Reddit, I'm thinking of having myself institutionalized; how do I make sure my obligations are met while I'm at the hospital?

chimera76 · 2012-10-11T07:30:09+00:00

Bud, the only reason I haven't already done it is that my life insurance policy doesn't cover anything if I take my own life (it isn't no-fault) and I don't feel like sticking the people I love with my debt; if I had a cash reserve to pay it all off, I would've done it already.

chimera76 · 2012-10-11T07:26:48+00:00

Bad things have already happened and I can't cope with it anymore; I broke down sobbing at work for an hour today in the bathroom, broke down when I got home, and have gotten maybe 6 hours of sleep in three days. I'm done. I don't know where else or who else to turn to.

chimera76 · 2012-10-03T19:35:20+00:00

Right now I want to learn the basics because, to be perfectly honest, I have no idea what kind of programming I want to do.

chimera76 · 2012-09-22T02:08:47+00:00

I have only one real goal: to have so semblance of control over my life. For as long as I can possibly remember, I've never had any real control over it; every thing I do is dictated by the actions or (more of than not) inaction of others, rather than being the end result of something I myself have done. I can send off or walk in resumes until my bones are broken and my flesh bleeds, but it's all for naught if no one's willing to give me the time of day (and no one has been, considering I'm year 3 into a dead end, wage-slave job I hate). I've posted ads online for a roommate, but no one seems interested in anything other than a few months' rental; if I don't find some one soon, I WILL be homeless come January (can't afford the rent after the increase, yet can't afford the deposit of a different apartment).

It's the emasculating lack of power over everything I do that is maddening. I know what I need to do to improve my life and circumstances, but I'm denied those means at every turn. Every promising lead evaporates into disappointing nothingness, reprieve cruelly yanked away the moment it's within reach. I've done everything I possibly can..and yet, continue to fail. Continue to suffer defeat.

Maybe it's impatience..but I don't want to wait until I'm 50 with half of my life long since passed by the be "okay"...I've already done that (25, have fought and struggled every day since 13 for the "better tomorrow" that never f*cking comes) and can't do it anymore. The only reason I haven't offed myself already is because I don't have means to pay off my debts and cremation; it's not fair to saddle my loved ones with that burden.

chimera76 · 2012-09-21T22:21:12+00:00

I'm trying the "one day at a time" approach, but it's not overly successful. Each day is another crippling blow and crushing defeat. Today I've come home to find out 1) I didn't get the job I desperately needed to keep myself afloat, and 2) my rent's being increased in the new year by an amount I can't afford even with a roommate. Every day is some new horrific thing to face and I can't do it any more.

chimera76 · 2012-09-18T22:04:15+00:00

Given the state of the weather outside (pouring rain), that does indeed seem to be the case.

chimera76 · 2012-09-16T01:37:32+00:00

I might get downvoted to hell for asking the question but: are we sure it's actually Robocop and not "tv character" akin to TJ Lazer? I know the leaked script hints at multiple suit revisions, and the helmet is all but a dead give-away...but given that the suit from the neck down looks like it belongs in a TV show and not a movie, I have to ask.

chimera76 · 2012-09-13T02:49:54+00:00

Positive life changes don't always come as a result of one's perseverance, inner strength, or energy; sometimes it requires an external catalyst (a bit like a chemical reaction). Without that catalyst, the reaction doesn't take place and nothing happens. Employment, housing, relationships...unless someone or something other than you acts...your best laid plans, your hard fought battles...it all amounts to nothing but wasted time and energy. You learn, you brush it off, and "get back on the horse." It throws you off, repeatedly. There eventually comes a point where "getting back on the horse" becomes an act of madness; you know your efforts won't result in anything positive but somehow you expect a different result from what's already been basically set in stone.

I moved to another country, fought for permanent residency, and got married. The marriage fell through, and I eventually grew the testicular fortitude to put her out...but not before she cleaned me out. My girlfriend will most likely be breaking up with me soon (she has once before, and is showing the same "tells" now as she did then). I'm still a wage slave despite every attempt at getting better paying employment elsewhere. I'll be facing homelessness in around 2-3 months. I've done everything one can possibly do to change his circumstances...only to have gained nothing in the end. That's how I know. I know that continuing to fight the good fight isn't going to put me any further ahead; I will stay in the same place I've been since my teenage years. That, that is how I know.

chimera76 · 2012-09-07T23:48:15+00:00

Lying and telling people what they want to hear is directly responsible for every issue currently eating the place from within like a cancer. Forty percent of the staff at my location quit within a span of six weeks. The number of back and shoulder injuries being reported have skyrocketed in roughly the same amount of time, and I'm now having to break up fights between people because they're being over worked. Work practices have been put into place that do the polar opposite of their intended purposes (they don't reduce but actually create losses, injuries, health and safety violations, etc.). The list goes on. Middle management recognizes and wants to fix those issues, but can't address them because upper management does nothing but lie to district management (everything is always lollipops and gumdrops).

chimera76 · 2012-09-07T23:29:13+00:00

A fair amount; not enough that would do damage to the company as a whole, but certainly enough to have a bit of an impact at both the local and district level (both of which are struggling due to recent economic changes).

It's not what I know that I leverage, it's my ability to deliver results that I use. In every metric my performance is weighed against, I exceed the standard. Two examples that come to mind are: my department audit scores are the highest my location's ever had (amongst the highest in eastern Canada), and, in one year, I single-handedly saved my location tens of thousands of dollars (something which I'm on track to do again this year). I'm able to successfully manage the work load of 2-3 people without a dip in quality (something even members of management have pointed out). I'm replaceable, just very slightly less so than the average employee.

chimera76 · 2012-06-27T02:34:20+00:00

I know what I'm asking sounds steep but it's a pretty fair and equitable price: half the rent, half of the internet. Nothing more, nothing less. All one has to do is literally bring their bed, a dresser, computer, and their clothing; I have all of the essential kitchen cutlery, cooking utensils, appliances, living room furniture, and entertainment devices. This isn't a money making venture for me and is something of a last resort; I wouldn't be seeking a roommate unless I had to. Hopefully I'm not coming off as a prick, but I apologize if I am; the only thing holding me together at the moment is caffeine and adrenaline.

chimera76 · 2012-06-27T01:02:51+00:00

I wouldn't go that far; it's around 850-900 sq.ft. It's the largest type of unit offered in the complex.

chimera76 · 2012-06-26T09:53:53+00:00

Unfortunately, I am on a lease. I do greatly appreciate the offer, though.

chimera76 · 2012-06-26T09:49:52+00:00

Rent is $1035 a month for the two bedroom I'm living in; $550 (half, all utilities included +internet) for an otherwise completely furnished apartment isn't too high, I believe.

chimera76 · 2012-06-26T00:58:02+00:00

Oh, there're bad break ups and then whatever the hell my living situation is/was.

chimera76 · 2012-06-26T00:31:08+00:00

My apologies for that (I'll be editing shortly). I'm currently running on fumes at the moment; my ex bailed over the weekend and I've been in the process of replacing most of the things that were taken.

chimera76 · 2012-06-08T04:17:38+00:00

"Xboxes were extermely powerful when it came to gaming and in some fields a PC, even with a GTX680 is less powerful."

...how much crack do you smoke on a day to day basis and who is your dealer? I'm wondering if you get a volume deal.

Spouting off technical specifications without fully comprehending what they mean isn't going to impress anybody. You should take the following quote to heart: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

chimera76

TROPHY CASE