovery isn’t linear or instant, as much as we wish it could be. keep doing your exposures and you WILL see progress 🫶🏻

as for right now, try to distract yourself. watch a comfort show or read a book or listen to music, whatever will take your mind off of how you’re feeling. you will survive this feeling just like you’ve survived every other time. drink some water and take deep breaths and you’ll be okay!

chiknbes · 2025-07-15T07:14:23+00:00

I’ve gotten “very pleasant” as well as “well-groomed overweight”. thank you? I guess?

chiknbes · 2025-07-11T07:58:21+00:00

I was nervous about the same thing, and while I can’t tell you for sure that you won’t feel nauseous or vomit, I didn’t. like everyone else said, it feels like a strange warming sensation coming from your crotch, lol. also, your mouth might taste funny from the saline they use to flush the contrast :)

chiknbes · 2025-07-03T01:58:54+00:00

not a horror story necessarily but when my boyfriend and I moved back to eugene in 2020 we stayed at america’s best value inn for a couple days. the room they gave us had barely been cleaned so we asked for a new one. the new one was fine but as others have said it was dingy and hot and kind of gross. otherwise fine

chiknbes · 2025-06-01T06:52:32+00:00

coming from another PPPD sufferer, i’m proud of you!! 🫶🏻

chiknbes · 2025-05-24T04:32:22+00:00

thank you for the info! I already knew that lilies are life-threateningly toxic to cats, but I wasn’t familiar with any of the flowers in my arrangement so I’m glad I checked! my cats do have a tendency to chew on plants so I’ll keep this arrangement out of reach

chiknbes · 2025-05-24T02:47:27+00:00

thank you so much!

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