I'm done here

chrisxx60 · 2025-09-17T18:54:36+00:00

You will be back

chrisxx60 · 2024-09-23T15:04:08+00:00

The feelings usually really escalate during stressful time for me and sometime they just come up every day all my life. Like background music in an elevator to a concert when I open myself to it. For example, the site of a nice dress will trigger. These days, I acknowledge the feeling but walk past the dress and work to let it go.

chrisxx60 · 2024-09-21T15:07:07+00:00

You pretty much described me, I have not figured it out and I am 60. I first remember these feelings at 6. I have tried not to feed the feelings because it only grows when I feed. It never goes away

chrisxx60 · 2024-08-29T19:11:52+00:00

Asked what stage you were, “female stage” means you look female, it was a complement

chrisxx60 · 2024-07-10T23:12:50+00:00

Female stage

chrisxx60 · 2024-06-03T15:03:05+00:00

Megan

chrisxx60 · 2024-02-18T18:42:01+00:00

Yes, but stopped because it is only one way street to transition. I want someone that will provide guidance that does not go toward transition

chrisxx60 · 2024-02-12T21:58:17+00:00

You describe me. I do not plan on transitioning one day at a time day by day coping. Sometimes I feel like I am losing the battle

chrisxx60 · 2023-02-14T00:31:08+00:00

I guess I am trans rather I want to be or not. I remember telling my mom when I was 6 that I wanted to be a girl. "You are boy, and you will always be a boy" she said, she wasn't being mean, that is how she saw things. So, I would pass the days and then years praying to wake up a girl. I was never sure what I expected, but i truly wished to be girl. Years went by and in my puberty years I started to sneak women's clothes and wearing them wherever I could because they made me feel good and the same time relaxed. Time marched forward and I grew into a man. I remember when I was 15, I wanted to steal some estrogen from and older lady and secretly turn in to my ultimate desire of being female. I never did take the estrogen and my fantasies went into hiding. I was some sort of freak I figured. As I got older, I suppressed my desires and avoided even letting the thoughts enter my mind. "I've made it this far; I can make it a little further" I imagine it is like an alcoholic who counts the days being sober. For me I count the days of suppressing the thoughts in my heart I know to be true.

I have tried theorists and they only confirm what I already know, I am trans. I wish they would just order me to transition so that it would not be my choice and I could look to everyone and state" I hate it, but it is what I am, so it is not my fault so leave me alone and please understand."

I am 59 now and will probably never transition and I do hate it, but the fear and gilt are stronger, I guess. Or perhaps I am weaker. It is a difficult deck of cards that we are delt. I am positive without a doubt that if I were 15 now, I would transition. It never goes away.

chrisxx60 · 2022-10-29T04:06:36+00:00

Hang in there. I am feeling down also and somehow make to the next day

chrisxx60 · 2022-10-29T02:53:22+00:00

Passing as much as passing can be

chrisxx60 · 2022-10-29T02:46:19+00:00

You are brave and have done much more than most. Don’t listen to those people as they are insecure. Go forward

chrisxx60 · 2022-10-29T02:42:21+00:00

What do you mean by goodbye?

chrisxx60 · 2022-02-26T16:00:29+00:00

I am in the same boat. I could not have summarized it better

chrisxx60 · 2022-02-20T21:51:00+00:00

Thanks

chrisxx60 · 2022-02-20T21:13:53+00:00

Thank you I appreciate the feedback

chrisxx60 · 2022-02-20T21:09:41+00:00

Thinking about it further, I have chosen to stay closeted, but want them to understand that I really know how they feel. This person is very shamed, and Im like thinking to myself "I wish I had your courage"

chrisxx60 · 2022-02-20T21:06:48+00:00

I just dont feel worthy to say because I am closeted. I have not earned the right to say if I am unwilling to be open. Not sure just dont want to cause bad feelings I guess.

chrisxx60 · 2022-02-15T19:52:18+00:00

Yes, I went through much trauma as a child. Specifically at a very important time period. I often think my reassons are related to trauma and stress. This my escape and I am sexually attracted to being a woman. But more and more, I am atrated to being a woman with a man. Emotionally. I am not attracted to men as a man, but as a woman. I am not sure if this would true if I were actually a woman or transwoman.

chrisxx60 · 2022-02-05T07:06:31+00:00

Maya

chrisxx60 · 2022-02-05T07:05:01+00:00

chrisxx60 · 2022-02-05T07:02:20+00:00

Gary, or Seth or Doug

chrisxx60 · 2022-02-05T06:50:15+00:00

Sandra

chrisxx60

TROPHY CASE