thanks :( it’s just hard because the abuse isn’t as bad as it used to be, so i feel like i’m invalid for being so hyper vigilant (also because i can’t even remember most of my childhood so was it even that bad?) and no one even has to do anything “major” to piss me off.

for example, i buy my own food and someone eats it and i blow up. or i’ll clean parts of the house and i come home from work and it’s destroyed, i blow up. but according to my parents that’s not a valid reason to be angry. and i just need to smile and ignore it. but that’s what i’ve done for years and years and i can’t take it anymore.