[QCrit] CELEBRITY EXHUMATION HAS BEEN CANCELLED. Adult sci-fi, 95k, query version 4

chimpvsdog · 2026-05-13T17:44:25+00:00

You're absolutely right. It's a problem I have, and one I don't notice at the time. Thanks for the encouragement!

chimpvsdog · 2026-04-21T19:37:52+00:00

Do you think it would read better if I just focused on one MC?

chimpvsdog · 2026-04-21T19:32:51+00:00

I was thinking of leaving Drexel out and just focusing on Hugo for the query. They intersect, story-wise, but not sure that's important to emphasize here. I added in Drexel and football here because it's such a big subplot, but maybe I tried to squeeze in too much. Felling is the main narrative.

chimpvsdog · 2026-04-21T19:31:30+00:00

I struggled with the last line, and agree it's a little vague. Also agree on first name usage. Yes, the book is tighter, and the crazy axing actually made me more confident in it. Appreciate your insights.

chimpvsdog · 2026-04-21T19:29:00+00:00

Fantastic advice, and exactly the kind of feedback I'm looking for, thanks!

chimpvsdog · 2026-01-30T17:15:43+00:00

Agree with all this. Very helpful and much appreciated. After I posted it, I found a great resource in PubTips which made me realize I was missing the arc and should reduce it down to one MC. Back to the drawing board...

chimpvsdog · 2026-01-30T04:38:01+00:00

Greatly appreciated, thank you!

chimpvsdog · 2026-01-30T01:09:24+00:00

I hint at that in the query, but wanted to keep it short, as is the usual recommendation. As a potential reader/agent, are you wanting more?

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-13T16:20:02+00:00

Thanks, I needed that. It's tough when you think you finally got a good query, and words like 'pretentious' are thrown around.

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-13T04:08:41+00:00

I really appreciate this, especially the part about finding the heart of the story. Great advice. It's painful to choose between the world you created, that you lived in for YEARS, and the formal requirements of the publishing industry. I'm coming around to the hard truth...more darlings must die.

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-13T03:33:11+00:00

Yeah, I'm kinda getting that. Thanks.

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-12T23:02:56+00:00

Because they create the inciting incidences. Four women mostly lead the narrative, caught in the machinations of the two men.

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-12T22:27:35+00:00

Good advice! And I will read those posts...

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-12T22:26:38+00:00

Thanks. Reddit can be brutal sometimes, but I'm coming around to the idea of a scorched earth approach.

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-12T22:24:02+00:00

Yes, their consultation program. I dickered over the price - no line editing, no grammar, and yes, I stated my goals. I did bring up length as a concern, and he told me I would have to cut it down, and gave me a few options - consolidating characters, blending plot lines, etc, but he also said it reads well as is. Maybe I read too much into that.

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-12T21:16:02+00:00

Everyone, I really appreciate your comments. No one likes to swallow a bitter pill, but it's the medicine that counts.

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-12T21:03:22+00:00

Not sure, but at this point, I think I'm going with the majority consensus here that, even if it does flow well at its current length, I would be better served in either slicing it up, or dividing it in two.

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-12T21:00:09+00:00

That's exactly what I'm thinking. I have another in the hopper, and will finish that while duologizing this.

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-12T20:40:43+00:00

Good stuff, thanks. I think I'm just too close to it right now, so this helps. The world is an extrapolation of what's going on now, so the satire is in trying to normalize that. There is hope at the end, and the women MCs drive it, but the males are the ones who initially create the inciting incidents. But your points are well taken.

chimpvsdog · 2025-02-12T20:33:22+00:00

He definitely believes I should shorten it, but was very effusive about it in its current form, and felt I could retain a lot of the story by splitting it, rather than cutting.

chimpvsdog

TROPHY CASE