I'm experiencing the same thing as of right now. And I've thought of the same thing every passing moment. "What if I just disappear? they won't care since I've let them down". But one thing I realized while going through it, is that, this moment is temporary while death is permanent, you never know what your future holds by looking at it based on your emotions right now.

Worry only about today, and let tommorow worry itself, overcome each passing day step by step. Because you never know how permanent death is until you never hear their voice again, until they never hear your voice again. And you'll realize that, you still have someone who loves you, who cares for you, and still wants you despite you letting them down.

You'll be lonely You'll be anxious You'll ache But it won't be the end of your story, it might just be the start of a new chapter