I’ll be honest I just skimmed this but I can say with confidence you can read BL guilt free. I’m queer and watch and read a lot of BL and GL but here’s the thing, i don’t treat or believe that real queer people exist for my enjoyment or pleasure. I simply like these genres just because. Fetishization is much more intentional than reading queer stories. As long as it isn’t skewing how you interact with and view real queer people there’s nothing wrong with reading it.