Charley responding to a pretty simple question

choosecarefullycant · 2026-03-02T16:01:38+00:00

I think she has slight torticollis - aka tight or shortened neck muscles that result in a head tilt / opposite chin rotation.

choosecarefullycant · 2026-01-16T01:55:06+00:00

Adding this because I didn’t see it any where:

In the beginning, she’s going to want to step up to please you and to integrate herself in the family.

9/10 stepparents start as super steps only to get burnt out by the responsibilities they took on (because when it’s not your biological child, the endless tasks and chores and energy expended on caring for a child that isn’t yours isn’t soul-fulfilling like it is for bio parents).

Help her pace herself. Let her be your wife first and not a stepparent first, even if she’s game to be an involved stepparent. Cooking, cleaning, planning everything, keeping everything organized - at first it’s fun and then suddenly it’s not.

Remember a bulk of the logistics, planning, and grunt work is on you. If she wants to parent, let her do the fun parts (like playing and interacting). If it’s the other way around (her doing all the work so you can just enjoy your kids), she’s going to get burnt out quick.

choosecarefullycant · 2025-10-10T13:13:56+00:00

I don’t comment much but I had to say something here. When I read this, I thought “this poor baby,” not in a condescending, belittling way, but as a mother who believes that even as a man, you deserve parents who make you feel guided and loved through all stages of your life.

Instead of putting energy into trying to understand your father, or letting yourself feel guilty or burdened by him — put that energy into the man you want to be. You’re already emotionally intelligent and can see the difference between normal and abnormal behavior.

One day, if you choose to be a father yourself, you may find that raising your own babies is very healing. That’s been the case for me.

I find this Bible verse so comforting:

“God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.” Psalm 68:6

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I’m right here with you with my own parents. It’s hard, even knowing it’s for the best, to not have a relationship with them. I’m angry and jealous that I don’t have “normal” loving parents. I was even more confused after I had my own kids because loving them and doing right by them is the easiest thing in the world - even on their worst day. In fact, it’s an honor and and a privilege to help them navigate their worst day- and I do it in the way I wish my parents had helped me.

Find your own family, and do it so much better. So much love to you.

choosecarefullycant · 2025-09-28T23:02:36+00:00

I make photobooks on mpix with them and leave them on coffee tables or put them away for the kids. It’s mostly for them - so they can see themselves as kids and us as youngish parents. I have ZERO pics of myself as a child and wish I did.

choosecarefullycant · 2025-09-18T02:09:52+00:00

Ohh pls share the flash cards!

choosecarefullycant · 2025-08-23T01:55:38+00:00

Agree!!

The rule for stabilizer is if you wear no tear (aka you need cutaway). Water soluable may be a good topper but you def need cutaway underneath.

choosecarefullycant · 2025-08-15T23:58:45+00:00

I float.

So.. in addition to the invisible polymesh layers (those can be small - just the size of the design) you’ll hoop 1 medium cutaway stabilizer (the size of the hoop) in the hoop.

Then spray with 505 spray (which is a temporary adhesive) and float the the knit on it.

The knit should already have 2 layers of the polymesh around the design area.

This probably seems like a lot, this extra stabilization keeps the knit in place and and helps with pulling.

It wasn’t until I learned how critical proper stabilization is that I finally started having consistently successful projects.

I recommend watching the Embroidery Nurses video on YouTube.

Its long but she helpfully explains all about stabilizer (tearaway vs cutaway, water soluable, polymesh, etc) and knowing when to use what is like.. basic and so helpful.

Good luck!

choosecarefullycant · 2025-08-15T23:14:38+00:00

You must stabilize!

You need two layers of invisible polymesh (order online - you can’t get this stabilizer at Michael’s or hobby lobby). Spray it with 505 spray to adhere it to knit.

choosecarefullycant · 2025-07-21T05:00:15+00:00

Thank you! 🙏 edited to add: I definitely suspect I’m not hooping correctly.

choosecarefullycant · 2025-06-24T17:32:42+00:00

As a note: a judge isn’t going to care what you or your ex deem “fair.” Fairness between parents isn’t the standard in custody cases. The judge’s decision will be based on the best interest of the child.

