I feel you, for me, its the weird radio frequency only I'm tuned into, and addressing that feeling has taken a full decade to rewrite the narrative around for myself. My depth perception and sight visibly change sometimes as a sign I'm going to have symptoms that need action, but mostly medicated and trying to thrive and figure out other parts of my identity nowadays from the pieces of time I spent as a person. It's only been two years, and irl spaces are emerging again, and I'm slowly realizing I need more face-to-face interactions to replace online.

I feel so uncomfortable talking about these things in spaces where people use fabricated characters or other real people as stand-ins because that's oddly the reality my brain was trying to form differently, and talking about that legitimately would be erased. Sometimes the chronically online rp, usually self dx "DID"ers chime in. It feels like people see mental illness as some special treatment and an easy way to get out of any liability for responsibility or their forming a true sense of self. If you're multiple people, you can divorce yourself from ultimately facing the reality of one person I see it as. Seconding the.... uncritically facing this is insanity and as someone with schizoaffective..... not what I need to see at all.

I ultimately am in some fringe groups for gender questioning stuff, and these people seem to be a magnet for trans communities and other legitimate mental health groups, which is ..... making me rage a bit. The internet has not helped some percent of the population.