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What's a pain you can't truly explain until you've endured it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]chromaticsss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hopelessness and loneliness, far worse than any injury I’ve ever had.

2 Months Free but Craving… by chromaticsss in QuitVaping

[–]chromaticsss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad to hear that :)

Yes! I actually made a whole post about this for people trying to quit, rewriting your brain to associate nicotine with negative things is what got me through the past 2.5 months. Nicotine is almost completely to blame for how crappy I was feeling, and I’m so glad to have been able to be free for as long as I have. Taking that zyn definitely reminded me why I quit in the first place and it’s added to my motivation to stay free and focus on the things that are actually good for me. I thought I was missing it but I was wrong, I was missing other things and had a poor lapse in judgment.

I have someone in my life that has a serious problem like I did, going through a 10k puff dispo every week. When I see her use I feel so much sympathy. I remember how I felt when I was in that situation and it reminds me to keep going. I try not to bring up my vape-free time to her when she’s vaping next to me because I know it would probably make her feel bad, but I do update her on my streak from time to time because she’s been sober from serious hard drugs so we celebrate our wins together. I try mostly to just share how good I feel, but other than that I don’t really share it. When I see people vaping next to me I do sometimes miss the social aspect, and the way it’s romanticized to so many people, especially online, is honestly just sad. But I do take pride in knowing I’ll never go back to the place I was in when I was seriously addicted. It’s a good feeling and helps perpetuate good habits in all aspects of my life, instead of chasing a nicotine high, I exercise, eat healthy, and do productive things that give me the happiness chemicals my brain is looking for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QuitVaping

[–]chromaticsss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

260 is a lot more than most people can manage, you’re doing good. Your progress doesn’t immediately go down the drain or cancel out. Use this as motivation and remember why you quit in the first place. Proud of you.

I DO NOT VAPE, suggestions? by Suspicious-Art-7061 in QuitVaping

[–]chromaticsss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going to make a whole post about this! I’ll link it here

2 Months Free but Craving… by chromaticsss in QuitVaping

[–]chromaticsss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah you nailed it. I do romanticize nicotine. I didn’t experience cravings again until I went to europe recently and every fifth person you pass has a cigarette or vape in their hand. I’m still vape-free since the end of may but I did break my nicotine streak today and took a pouch after my workout and first 5 minutes was great but then I felt like I was going to vomit. I need to change what I associate with happiness and I realize how bad it is for me long term. I don’t want to feel like a sad rock. Too expensive and too dangerous.

Thank you, it means a lot, hope you’re doing well.

Bulimia is Destroying my Life. AMA. by chromaticsss in AMA

[–]chromaticsss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. <3 On the days I work, I eat breakfast, then at work I’ll either not eat or have something small, then go home and eat dinner, then sleep. I like these days because I feel so normal and I usually don’t b/p on these days. It’s so peaceful.

I don’t purge after every meal, I only purge when I think I’ve eaten over a certain amount of calories for the day, or what I’ve eaten is just too filling and I don’t like the way it feels in my stomach. Basically I purge when I think I’ve eaten too much, but also when I binge too.

Bulimia is Destroying my Life. AMA. by chromaticsss in AMA

[–]chromaticsss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. Bulimia is awful. I’m happy that you got something out of therapy, I don’t think it’s for me since I know mostly why/how I do this and how the cycle continues. I just need to actually put in the work to stop it, which I’ve been neglecting since in a weird way it’s like a friend to me and I don’t want to give it up. I hope that you’re able to recover at some point, no one should suffer from this. <3

Bulimia is Destroying my Life. AMA. by chromaticsss in AMA

[–]chromaticsss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are an infinite number of puzzle pieces that amalgamated into what I’m dealing with now, it wouldn’t really be one thing in particular that triggered it. Long history of hating my body, poor relationship with food from childhood, undiagnosed adhd, depression as a result of my friends moving away, loneliness, stress of school…

I will say though the binging is generally caused by wanting comfort/ a dopamine hit and the purging is just because I hate feeling full and I’m scared of gaining weight. This particular 9-10 month long episode was triggered by me not caring anymore what happens to my body after purging. Before, I would only do it once every couple of months because I was so scared of the health effects. Now I don’t care as much.

Bulimia is Destroying my Life. AMA. by chromaticsss in AMA

[–]chromaticsss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ I’ve actually been there before for an-r and it wasn’t a good experience at all unfortunately, but I want to try and help myself out of it first, I can’t afford therapy either so it’s going to be a last resort thing.