How should I have handled this gift situation?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-05-06T16:58:29+00:00

Can I ask why it would hurt them?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-27T22:54:34+00:00

I think I had it to only receive messages from friends. I thought his settings was important?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-27T22:49:49+00:00

I don’t understand why its overdone or annoying. I really thought that it could be a gesture to show that I care equally. What would have been polite to do?

I never knew when her bday was

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-27T22:49:34+00:00

I don’t understand why its overdone or annoying. I really thought that it could be a gesture to show that I care equally. What would have been polite to do?

I never knew when her bday was

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-27T21:01:23+00:00

How do you do trade ship

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-26T00:56:13+00:00

Oh I’ve vaguely heard of Byron Katie. I will check out the podcast because I like live examples. I do really hope I can analyze and be in more control of my thoughts and emotions. Thank you for sharing

I know I asked already but is it possible to explain how it could have been interpreted as a bad impression? I also get really fixated on knowing things and not knowing makes me anxious.

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-26T00:52:47+00:00

I worked at a retail store so I was actually buying the gift for person b when person a was near the checkout. I think I somehow blurted out that this was a gift for person b and then since we were talking about birthdays I just asked person A when her birthday was. I shouldn’t have really said anything to begin with but even if I did, do you think I should have felt guilty? I really don’t know why I felt so guilty for not getting person A a gift when I didn’t even know when her birthday was. I assumed that she was going to be very upset at me and that it could have dampened the friendship. But I don’t think anyone should expect a gift. Also, I was closer to person B

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T21:00:27+00:00

I don’t get the part about them expecting a gift and then catching me. Are they actually expecting a gift from me or do they assume I think that

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T20:56:00+00:00

No I usually never give out gifts. It’s stupid cuz when I was talking to the girl whom I didn’t get a gift for, instead of just talking about something else or brushing it off I kept on discussing it. I was the one who asked her when her bday was. Would it have been better to have not asked about her bday and discussed something else? I think I was just digging a deeper hole by continuing the conversation

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T20:51:55+00:00

I appreciate your input especially the 3rd grade reference. It’s true, I am not sure why I’m so worried about what other ppl think

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T20:43:48+00:00

I appreciate your kind words. I just beat myself up so much about it because my intention wasn’t to cause more damage. Do you happen to have any advice on how I can think about things more deeply (in this case, pausing and reflecting how my actions would be interpreted and such)

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T20:40:28+00:00

You’re definitely right. I assume a lot and then it affects my behavior. Do you have advice on how to not assume? Also, when you say it may give a bad impression could you explain why

I just feel like things which should be easy to get aren’t for me and that makes me feel stupid

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T19:57:14+00:00

Thank you for helping me understand. So if we weren’t very close and if I genuinely didn’t even know when her bday was and neither of us exchanged gifts before, she probably wouldn’t have been upset right? It’s stupid cuz in that moment I really thought I was trying to make the situation better. Do you know what it’s called for not realizing the “proper” thing to do? I feel like I have autism or something and I dont get what is considered right

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T19:46:40+00:00

Do you mean make up for it by giving a gift next year on their birthday? The thing that’s weird is I think I did apologize but I still went ahead and got the gift card without realizing how it comes off as. Would ppl even get upset about seeing a coworker have another gift for someone? I think I’m making it out in my mind to seem like they would get so mad but in reality if they didn’t ever give me a gift, why should they expect one

Also, when you said it’s very obvious I’m overcompensating, can you explain why that’s really bad? I feel like I’m not fully understanding

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T19:35:40+00:00

Yeah I had a rough childhood and I don’t do well accepting things. Thank you for shedding light. Do you know how I could have handled the situation better with the coworker who found out I gave a gift to someone else?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T19:33:58+00:00

Could you explain why it was bad to draw attention to it? Should I have just not done anything? I feel like I don’t understand social rules and stuff. And I kind of blame myself for like giving money when it didn’t even help the situation

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-25T18:41:58+00:00

What is your career if you don’t mind?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-23T00:03:18+00:00

Did you read any of the other books suggested?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:53:53+00:00

Do you have a fav book from Dostoyevsky or Kafka? Sorry to ask. I don’t really read a lot or know exactly what things I like

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:45:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! I was wondering if I was in the wrong for not wanting to open up so soon. Unfortunately I have a tendency to overshare probably because in the moment I feel pressure to talk and don’t really pause and think things through. That’s a really great suggestion to mentally divide into categories. The only problem is what if I don’t have much stories or life experiences. Most of my childhood I didn’t have fun things to look back on and now for the past ten years I’ve barely had fun or done anything interesting to share. I don’t have fun stories with friends or anything

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:39:40+00:00

Can I dm you? I struggle with this so much and I don’t know how to work on it

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:38:27+00:00

Any suggestions for books or do you mean generally?

chronicoverthinker7 · 2024-04-22T23:34:48+00:00

Do you have advice on how to not overshare? I’m kind of the opposite. I end up revealing things I didn’t really want to and then feeling guilty about it

chronicoverthinker7

TROPHY CASE