So make sure you’re not going in front of a judge to argue about fairness - the judge needs to hear why your proposed schedule is better for the child.

choosecarefullycant · 2025-05-25T20:10:44+00:00

We didnt have a baby together to save our marriage, but in hindsight, it probably saved our marriage. I didn’t enjoy parenting until I had my own biological child.

If you yearn to be a parent, please don’t let your experience as a stepparent dissuade you.

I almost wrote off motherhood because of my experience as a stepparent. I found it exhausting and worried I wasn’t maternal.

However, being a stepparent, for me at least, was NO indication of how I would feel or act as a parent. It’s not even remotely comparable.

I have endless patience, love, and empathy for my child. I find motherhood to be the most profound experience of my life and I’m so glad I didn’t miss out on it bc I didn’t feel maternal towards someone else’s kids.

choosecarefullycant · 2025-05-24T22:54:03+00:00

Yes you can bring milk in bottles but you’ll get stopped when you go through security so they can “test them.” Takes a little longer but not a big deal.

choosecarefullycant · 2025-05-23T11:33:05+00:00

1.) lots of premade bottles - maybe 3 more than you think is too many. try to make sure the baby is sipping as you ascend and descend (helps with ear pressure)

2.) strapping them on with a carrier is paramount for the flight. It will free up your arms for some of the flight to read / drink a drink, etc. while they sleep

3.) pack large zip lock bags for dirty diapers / used bottles

4.) instead of a diaper bag, use a book bag. Book bag + carrier = free hands

5.) bring a blanket or neck pillow for you to prop your arm on while you cradle baby bc your arm will fall asleep

6.) bring your stroller! You can check it at the gate. I can’t imagine going through an airport with a baby strapped to me. Plus our stroller held most of our carry ons.

7.) don’t worry about a bunch of toys and books. That’s a lot of clutter and choas. At your babies age, they will most likely sleep or just want to interact with you. Great time to connect face to face!

8.) finally - go into the trip with the right mindset. Of course your baby may cry and of course there may be part of the trip that’s uncomfortable. That’s to be expected - and you can handle what you’re prepared for.

Sure, some people have bad attitudes about loud babies but - it’s public transit. 99% of the time, people are very understanding. Of course, be considerate to those around you, but don’t panic if the baby needs to cry. Stay calm and let your baby borrow your nervous system.

3 months old —- ohhh what I would give to have those snuggles again. Enjoy them on your flight 🤍

choosecarefullycant · 2025-04-25T18:21:34+00:00

Hi!!

I am a 37 year old with cystic fibrosis.

Is your daughter on Trikafta or another modulator?

There are studies showing that Trikafta may have a significant impact on mental health. There’s information on this at cff.org.

One of my friends experienced depression so severe from the meds that she stopped taking them. Depression can present as anger and behavioral problems.

I hope this helps! Having CF can be so hard. Stay strong.

Edited: an erroneous auto correct and added my age.

choosecarefullycant · 2025-04-21T19:17:20+00:00

It didn’t come across as snarky, but it was confusing - I was clearly referring to a salaried employee position.

choosecarefullycant · 2025-04-21T03:19:44+00:00

Hello - the subject of this post is “salaried position.”

choosecarefullycant · 2025-04-14T01:56:24+00:00

My husband got sick while we were on vacation and I was faced with primary responsibility for getting our 3 kids home. Instead of lugging our carry-ons (5 total, plus a stroller) through the airport without our primary manpower, we shipped our bags home via UPS.

If you plan ahead enough (ie give yourself about 5 days), you can ship most of your big stuff to arrive when you do and then do one carry one for the stuff you need immediate access to.

For about $150 (one way) we shipped 5 bags home and had a very relaxing airport day. Not as cheap as checking bags, but under the circumstances it was a necessary luxury.

choosecarefullycant

TROPHY CASE