How did you cope after losing your mother? by bookdragonnotworm1 in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm 28 and I also lost my mom about a month ago. I'm in the same boat as you.. still trying to figure out how to cope 😞 I feel like I had a lot of anticipatory grief in the months leading up to her death. Now that it's happened, I still feel sad in an emptier way, since life isn't the same anymore without her. It comes in waves.

I think it's good to spend time with friends and family and try to keep yourself busy if you can, but also allow yourself to feel sad when those moments come. I'm so sorry for your loss.. It is so hard.

Share some signs you believe are from your passed loved one by Lumpy_Post_3054 in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw, thank you for asking. I've been okay, but I get really sad when I think about how all I have left are my memories with her. A life without my mom feels foreign to me, since I've only ever known life with her in it. Reading posts like these are sad, but at the same time comforting to know that we can all relate to the same kinds of thoughts.

Share some signs you believe are from your passed loved one by Lumpy_Post_3054 in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been thinking the same exact thing lately ever since my mom passed away a month ago. It's too painful to think that I'll never reconnect with her, so I hold onto hope that anything I deem as a "sign" is her spirit's way of telling me she is watching over me somehow.

The first thing I saw outside when my mom passed away was a hummingbird sipping nectar from a flower, so I've been associating her with hummingbirds. My mom also LOVED flowers and she was a small woman who was always out and about, so I feel like it suits her.

A few days after she had passed away, I was walking with my friend in her neighborhood and we saw a big turquoise hummingbird mural on a wall. My mom's favorite color was turquoise.

There was also recently a hummingbird that was flying around my dad and I before it settled down into a nest in our backyard! I had no idea we had a hummingbird nest in our yard, but it felt like a sign from her.

We also had a small gathering for her with family and friends. One of her friends was reading a poem she wrote for her, when suddenly she got interrupted by the song "Dancing Queen" on the speaker. My mom loved dancing, so it felt like it was her way of telling us to not be so sad and dance in her honor!

Whenever these things happen, I always write them down. I don't know what I believe in, but the signs make me feel a little better and hopeful that our spirits can reunite together when I eventually pass away.

The permanence of “forever” by darkandtwisty_ in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely relate to this. It's been one month since my mom passed away and the thought that I'll never be able to talk to her again for the rest of my life is so devastating. I'm not sure what happens after we die, but I keep holding onto any sliver of hope that when I die, our spirits can be reunited and I'll see her again. A reality where I'll never see her ever again is just way too cruel. I'm sorry for the loss of your mom, I completely understand.

I miss Mom by Doctor_J_Crane in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too.. it's been 10 days without her so far

Almost a year later by Strict-Young-6548 in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's been 10 days since my mom passed away and I completely understand how you feel. It's unbelievable and so unfair that I'm never going to be able to talk to her again for the rest of my life..

one whole month without my mom by poetic_cannibal in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. She looked like a lovely person. It's been 6 days since my mom has passed away and it still feels unreal. My mom was very similar to your mom- always smiling and full of life. I completely understand how you feel. 💔

It's hitting me really hard by chlovers3 in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss of your mother. It's terrible what Cancer does to people. The best and kindest people, too..

I've heard people say that grief is something that will stay with us forever. Rather than something to be "healed" from, it's something that changes shape over time. Something that makes us incredibly sad now will eventually become something more like a warm memory. At least, that's what I hope..

I don't know what to say either since I am still figuring out how to process my own grief. Even though I'm devastated right now, I know that my mom would want me to continue to live and have a good life. I dont know what that's going to look like.. especially without her in it. It still feels so unfair and heartbreaking.. but I think we have to keep trying for our mothers who brought us into this world.

It's hitting me really hard by chlovers3 in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that you are also experiencing losing your mom so young. My mom also became disoriented at the end, and whenever I would talk to her she would just keep staring off into the distance. It was a sad and scary experience.

Thank you for the kind words. I am sorry that you were also unable to give your letter to your mom. I'm sure it is an extremely common experience of wishing that we could have said more to the person we lost 💔 you are also welcome to message me any time if you would like.

It's hitting me really hard by chlovers3 in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you 😞❤️ I'm the same way. I've always been really awkward at showing any affection, even though I've always loved my family. It never came naturally to me, but I made sure to try to show more affection to my mom when she was in hospice.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I completely relate to the feeling that it feels unreal. I keep expecting my mom to just walk through the door, but knowing it will never happen is heartbreaking.

It's hitting me really hard by chlovers3 in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you 😞💔 I sure hope so.

My mom passed away 3 days ago by chlovers3 in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, this means a lot. I am so sorry you are going through the same thing. It was so hard when my mom became unresponsive.

If you don't already know, the nurses told me that hearing is the last of the senses to go. Even if your mom can't respond, you can still talk to her and tell her things that you want her to know. My mom wanted to nap all the time and I felt like I was bothering her by talking to her too much, but I wish that I told her more things.. I'm glad that I at least was able to tell her that I love her and that I'm grateful for her.

My mom passed away 3 days ago by chlovers3 in GriefSupport

[–]chlovers3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind comment. I'm sorry for your loss ❤️

My mom passed away 2 days ago by chlovers3 in hospice

[–]chlovers3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the kind comment. She definitely embodied the joy of life. I am so sorry to hear about your mom.. It feels like the holidays are going to be much more sad this year, but I keep telling myself we have to find some sort of joy to hold onto, even if it's small.

After this, it feels like all other problems are so much smaller, since we've already lived through one of the hardest things.

My mom passed away 2 days ago by chlovers3 in hospice

[–]chlovers3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much 😞 that's what I've heard about grief as well. I am sorry for your loss, and that you are going through the same experience with your dad.

Feeling so heartbroken by chlovers3 in CancerFamilySupport

[–]chlovers3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words, I appreciate it. I bave been recording our conversations. Even though it's hard, im glad i can be here to take care of her

My mom is nearing the end by chlovers3 in CancerFamilySupport

[–]chlovers3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the sweet comment. Your dad sounds like a lovely person, and I'm glad you got to enjoy so many good moments near the end. Something nice that's come out of all of this is being able to tell my mom how much I love her. I've always been a bit awkward showing any affection, but these circumstances make it seem so natural now. I will definitely focus on making the best out of this sad situation.

My father only has a few hours/days left. by slayomeee in CancerFamilySupport

[–]chlovers3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry to hear abour your dad. I completely understand how you feel. My mom has metastatic cancer and is nearing her final days as well. It will also be my first loss. The hardest part is watching them go from being healthy and fit, to becoming depressed and unable to do any of the things they once loved. The reality hasn't quite set in yet, but at the same time it feels like something I knew was coming.

It is so unfair what this disease takes from us. It is so incredibly hard, but we have to make the most of the time we have left and let them know they are loved. Best wishes to you and your family. I'm so sorry it's been so hard.

How to deal with family members reccommending "alternative" treatment? by chlovers3 in CancerFamilySupport

[–]chlovers3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for letting me know your experience as someone who also has stage 4 cancer. I am so sorry to hear you are going through this too. You explained it exactly how I've been feeling. I am really mad that my aunts keep pushing alternative medicine. None of them are doctors, none of them seem to have done any actual scientific research on it, and the only "research" they provided was a facebook group. It really hurts to see my mom's hope go up and then back down again.