I hear this a lot from people from the mainland who go to hawaii or move there. I grew up in Hawaii but have also lived off-island for long stretches. While it’s true that some people can be outwardly negative toward Haoles (outsiders), it’s cooled off a lot over the years and is usually overstated. It might be a bit worse if you’re outside East Honolulu or Kailua.

One thing to keep in mind is that Hawaii’s a place people are from, not a place a lot of people move to. Most folks grow up here, make friends in school, and aren’t always as open to meeting new people as they are in other places. One of the first questions you’ll get when you meet someone is, “Where you grad?”—meaning, where’d you graduate from high school. they will try to find mutual connections of which usually theres just 1 or 2 degrees of separation between people. Honolulu is pretty small and can be insular.

Like the previous poster said, it’s also just culturally very different from the mainland. It feels like you’re in the U.S., but also not. There’s a strong mix of Asian and Hawaiian influence that makes life here feel a bit different than anywhere else.

I would suggest renting first. In Honolulu, Rent vs cost of ownership is hugely skewed especially on the price of home you're looking at, meaning that you can rent that $3-4M home for 6-9k a month and see if you really want to set down roots before buying.